I can't seem to type straight. My fingers feel like insensitive lumps of flesh at the end of my hand and they can't seem to translate what I am thinking into words on a page. They feel numb and fat. I keep having to go back and correct words that I've mis-typed and I'm feeling very frustrated by it.
I thought maybe I needed to limber them up, get them moving, get the blood flowing, and that would solve the problem. So I went down to the piano, thinking a half hour of playing would help.
I pulled out the bench.
It fell apart in my hands.
By the time I fixed it, I was even more frustrated, but tried to play anyway.
Didn't work. Can't type... can't play piano either.
This is going to be a very long day.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Perhaps I worry too much
In the neverending saga of the comprehensive exams - will it ever end? - I might have to rethink my schedule yet again. Last summer, I had hoped I would be ready to write by the end of this year. Then around Christmas I revised that to fall next year.
Now I'm scared it might be even later than next fall. I'm trying to figure out how Dwayne's schedule is going to impact mine. He was hoping for the summer externship slot, but instead got the fall one: Oct-Dec. It's out in Holyoke, which is about an hour and a half west of here. A long commute, so we're thinking he would go out Monday, come back Friday (there's an apartment available for the students).
So, you can guess why I'm wondering if fall is the best time for me to write. During the week, I'll be playing the single parent game again - not as hard as it would be with little kids, after all, I mostly need to make sure they eat (healthy) food and go to bed before midnight - but I still will be the only one around to field questions, dole out money, mediate endless arguments about who took who's shirt/shoes/keys, help with homework, give permission to go places etc.
And then when Dwayne comes home on the weekend, I'll want to spend time with him, so it'll be difficult to keep to a study schedule then.
Not to mention how weird it will feel to sleep alone.
Or that I'll be vehicle-less during the week.
Or that I'll just plain miss him.
I know it's a great opportunity for him (the Holyoke clinic is trés up-to-date technologically), but I can't help but feel that writing my exams under such conditions is going to just be harder than it would be otherwise.
But maybe I just worry too much - after all, I might want to write in fall, but that doesn't mean my committee will agree with me that I'm ready by then. After all, I don't even have any reading lists approved yet... unlike SOME people!
Now I'm scared it might be even later than next fall. I'm trying to figure out how Dwayne's schedule is going to impact mine. He was hoping for the summer externship slot, but instead got the fall one: Oct-Dec. It's out in Holyoke, which is about an hour and a half west of here. A long commute, so we're thinking he would go out Monday, come back Friday (there's an apartment available for the students).
So, you can guess why I'm wondering if fall is the best time for me to write. During the week, I'll be playing the single parent game again - not as hard as it would be with little kids, after all, I mostly need to make sure they eat (healthy) food and go to bed before midnight - but I still will be the only one around to field questions, dole out money, mediate endless arguments about who took who's shirt/shoes/keys, help with homework, give permission to go places etc.
And then when Dwayne comes home on the weekend, I'll want to spend time with him, so it'll be difficult to keep to a study schedule then.
Not to mention how weird it will feel to sleep alone.
Or that I'll be vehicle-less during the week.
Or that I'll just plain miss him.
I know it's a great opportunity for him (the Holyoke clinic is trés up-to-date technologically), but I can't help but feel that writing my exams under such conditions is going to just be harder than it would be otherwise.
But maybe I just worry too much - after all, I might want to write in fall, but that doesn't mean my committee will agree with me that I'm ready by then. After all, I don't even have any reading lists approved yet... unlike SOME people!
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Monday, February 21, 2005
This game has 240 hours...
When you can't get hockey on a regular basis, I guess the next best thing is to get an awful lot of it.
Which is it?
I just spent 6 hours putting together documents for a scholarship application.
Was this:
a) time well spent?
or
b) a colossal waste of time?
I suppose the answer will depend on whether I get the scholarship or not (don't hold you're breath, it's a bit of a long shot)
Was this:
a) time well spent?
or
b) a colossal waste of time?
I suppose the answer will depend on whether I get the scholarship or not (don't hold you're breath, it's a bit of a long shot)
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Wow! Did I understimate that or what?!
While looking for something else, I came across this entry where I write: "I also got a few things straightened out about next year's comprehensive exam proposals (3), but I still have to meet with at least four more people (hopefully no more than that) before I can even think about beginning to read up on the areas before writing the proposals."
Proposals? I was talking proposals back in March?
I SO did not understand what I was getting into - I haven't even started thinking about proposals... I haven't even figured out primary reading lists yet, let alone secondary ones or rationale for a proposal!
Dammit! This process is taking WAY too long! And I'm not getting any younger!
Proposals? I was talking proposals back in March?
I SO did not understand what I was getting into - I haven't even started thinking about proposals... I haven't even figured out primary reading lists yet, let alone secondary ones or rationale for a proposal!
