Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Chuck Norris?

So apparently, Chuck Norris jokes are all the thing now. Why? I don't know.

My students were comparing their favourites during our lab period today, and at first, I thought I was mis-hearing them. But no. These students, who weren't even alive when Chuck Norris movies were cool, are suddenly all over him.

I don't get it. I've probably seen every Chuck Norris movie ever made - I dated a guy who was a huge Norris fan - but the cinephile in me has erased most of those memories. Despite that, I have to say, I find the Norris websites confusing...

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Intellectual stimulation (or lack thereof)

I've been feeling the isolation of being in a place NOT the same as the university that will grant me my degree when all is said and done.

I knew it would be a tradeoff coming here - that work, life, kids education etc. would be easier, but writing the dissertation would be harder. But it's felt particularly poignant over the last few days because:
a) I received email notice about a workshop that I'd badly love to attend but can't since it's 3000 miles away
b) A friend and colleague is defending and I won't be there for it.
c) I'm realizing that with the end of the semester (for most people) that everyone is busy and I should not expect responses to the various queries I have sent over the last few weeks.

I've tried to alleviate some of the isolation by attending events at the local university, but with the term winding down, those will also dry up over the summer. We did go to the local sciencecafe last month, and I hope to go again this month, but that's only one evening every four weeks or so, and doesn't really satisfy in the way that attending a lecture or defense would.

I'm taking summer off from one of my jobs, so I'll have more time for writing, but with the summer also come even fewer opportunities for intellectual stimulation. At least the internet is a (poor) substitute, that will hopefully keep me going till I get through the writing!

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Patience

Everytime I start a new academic or work project, I label a new file folder. I'm going to either have to go buy more folders, or stop beginning new projects because I've only got one left now. I'll give you three guesses which option I'll choose, and the first two don't count!

I'm a rather impatient person. I've been trying to get better at it, but I do tend to want things to happen faster than they tend to. I'm thinking that might be why I keep taking on so many projects. While I'm waiting for other people to do their part of a project, I get impatient and go start a new one. Then all of a sudden I've got a huge number of projects on the go!
Patience is a virtue.
Virtue is a grace.
Grace is a little girl,
Who doesn't wash her face.

I recently worked on a project for a government client. Talk about slow! Everything has to be approved by many people at many different levels, and just getting an answer to a question can take a week! That was hard to get used to.

But academia really isn't any better. I find myself getting a bit annoyed at the seasons of academia. Last spring/summer, I sent off three proposals for book chapters or articles to various places, all of which were conditionally accepted (to my surprise!) Each indicated they would respond and send revision requests by the fall. It's now April and I've yet to see those revision notes. I also know I won't see them till May since it's the end of the term, but I find myself a bit annoyed that none of these projects seem to have happened on schedule. I'm suspecting that's the norm in academia, but it doesn't make it any easier while I wait.

I'd just really love to finish these projects off, file them away, and concentrate on the current ones. *sigh* But I'll just have to wait till I hear back from the people who have the power to publish them.
Have patience. Have patience.
Don't be in such a hurry.
When you get impatient,
You only start to worry.
Remember, remember,
that God is patient too.
And think of all the times
when others have to wait for you*.

I am hopeful that someday I'll learn patience. I have been learning to be a more patient driver over the last few years. Perhaps I'll be able to do the same for the rest of my life as well. It's just that there's so much I want to do that I don't want to wait in order to be able to do it! That includes academic projects, which is my challenge: to focus on what's happening right now, and leave everyone else's schedules to them.

*These are the lyrics to a children's song the girls would listen to on one of their favorite tapes. For the full effect, you'd have to be able to imagine a turtle singing them in a slow, low voice that sounds like a record being played too slow.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

New genre

I'm venturing into a new scholarly genre in three weeks time - the poster paper.

The genre is primarily used by scientists (including social scientists) so those of us in the humanities usually don't have the experience of publishing this way. But I submitted an abstract to a conference on genomics (the science of genetic information), specifically to their section on "liberal democracy and genomics" and it was picked up as a poster paper.

So now I have to figure this genre out!

Looks very different from the kind of writing/publishing I'm used to doing, that's for sure!

It does offer me the opportunity to think beyond just words to describe the work that I'm doing, which is not only a novelty, but something I've been wanting to do for a while now. (I've been thinking about creating a dissertation-based website where I can include dissertation-related material that wouldn't necessarily make it into the dissertation itself)

I think producing this poster presentation will actually be very productive as I work to adapt my research to this kind of format. I'm expecting that in the act of translating my work into this new genre, it will reveal things about my research that I haven't really thought about before.