Dammit! This process is taking WAY too long! And I'm not getting any younger!
Friday, February 18, 2005
Updating
I've been working to update my Books list - I've got all but one book (that I've finished that is) now listed in case you're interested.
My favorite recent quote? It's from Fire and Ice: “…we Canadians sometimes find our neighbours baffling. Between their rhetoric and our own (the left’s admonitions about the dangers of convergence with the gun-toting free marketers to the south, the right’s insistence that we shed our outdated national differences like garments on a long-awaited wedding night and join our industrious, innovative Yankee friends in an orgy of free trade and economic growth), Americans are reflected in so many funhouse mirrors that it would be remarkable if we saw them, collectively, as anything other than caricatures” (20).
Living here does however help smash some of those funhouse mirrors.
My favorite recent quote? It's from Fire and Ice: “…we Canadians sometimes find our neighbours baffling. Between their rhetoric and our own (the left’s admonitions about the dangers of convergence with the gun-toting free marketers to the south, the right’s insistence that we shed our outdated national differences like garments on a long-awaited wedding night and join our industrious, innovative Yankee friends in an orgy of free trade and economic growth), Americans are reflected in so many funhouse mirrors that it would be remarkable if we saw them, collectively, as anything other than caricatures” (20).
Living here does however help smash some of those funhouse mirrors.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Sharing is caring
...and cleanliness is next to godliness... blah, blah, blah
Posts have been/will be sparse for the next little while. D and I have to share a computer now because his went kaput on the weekend and with the amount we both use a computer, this one's getting a workout! So blogging is low on my list of stuff-I-need-to-do-when-I-have-the-computer.
In the meantime, in the interest of updating the aphorism in this blog post title, I give you a twenty-first century list of aphorisms:
Home is where you hang your @.
The email of the species is more deadly than the mail.
A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
The modem is the message.
Too many clicks spoil the browse.
The geek shall inherit the earth.
A chat has nine lives.
Don't byte off more than you can view.
Fax is stranger than fiction.
What boots up must come down.
Windows will never cease.
Virtual reality is its own reward.
Modulation in all things.
A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
There's no place like http://www.home.com
Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him to surf the Net, and he won't bother you for months on end.
Courtesy the nice people over at River Deep. (It you're trying to figure out the oh-so-twentieth-century versions these came from, check out their page)
Posts have been/will be sparse for the next little while. D and I have to share a computer now because his went kaput on the weekend and with the amount we both use a computer, this one's getting a workout! So blogging is low on my list of stuff-I-need-to-do-when-I-have-the-computer.
In the meantime, in the interest of updating the aphorism in this blog post title, I give you a twenty-first century list of aphorisms:
Home is where you hang your @.
The email of the species is more deadly than the mail.
A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
The modem is the message.
Too many clicks spoil the browse.
The geek shall inherit the earth.
A chat has nine lives.
Don't byte off more than you can view.
Fax is stranger than fiction.
What boots up must come down.
Windows will never cease.
Virtual reality is its own reward.
Modulation in all things.
A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
There's no place like http://www.home.com
Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him to surf the Net, and he won't bother you for months on end.
Courtesy the nice people over at River Deep. (It you're trying to figure out the oh-so-twentieth-century versions these came from, check out their page)
Monday, February 14, 2005
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Cartoons & Poetry
Plopping yourself in from of the television and watching cartoons for hours and hours until your mind is numb is a long established Saturday tradition in childhood.
I just walked past the tv where a cartoon character is discussing poetic form in William Blake.
I don't ever remember the Roadrunner or Bug Bunny discussing art, do you?
I just walked past the tv where a cartoon character is discussing poetic form in William Blake.
I don't ever remember the Roadrunner or Bug Bunny discussing art, do you?
Friday, February 11, 2005
Implicit patriotism?
I have noticed over the last two years that when people ask where we will go when we are finished school, the Americans assume we will remain in America and the Canadians assume we will return to Canada.
I, however, assume we will go where ever we can find jobs!
I, however, assume we will go where ever we can find jobs!
Monday, February 07, 2005
Playing Games
Weird coincidence today.
Bookmarked a chapter on "Games as Narrative Play" in a textbook that I want to read before I return it to the library later this week.
But while taking a break, see this article about how video games shouldn't include narrative pieces, or "cutscenes".
In the article, Thompson guesses at why games are incorporating more and longer cutscenes: These Hollywood flourishes are good for dazzling mainstream journalists and pundits. That's because there's still a weird anxiety about adults playing games. Most people still think that video games are sophomoric kid stuff; the ones that have a narrative and emulate the movies seem more serious and, well, mature.
But movie watching (especially obsessive movie watching) is still the province of the young. That's why there are so many annoying teen movies out there... and why the scripts of so many other (potentially) good movies are riddled with easy answers, implausibly happy endings, and other story killers. But I digress.
Thompson explains his objection to cutscenes as one arising directly out of their narrativity, something he implies is antithetical to the pleasure of gaming itself: Playing a game, any kind of game, is inherently open-ended and interactive. Whether you're playing chess, Go, or Super Mario Bros., you don't really know how things will wind up or what will happen along the way. Narrative, on the other hand, is neither open-ended nor interactive. When you're watching a story, you surrender masochistically to the storyteller. The fun is in not having control, in sitting still and going "Yeah? And then what happened? And then?"
That's why cut scenes are such a massive pain in the neck—they enforce passivity. There's nothing more annoying than going on a shooting spree, then having to break the rhythm of play by putting your game pad down for minutes at a time.
He does have a point. Cutscenes do require the player to sit back and stop bashing at the buttons for a few moments. But sometimes that respite is necessary. In their discussion of games, the authors of Rules of Play propose some rationales for including cutscenes: surveillance or planning tool (provide information about upcoming events), game play catapult (where the cut scene explains, or hints at the upcoming action), scene and mood setting (introducing changes to scene or increases in a particular mood as the game progresses), choice and consequence (increases 'real life' feel), rhythm and pacing (rest from intense action), and player reward (visual delight or punishment) (Salen and Zimmerman).
What Thompson is complaining about (at least in GTA San Andreas) is the last, the enforced pause in play that interrupts intense action. This complaint addresses the difference in styles of play and desire for cutscenes between novice and experienced players that Salen and Zimmerman recognize. Experienced players have built up such a familiarity with the conventions of game playing (as Thompson says, there are few 'new' games), that they do not require planning, scene setting, a break from play or a cutscene as reward for successful play. Novice players do enjoy them.
The cutscenes were the parts that I was most fascinated by with The Getaway in part simply because they were cinematic, and I found it interesting to note how my play during the active parts of the game coincided or clashed with the cutscene. Often what I was experiencing during play had very little to do with the narrative of the game, but by structuring the game around the narrative, there was a unity to the play that transcended the repetitive nature of the game. I might be shooting people and driving while playing the game, but there was a reason why I was shooting at them (or chasing them). My 'motivation' for shooting and driving within the game is not simply to complete a level and ultimately win the game, but my character in the game is shooting and chasing these people because they've wronged him. So my player motivation (getting to the next level) is reinforced by my character's motivation (to avenge himself).
I would think that this kind of narrative support for player action inherent in the creation of cutscenes would actually enhance the gaming experience because you would be playing similar games for different reasons (at least according to why your character is doing what he/she is doing). Theoretically, wouldn't the presence of narrative accentuate the uniqueness of each game within a particular genre by providing a different motivation?
But I'm a novice gamer (very novice!), so perhaps there is some part of my argument that is missing because I lack the experience to see it. Thoughts?
Bookmarked a chapter on "Games as Narrative Play" in a textbook that I want to read before I return it to the library later this week.
But while taking a break, see this article about how video games shouldn't include narrative pieces, or "cutscenes".
In the article, Thompson guesses at why games are incorporating more and longer cutscenes: These Hollywood flourishes are good for dazzling mainstream journalists and pundits. That's because there's still a weird anxiety about adults playing games. Most people still think that video games are sophomoric kid stuff; the ones that have a narrative and emulate the movies seem more serious and, well, mature.
But movie watching (especially obsessive movie watching) is still the province of the young. That's why there are so many annoying teen movies out there... and why the scripts of so many other (potentially) good movies are riddled with easy answers, implausibly happy endings, and other story killers. But I digress.
Thompson explains his objection to cutscenes as one arising directly out of their narrativity, something he implies is antithetical to the pleasure of gaming itself: Playing a game, any kind of game, is inherently open-ended and interactive. Whether you're playing chess, Go, or Super Mario Bros., you don't really know how things will wind up or what will happen along the way. Narrative, on the other hand, is neither open-ended nor interactive. When you're watching a story, you surrender masochistically to the storyteller. The fun is in not having control, in sitting still and going "Yeah? And then what happened? And then?"
That's why cut scenes are such a massive pain in the neck—they enforce passivity. There's nothing more annoying than going on a shooting spree, then having to break the rhythm of play by putting your game pad down for minutes at a time.
He does have a point. Cutscenes do require the player to sit back and stop bashing at the buttons for a few moments. But sometimes that respite is necessary. In their discussion of games, the authors of Rules of Play propose some rationales for including cutscenes: surveillance or planning tool (provide information about upcoming events), game play catapult (where the cut scene explains, or hints at the upcoming action), scene and mood setting (introducing changes to scene or increases in a particular mood as the game progresses), choice and consequence (increases 'real life' feel), rhythm and pacing (rest from intense action), and player reward (visual delight or punishment) (Salen and Zimmerman).