Certainly, thinking about my research into the novel I'll be discussing - Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro - as a scientific project, with a background discussion, methodology, results and discussion, will require me to approach the novel and my work on it from a different angle than I have to this point.

I realize what I'm doing might be construed by some as a kind of "disloyalty" to the discipline. After all, the 2006 presidential address by Marjorie Perloff to the MLA called for a return to a more conventional definition of the English department, with less cultural studies and perhaps even less interdisciplinary work and more literary work. The debate of whether this is a good idea or a bad one is too large for me to engage with right now, but the point is that presenting a poster paper certainly isn't staying faithful to the (original) "literary" nature of the discipline.

But I'm looking forward to it. Wish me luck as I try to remember what a science poster presentation is supposed to look like!

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Happy Blogversary

Five years.

I don't think I necessarily had any notions of how long this blog would last when I first began, but I probably wouldn't have guessed it would be going five years later.

During the time, many things have changed. Pictures and video are much easier to embed now and the whole Blogger interface has changed. But mostly I think things have stayed the same. I still seem to blog about the same kinds of stuff, maybe I blog a bit more about my dissertation work, but considering its LARGE role in my life, that seems natural.

When I first began, I thought the blog would be a way for friends who were far away to keep up with what was going on in my life, instead of having to write the same email over and over. But it very quickly changed, partly because I realized that the people who I email are not necessarily the same people who read the blog. So as a kind of mass email, it has failed.

But the blog is just the medium, and its purpose (at least for me has changed). One of the things I really have found useful about blogging, particularly as I blog about the dissertation, is that it has taught me how to talk about my academic work in a way that is less formal, and a bit more approachable. Now, before you protest, know that I do recognize that I've still got a long way to go before my writing about the dissertation really becomes approachable, but I'm starting to see differences, and if for nothing else, the blog has been instrumental in making that happen.

So here's to five years - who knows what's yet to come?

Thursday, April 03, 2008

The horror, the horror...

Okay, "horror" is probably too strong a word for it. But the inability of so many people to use language to effectively express themselves is really starting to get to me.

Maybe it's because I'm getting old.

Maybe it's because I'm marking first year composition papers.

Maybe it's because while taking a break from marking first year composition papers I tried reading the letters to the editor section of the newspaper.

Maybe it's because I started reading favorite blogs during another break from marking first year composition papers and came across my buddy Jim's comment that BostonNow is limiting its reader-generated section because
Thankfully, the paper seems to have realized that most people who would blog for free in this situation are either terrible, desperate, or a little crazy, so they've cut down on the amount of space given to re-printing them.
Together, these events have conspired to convince me that the number of people capable of using language to accurately convey a coherent, well thought out argument (about anything!) is drastically falling. And it's not just people who have an excuse. About a third of my class are ESL students, which means they often say things I can't understand, but I do understand why they're having difficulty expressing themselves. Another 10% of my students write like I would expect high school graduates to write.

But it's the other half of the class whose inability to manipulate the language with any dexterity that (collectively) convince me we're in serious trouble. They grew up here, speaking the language since they learned to talk, writing it all through their formal education so far, and yet they could not write an argument to save their lives because they can't grasp simple concepts like "every sentence needs a subject and a verb". They prattle on in their writing like they do when they speak. And although I've yet to see someone type out "you know what I'm sayin'?"*, they're coming real damn close.

It gets really frustrating, because there's just so much that they have not learnt to this point, that even covering the basics would take far more time than I'm allotted to teach them. I'm supposed to be teaching them the higher writing functions, but I feel like I only teach those functions to that 10%. The rest I'm just trying to get caught up. It's exhausting and depressing at the same time.

*the answer to this query is usually "no" since the phrase is used to avoid actually saying what it is that the speaker is convinced he/she is saying.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Big Dog

I've seen a much shorter clip of Big Dog before, but this one shows some really interesting scenarios that the robot works through - hills, ice, being knocked off balance. You might want to play it with the sound off (or down) because Big Dog does make a rather annoying sound while operating.

Big Dog was produced by Boston Dynamics.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Best $30 I ever spent

This week I made an appointment at my old hair salon. I haven't been to it since I moved away five years ago - partly because I was gone, and then once we came back, there was little need since I was wearing my hair long. Not to mention, it's location isn't very convenient.

This week I made an appointment and when I got there said "My hair is a disorganized mess. Make it better" or something along those lines.

I wish I had done this months ago. Although I've lost some of the length I had last week, my hair can't by any stretch of the imagination be called short. My stylist didn't recognize me, but hey, last time I saw her, my hair was about 3" long, so I can understand. But she is just as fabulous with long hair as with short. I cannot believe how different that cut has made me feel!