What Thompson is complaining about (at least in GTA San Andreas) is the last, the enforced pause in play that interrupts intense action. This complaint addresses the difference in styles of play and desire for cutscenes between novice and experienced players that Salen and Zimmerman recognize. Experienced players have built up such a familiarity with the conventions of game playing (as Thompson says, there are few 'new' games), that they do not require planning, scene setting, a break from play or a cutscene as reward for successful play. Novice players do enjoy them.
The cutscenes were the parts that I was most fascinated by with The Getaway in part simply because they were cinematic, and I found it interesting to note how my play during the active parts of the game coincided or clashed with the cutscene. Often what I was experiencing during play had very little to do with the narrative of the game, but by structuring the game around the narrative, there was a unity to the play that transcended the repetitive nature of the game. I might be shooting people and driving while playing the game, but there was a reason why I was shooting at them (or chasing them). My 'motivation' for shooting and driving within the game is not simply to complete a level and ultimately win the game, but my character in the game is shooting and chasing these people because they've wronged him. So my player motivation (getting to the next level) is reinforced by my character's motivation (to avenge himself).
I would think that this kind of narrative support for player action inherent in the creation of cutscenes would actually enhance the gaming experience because you would be playing similar games for different reasons (at least according to why your character is doing what he/she is doing). Theoretically, wouldn't the presence of narrative accentuate the uniqueness of each game within a particular genre by providing a different motivation?
But I'm a novice gamer (very novice!), so perhaps there is some part of my argument that is missing because I lack the experience to see it. Thoughts?
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Good weekend
Well, it's not over yet, but I think it's fair to say this has been a pretty good weekend. I am trying to get a lot of work done today (hence giving up on invitations to Superbowl parties), but getting a lot done will feel good too.
Yesterday was fun - spent the afternoon with good friends and the evening with my family. Ate way too much. Drank not too much. Just a really, comfortable, happy, good time. (Much, much better than last year's birtday - in fact, I kept this year pretty low key mostly because I was paranoid that my plans would all fall apart again this year - part of my satisfaction with the day was that they didn't.)
Today, much work. It seems the more I accomplish, the more I think I still need to do. Will it ever end? Something similar to what's going on here with Cecilia keeps me coming back to the work though... time's winged chariot and all that.
Odd theme developed in my gift receiving however: received four movies: Quills, Identity, The Secret Window, and Eddie Izzard's Unrepeatable. First one: crazy guy. Second one: crazy people. Third one: Crazy guy. Fourth one: (up till a few decades ago, the DSM III would've labelled) crazy guy.
Meaning?
Maybe I don't want to know!
Yesterday was fun - spent the afternoon with good friends and the evening with my family. Ate way too much. Drank not too much. Just a really, comfortable, happy, good time. (Much, much better than last year's birtday - in fact, I kept this year pretty low key mostly because I was paranoid that my plans would all fall apart again this year - part of my satisfaction with the day was that they didn't.)
Today, much work. It seems the more I accomplish, the more I think I still need to do. Will it ever end? Something similar to what's going on here with Cecilia keeps me coming back to the work though... time's winged chariot and all that.
Odd theme developed in my gift receiving however: received four movies: Quills, Identity, The Secret Window, and Eddie Izzard's Unrepeatable. First one: crazy guy. Second one: crazy people. Third one: Crazy guy. Fourth one: (up till a few decades ago, the DSM III would've labelled) crazy guy.
Meaning?
Maybe I don't want to know!
Thursday, February 03, 2005
The ol' nature vs nurture scuffle
Got an email telling me how my cousin's adopted son has been having violent episodes and they are becoming frustrated. Okay, so I can understand that. Parenting is hard. Parenting someone else's kids is even harder (I've seen both sides of that one). Parenting someone else's kids who no longer wants them and you've adopted/fostered must be even harder.
But what got me was the part of the email where she describes the "issues" that might account for why her foster son has violent episodes: "abandonment, illegitimate birth, birth parents are both of a violent nature/violent lifestyle"
???
Okay, so I can see abandonment and witnessing a violent home life ("lifestyle") as reasons why a child might be acting violent. But how does the absence of a piece of paper conferring certain rights and responsibilities upon his parents, a piece of paper that is simply a social convention, account for a violent child? Does the child know this? Is his violence a rebellion against his parents's disregard for this cultural norm? Did he as a fetus recognize that he was in the womb of a woman who did not possess such a paper? What was it?