It isn't just the hair. I look in the mirror and feel like I look younger, more beautiful, happier. I know it's not just the cut, but eliminating the frustration I sometimes felt when it was a couple of inches longer has worked wonders. I never would've thought a haircut could do that, but it did. Amazing!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Sunshine and wine

The sunshine in California was absolutely wonderful! I adored being able to sit out on a patio, drinking wine, having great conversation with good friends, then eating barbecue, more wine, and a tour of some really gorgeous country. Life could be fun if every weekend included a day like that...

I suppose if I really did get my wish, I *could* get bored of it after a while. Not the sunshine or the wine. But I suspect I'd run out of interesting things to say to interesting people.

I guess it's a bit like what my mother told me when I complained that I couldn't have my favourite meal every night. She told me that if I did, it wouldn't be my favourite anymore and I'd get tired of it night after night. What made it special was that it was so rare.

So I suppose a Saturday afternoon in Napa/Sonoma with good friends (and wine) could fall into that category. But I'm also pretty sure that it would take a lot of Saturdays for me to tire of it! Such generous and wonderful friends I have!

Friday, March 21, 2008

San Francisco

Conferencing is going well - We're about half way through the conference, and so far everything that I wanted to do or to see has gone off without a hitch.

I saw my advisor yesterday - gave her a chapter (which she seemed genuinely glad to receive), listened to her paper (fabulous!) and had dinner together with a number of her colleagues, which was fun. I don't quite think of them as my colleagues, but I suppose if I want to joint their ranks soon, I'll have to get used to that!

My paper went off fairly well this morning too. We had a miscellany of papers on the panel, and I wasn't quite sure how they would all fit together, but it turned out that they fit very nice - and that's always a good thing when that happens. I'm moderating a panel later this afternoon, which promises to be a lot of fun as well if the conversations I've been having with people are any indication, so I'm looking forward to that. Here's hoping the rest of the conference comes off without a hitch too!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Sleepy and fat

I'm not surprised by the latest finding that sleep deprivation leads to weight gain. I've always known that when I'm the most tired is when I feel like I just want to eat! And the more tired I am, the more fat I want in what I'm eating. Though I also tend to drink more when I'm sleep deprived. Not intensely tired, just not getting enough sleep.

It makes sense I suppose that when the body hasn't had enough sleep, it needs extra energy during the day and you feel hungrier. Good thing I've been (mostly) getting enough sleep - otherwise I'd be ballooning!

Monday, March 17, 2008

(Un)forgettable

A few weeks ago, a colleague and I were laughing when we figured out that our boss was confusing the two of us. Before we figured it out, we'd both been confused at various times because he would tell one of us something and think the other one knew it. We had a good laugh.

But I don't feel like laughing any more. Today my boss mistook me for someone else! Now there are three of us who he is confusing... or maybe just confusing me with two other people. I've often been mistaken for someone else before, but this strikes me as a tad ridiculous.

I guess I haven't made a good impression, or at least haven't made a memorable one.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

This day in (blog) history

March 13th must be a good blogging day. Since I began this blog, I've written a post each March 13th, so I suppose now is not the time to stop posting...

On March 13, 2007, I wondered what the world needs with another English major. The answer was "a lot!"

On March 13, 2006, I introduced yawp.

On March 13, 2005, I struggled with figuring out what of the mountain of things that needed to get done I would do first. Coincidentally, I'm struggling with the same thing today, except the list of things that HAVE to get done first - the urgentnotimportant - is longer than it was that day.

On March 13, 2004, I celebrated the return of a working computer and the easing of academic requirements for a particular course.

So, what's going on today?

Well, I've got way too much marking to do. We're only in the second week, and I feel a little overwhelmed. Already. I think it's mostly because I didn't get a break between the last term and the start of this new modified term. And I've got to create a podcast for one class next week that I'll be missing for the PCA conference.

At least the conference paper is mostly there. It needs some theory in the middle, and I'll need to trim up the plot descriptions in order to stay under the time limit, but I think it's doing what I want it to - that is, to provoke conversation about the definition of the vampire. At least I hope it will. The conference schedule itself is getting really hectic with meetings, dinners etc., so my down time will be minimal, but if it's at all like other PCA's I've attended, I'll enjoy myself immensely.

The good news is that I think I circumvented the virus that was trying to take me down earlier this week. On Monday I started feeling that heat and itchiness around the eyes that usually signals a cold and on Tuesday, my cheeks (sinuses) started aching too. Today, neither area is feeling any worse, and if I can take good care of my body for the next few days, I may have dodged the worse of the bug. Here's keeping my fingers crossed.