I'd like to be generous and explain that perhaps she meant something else and it was just a case of bad wording... but having grown up in the kind of environment that she lives in, I doubt it was meant as anything than what it sounds like: a moral judgment of someone else's choices in life, a blaming of the 'sins of the father' on the child. An essentialist notion that does nothing to address the issues her adopted son is facing right now.
Reminds me of the comments made a couple of weeks ago by Harvard University president Summers who seemed to imply in his address at an economics conference that women aren't genetically capable of filling his shoes. Nice refutations: Pharyngula and Michael Berube.
All I can say? Wow. I thought this was the twenty-first century.
But what got me was the part of the email where she describes the "issues" that might account for why her foster son has violent episodes: "abandonment, illegitimate birth, birth parents are both of a violent nature/violent lifestyle"
???
Okay, so I can see abandonment and witnessing a violent home life ("lifestyle") as reasons why a child might be acting violent. But how does the absence of a piece of paper conferring certain rights and responsibilities upon his parents, a piece of paper that is simply a social convention, account for a violent child? Does the child know this? Is his violence a rebellion against his parents's disregard for this cultural norm? Did he as a fetus recognize that he was in the womb of a woman who did not possess such a paper? What was it?
I'd like to be generous and explain that perhaps she meant something else and it was just a case of bad wording... but having grown up in the kind of environment that she lives in, I doubt it was meant as anything than what it sounds like: a moral judgment of someone else's choices in life, a blaming of the 'sins of the father' on the child. An essentialist notion that does nothing to address the issues her adopted son is facing right now.
Reminds me of the comments made a couple of weeks ago by Harvard University president Summers who seemed to imply in his address at an economics conference that women aren't genetically capable of filling his shoes. Nice refutations: Pharyngula and Michael Berube.
All I can say? Wow. I thought this was the twenty-first century.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Finally!
Finished a 922 page book today.
Sad part is, I began it in September.
But in all fairness to my feeble brain power (as evidenced by such a slow rate of reading) it was ALL lit theory and included this quotation as well as other similar mind-numb-ers.
Sad part is, I began it in September.
But in all fairness to my feeble brain power (as evidenced by such a slow rate of reading) it was ALL lit theory and included this quotation as well as other similar mind-numb-ers.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Uninteresting stuff
I don't really have anything interesting to say, but there are some things that are happening... all rather mundane.
We rearranged our living room/dining room area - it feels like we have more room, but I lost about a shelf of book space. We'll see if it improves living in cramped quarters at all.
The girls now have a computer than can access the internet - and it even has an ethernet card, so they don't have to dial up anymore.
I'm behind in my reading... again!
I got invited to two superbowl parties. Now I not only have to decide if I want to watch the game, but whether I want to watch it with other people, and then, which people I want to watch it with.
So far, my only birthday plans are to go out for lunch.
We rearranged our living room/dining room area - it feels like we have more room, but I lost about a shelf of book space. We'll see if it improves living in cramped quarters at all.
The girls now have a computer than can access the internet - and it even has an ethernet card, so they don't have to dial up anymore.
I'm behind in my reading... again!
I got invited to two superbowl parties. Now I not only have to decide if I want to watch the game, but whether I want to watch it with other people, and then, which people I want to watch it with.
So far, my only birthday plans are to go out for lunch.
Saturday, January 29, 2005
truth or fiction?
So I heard this lawyer talking about protecting yourself against lawsuits today. Why, you might ask, do you need to protect yourself against frivolous lawsuits, Michele? Not me! But my wonderful hubby will need malpractic insurance when he gets done. (I can't possibly think of anything in my line of work that could get me sued AND be covered by an insurance policy - if you think of something, let me know though, okay?)
During the talk he tells us of the Stella awards... they're named for Stella Liebeck, the woman who sued McDonald's over the heat of their coffee.
BUT what he told us was about an urban myth. He told us about a plaintiff who sued Winnebago because she (he) thought 'cruise control' was like 'autopilot' and left the driver's seat of the moving vehicle to go to the back and make coffee. Looks like that never happened... but it makes a great story.
Frivolous lawsuits are filed all the time, but they're often thrown out before they even go to trial (a good thing) and the ones that actually take up court time are usually a bit less dramatic (and frequently don't involve individuals), like the following:
Allstate sued Kraft Foods, the maker of the Toastette toaster pastry, and Pop-Tart creator Kellogg to avoid having to pay homeowners' fire claims. Allstate claimed Kraft and Kellogg were responsible for the fires by making dangerous, flammable toaster pastries.
Caterpillar sued the Walt Disney company for portraying bulldozers in a bad light. Caterpillar tried to block the release of "George of the Jungle 2," claiming that the film gave the company a bad name because its machines are used to attack the jungle. A judge found that "even the most credulous viewer" would understand that the people operating the machinery, and not the machinery itself, intended to destroy the jungle.
Mattel sued artist Tom Forsythe for his photographs of Barbie in poses the toymaker claimed defamed her character. The toymaker also sued recording label MCA when musical group Aqua released the song "Barbie Girl" that the company claimed defamed the doll with sexual innuendo. Both suits were dismissed, and Mattel had to pay $1.8 million to the artist in attorney fees, for trying to intimidate him into not using Barbie's image in his art.
Kellogg's sued the owners of Toucan Golf for trademark infringement. The cereal maker claimed that its Toucan Sam logo for the Froot Loops cereal would be damaged by Toucan Golf's golf-playing bird. A court found that no one could possibly confuse breakfast cereal and golfing.
Amway and Proctor & Gamble are engaged in an ongoing fight -- which has encompassed 20 years and has stretched to the courts -- over rumors that P&G is in league with Satan. P&G claims that Amway is accusing it of ties to Lucifer. A judge dismissed the fight's most recent incarnation in court, and expressed her hope that the corporate giants would continue their fight at the commercial level, and stop wasting judicial resources.
From the Foundation for Consumer and Taxpayer Rights
The urban myth includes such eye-poppers as the following (you'll see the Winnebago at the bottom):
The Stella Award
It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella Awards. The Stellas' are named! after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's.
That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonald's, the teens who allege that eating at McDonald's has made them fat, was filed after the 2003 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2004 awards list without question.
THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO ...
5TH PLACE(TIED): Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's Son.
5TH PLACE(TIED): 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.
5TH PLACE(TIED): Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door Opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue ! mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
4TH PLACE: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
3RD PLACE: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an argument.
2ND PLACE: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1ST PLACE: This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreational vehicles.
BUT, snopes.com (which I have a great deal of trust for) indicates that these stories are false. They do have some interesting real stories at the bottom of their page about the Stella Awards though.
During the talk he tells us of the Stella awards... they're named for Stella Liebeck, the woman who sued McDonald's over the heat of their coffee.
BUT what he told us was about an urban myth. He told us about a plaintiff who sued Winnebago because she (he) thought 'cruise control' was like 'autopilot' and left the driver's seat of the moving vehicle to go to the back and make coffee. Looks like that never happened... but it makes a great story.
Frivolous lawsuits are filed all the time, but they're often thrown out before they even go to trial (a good thing) and the ones that actually take up court time are usually a bit less dramatic (and frequently don't involve individuals), like the following:
Allstate sued Kraft Foods, the maker of the Toastette toaster pastry, and Pop-Tart creator Kellogg to avoid having to pay homeowners' fire claims. Allstate claimed Kraft and Kellogg were responsible for the fires by making dangerous, flammable toaster pastries.
Caterpillar sued the Walt Disney company for portraying bulldozers in a bad light. Caterpillar tried to block the release of "George of the Jungle 2," claiming that the film gave the company a bad name because its machines are used to attack the jungle. A judge found that "even the most credulous viewer" would understand that the people operating the machinery, and not the machinery itself, intended to destroy the jungle.
Mattel sued artist Tom Forsythe for his photographs of Barbie in poses the toymaker claimed defamed her character. The toymaker also sued recording label MCA when musical group Aqua released the song "Barbie Girl" that the company claimed defamed the doll with sexual innuendo. Both suits were dismissed, and Mattel had to pay $1.8 million to the artist in attorney fees, for trying to intimidate him into not using Barbie's image in his art.
Kellogg's sued the owners of Toucan Golf for trademark infringement. The cereal maker claimed that its Toucan Sam logo for the Froot Loops cereal would be damaged by Toucan Golf's golf-playing bird. A court found that no one could possibly confuse breakfast cereal and golfing.
Amway and Proctor & Gamble are engaged in an ongoing fight -- which has encompassed 20 years and has stretched to the courts -- over rumors that P&G is in league with Satan. P&G claims that Amway is accusing it of ties to Lucifer. A judge dismissed the fight's most recent incarnation in court, and expressed her hope that the corporate giants would continue their fight at the commercial level, and stop wasting judicial resources.
From the Foundation for Consumer and Taxpayer Rights
The urban myth includes such eye-poppers as the following (you'll see the Winnebago at the bottom):
The Stella Award
It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella Awards. The Stellas' are named! after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's.
That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonald's, the teens who allege that eating at McDonald's has made them fat, was filed after the 2003 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2004 awards list without question.
THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO ...
5TH PLACE(TIED): Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's Son.
5TH PLACE(TIED): 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.
5TH PLACE(TIED): Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door Opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue ! mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
4TH PLACE: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
3RD PLACE: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an argument.
2ND PLACE: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1ST PLACE: This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreational vehicles.
BUT, snopes.com (which I have a great deal of trust for) indicates that these stories are false. They do have some interesting real stories at the bottom of their page about the Stella Awards though.
Friday, January 28, 2005
Blocked blogger
Haven't blogged in what, a week?
Very busy.
Nothing interesting to say.
Maybe better luck tomorrow.
Very busy.
Nothing interesting to say.
Maybe better luck tomorrow.
Friday, January 21, 2005
Chronology of a crisis, Vancouver Island-style
5:35 pm. Environment Canada predicts two to five centimetres of snow will fall on Victoria within a 24-hour period. Ed Bain reads the forecast on-air , turns white and faints.
5:40 pm. Victoria Mayor Alan Lowe issues immediate appeal for federal assistance. Prime Minister Paul Martin promises to send in the army.
8:45 pm. Victorians begin queuing at tire stores, leaving vehicles in line overnight to be first served in morning.
10:15 pm. It turns out B.C.'s last army base, CFB Chilliwack,closed in 1998. Martin promises to send in the navy instead.
10:20 pm. Navy announces deployment to San Diego and Hawaii for "security reasons." Leader Stephen Harper suggests prime minister call Quebec advertising agencies to shovel snow, "since that's where the Liberals are spending all our money anyway."
6:22 am. Temperature plunges. Word spreads that Saanich man found ice on windshield. Curious neighbours gather to watch him scrape it off with credit card. One motorist, a former Albertan, claims use of mysterious "defrost" switch on dashboard can aid in process.
8:15 am. Terrified downtown skateboarders lose toques to menacing mob of balding, middle-aged men. "We tried to run," they say, "but those stupid baggy-assed pants made us fall down."
9:30 am. Hardware stores sell both of the snow shovels. Islanders begin cobbling together implements made from kayak paddles, umbrellas, plywood, cookie sheets and boogie boards.
10:00 am. Golfers switch to orange balls. Beacon Hill Park cricket players, anxious not to repeat the ugly "snow-blower incident" of the Blizzard of '96, switch to orange uniforms.
Noon. Word of impending West Coast snowfall tops newscasts across Canada. Saskatoon hospitals report epidemic of sprained wrists related to viewers high-fiving one another.
1:20 pm. Elementary schools call in grief counselors. Grief counselors refuse to go, citing lack of snow tires.
2:30 pm. Rush hour begins an hour early as office workers come down with mysterious illness and bolt for home. Usual traffic snarl is compounded by large number of four-wheel-drives abandoned by side of road.
2:50 pm. Airplanes grounded and ferries docked. No way to travel between Island and rest of the world. Times Colonist headline: Mainland Cut Off From Civilization.
3:22 pm. Prime Minister Martin announces Canada's DART rapid response team can be on the ground within six months. "We can't leave Victoria to deal with 225 centimetres of snow on its own," he tells Lowe."Um, that's two-to-five centimetres, not two-two-five," replies the mayor. The prime minister hangs up.
3:33 pm. Provincial government responds to crisis by installing slot machines in homeless shelters.
3:45 pm. Builders of new arena announce weather-related delays will push completion date back to July 2008.
4:10 pm. At behest of Provincial Emergency Program, authorities begin adding Prozac to drinking water.
4:15 pm. Fears of food shortage lead to alarming scenes of violence and looting. Grocery shoppers riot across the city, except in Oak Bay, where residents hire caterers to do the rioting for them.
4:30 pm. Bracing for the arrival of snow, the city is gripped by an eerie stillness reminiscent of Baghdad on the eve of the invasion. Searchlights comb darkening sky for first sign of precipitation.
4:48 pm. Panic ripples across region as word comes in that first flakes have fallen on Malahat. False alarm. "Flakes" turn out to be nothing more than anthrax spores released by terrorists. An uneasy calm returns to city.
5:40 pm. Ed Bain, shaking uncontrollably, tells viewers that snow warning has been extended. This weather pattern could go on for days. Mercury plummets to Calgary-in-August levels. Martial law is declared. Victoria-area politicians announce plans to establish emergency command centre aboard HMCS Regina once it reaches Oahu.
*Thanks to Rob for the forward
5:40 pm. Victoria Mayor Alan Lowe issues immediate appeal for federal assistance. Prime Minister Paul Martin promises to send in the army.
8:45 pm. Victorians begin queuing at tire stores, leaving vehicles in line overnight to be first served in morning.
10:15 pm. It turns out B.C.'s last army base, CFB Chilliwack,closed in 1998. Martin promises to send in the navy instead.
10:20 pm. Navy announces deployment to San Diego and Hawaii for "security reasons." Leader Stephen Harper suggests prime minister call Quebec advertising agencies to shovel snow, "since that's where the Liberals are spending all our money anyway."
6:22 am. Temperature plunges. Word spreads that Saanich man found ice on windshield. Curious neighbours gather to watch him scrape it off with credit card. One motorist, a former Albertan, claims use of mysterious "defrost" switch on dashboard can aid in process.
8:15 am. Terrified downtown skateboarders lose toques to menacing mob of balding, middle-aged men. "We tried to run," they say, "but those stupid baggy-assed pants made us fall down."
9:30 am. Hardware stores sell both of the snow shovels. Islanders begin cobbling together implements made from kayak paddles, umbrellas, plywood, cookie sheets and boogie boards.
10:00 am. Golfers switch to orange balls. Beacon Hill Park cricket players, anxious not to repeat the ugly "snow-blower incident" of the Blizzard of '96, switch to orange uniforms.
Noon. Word of impending West Coast snowfall tops newscasts across Canada. Saskatoon hospitals report epidemic of sprained wrists related to viewers high-fiving one another.
1:20 pm. Elementary schools call in grief counselors. Grief counselors refuse to go, citing lack of snow tires.
2:30 pm. Rush hour begins an hour early as office workers come down with mysterious illness and bolt for home. Usual traffic snarl is compounded by large number of four-wheel-drives abandoned by side of road.
2:50 pm. Airplanes grounded and ferries docked. No way to travel between Island and rest of the world. Times Colonist headline: Mainland Cut Off From Civilization.
3:22 pm. Prime Minister Martin announces Canada's DART rapid response team can be on the ground within six months. "We can't leave Victoria to deal with 225 centimetres of snow on its own," he tells Lowe."Um, that's two-to-five centimetres, not two-two-five," replies the mayor. The prime minister hangs up.
3:33 pm. Provincial government responds to crisis by installing slot machines in homeless shelters.
3:45 pm. Builders of new arena announce weather-related delays will push completion date back to July 2008.
4:10 pm. At behest of Provincial Emergency Program, authorities begin adding Prozac to drinking water.
4:15 pm. Fears of food shortage lead to alarming scenes of violence and looting. Grocery shoppers riot across the city, except in Oak Bay, where residents hire caterers to do the rioting for them.
4:30 pm. Bracing for the arrival of snow, the city is gripped by an eerie stillness reminiscent of Baghdad on the eve of the invasion. Searchlights comb darkening sky for first sign of precipitation.
4:48 pm. Panic ripples across region as word comes in that first flakes have fallen on Malahat. False alarm. "Flakes" turn out to be nothing more than anthrax spores released by terrorists. An uneasy calm returns to city.
5:40 pm. Ed Bain, shaking uncontrollably, tells viewers that snow warning has been extended. This weather pattern could go on for days. Mercury plummets to Calgary-in-August levels. Martial law is declared. Victoria-area politicians announce plans to establish emergency command centre aboard HMCS Regina once it reaches Oahu.
*Thanks to Rob for the forward
Thursday, January 20, 2005
A PhD is a desert wasteland
So much of my work is solitary. I like talking to other people about stuff I've read (that'd be why I belong to a couple of book clubs), but there's only so much talking that you can do as a student of literature. Conferences are cool in that they're a chance not only to talk about things you've been working on, but also hear what other people are doing.
Much more of your time is spent reading...all alone. Before you can talk about a book, you have to have read it, right? And sometimes after you've read it, you need to write about it...another solitary activity.
The worst part? All that sedentariness tends to make your ass grow on top of everything. I actually have found I need to get out and go to the gym - my legs will start twitching and aching when I don't. I suppose that's a good thing (the exercise, that is).
But it's a lot of hard work done without the benefit of coworkers or companions like you might have in any other line of work.
So when I see an article like this, that describes how one senior employee in the government managed to get a six figure position by earning a PhD that took five hours and a 2,000 (yes, two thousand) word dissertation to complete, it gets really depressing.
[To put it in context, that dissertation is eight times longer than this post] Hmmmm, I seem to be doing a whole lot more than that for mine!
Much more of your time is spent reading...all alone. Before you can talk about a book, you have to have read it, right? And sometimes after you've read it, you need to write about it...another solitary activity.
The worst part? All that sedentariness tends to make your ass grow on top of everything. I actually have found I need to get out and go to the gym - my legs will start twitching and aching when I don't. I suppose that's a good thing (the exercise, that is).
But it's a lot of hard work done without the benefit of coworkers or companions like you might have in any other line of work.
So when I see an article like this, that describes how one senior employee in the government managed to get a six figure position by earning a PhD that took five hours and a 2,000 (yes, two thousand) word dissertation to complete, it gets really depressing.
[To put it in context, that dissertation is eight times longer than this post] Hmmmm, I seem to be doing a whole lot more than that for mine!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)