So this March 13th post is pretty boring. But it's not like it's the first time I've posted a boring post. Thanks for suffering through oh my faithful reader.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I have no idea what to title this post

Writing has been very challenging for me lately. I've felt the absence of writing peers desperately lately and could really use some encouragement as I slog through my current phase of writing.

It's not that the writing's bad. It's just that there's so much going on right now that prioritizing is becoming a problem. You know, that feeling when you have so much to do that you don't know where to start? There are just so many things that are "urgent" and "important" or even just "urgent" and "not important".

I really do try to categorize things according to that cross section, where urgent+important gets done first, urgent+notimportant and important+noturgent get done in various combinations next, and noturgent+notimportant get done last. But it's interesting how both noturgent and notimportant can so quickly change into urgent and important when you don't get to them.

Lately,

  • a job application
  • taxes

have been urgent+important

with

  • student marking

always taking up the urgent+notimportant category.

Yes, you heard what I said. My student's writing is not as important as mine. Mine will dictate what kind of job prospects I have. Theirs is loose, casually constructed and sometimes done under duress because they have to take the course. But I am paid to respond to their writing and they need that feedback in order to complete the course in time, so it gets categorized as urgent. But it takes away time from what's really important to me.

I've actually made some progress, but most of it has been of the rearranging/editing kind for the dissertation, so it isn't really growing. Harder to see the progress when you're shuffling things around, though the shuffling is a really good thing. I was trying to pack way too much stuff into my introduction, and by distributing key sections of it to other chapters, I managed to chop its monstrous size in half. Now I can build up the parts that need building without feeling like the introduction's becoming a two headed monster!

But before that oh-so-important task of dissertation editing, I need to finish writing the conference paper for next week. It's about half there, but it's really unstructured right now and needs some form to hold its bagginess together.

The Tomorrow's Professor blog has had some interesting posts on writing lately, particularly about how to unclutter your writing, but I find that much of their advice is to do things I already find myself doing. No help there. Apparently I know what to do, and I'm doing it fairly efficiently. I'm just not doing enough of it. Simple.

Sometimes I think the frustrations I have writing the dissertation are similar to the frustrations dieters or smokers have. I can read all kinds of books, get all kinds of advice, but when it really comes down to it, I just have to write. When you're trying to lose weight or quit smoking, you can spend all the time in the world talking about it or reading about it, but it really comes down to action. If you want to lose weight, burn more calories than you take in. If you want to quit smoking, stop putting cigarettes into your mouth and lighting them.

If you want to write a dissertation, quit whining and start putting words on paper.

There. That's my advice to myself. Do you think I'll take my own advice?

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Being mom

The other day I walked past a storefront at the mall called "The Mom Store" and although I didn't look in, as I walked past, it didn't seem like it was a store for moms per se, but for babies because it was filled with strollers, cribs, toys, bath aids etc. And I found myself thinking what a misnomer the store was - it should've been called "The Baby Store" (though I suspect that name had already been trademarked, hence The Mom Store).

Then this week, I came to the realization that the gradebook I'm using is running out of room and I'll need a new one.

Yes, I know there are online gradebooks, but I prefer to record attendance and grades on the spot in an actual book. And if you're going to accuse me of being a luddite for doing so, you haven't been paying attention to this blog.

My point is, I've been searching for a replacement and every place I look, the only record books I can find have little hearts, or teddy bears, or stars plastered all over them. Ugh! What do high school teachers use? Are you seriously telling me that they ALL just use Excel? Nobody uses paper anymore? In not being able to find a plain record book suitable for adults, I'm a little offended that "teacher" seems to equal "grade-school teacher" only. Just like the "mom" in the store name mentioned above really translates as "woman with a baby".

-----

There have been several times over the last few years... okay, actually, the last couple decades... when I've come across various arguments about being a mother and identity.

Often the article (or more lately, blog post) has been written by a woman who is about to become a mother, or who has recently become one. These writers often worry that their careers will be damaged, that they will talk endlessly of their children (much to the boredom of others around them), or that they will somehow lose their identity.

Their arguments all just feel so disconnected from the reality I live in.

I've been trying to work out why. Am I defective? If everyone else feels their identity is forever changed by having kids, why don't I feel the same way? Did I miss something? Does that make me a bad mother?

The nearest I've been able to figure out is that having children when I was young meant that I skipped over all that worrying about identity and careers and such. Not that I'm advocating having children young. Or advocating not having children young. It's just that I think having children young inherently skips over this question. After all, when you're in your early twenties, you have yet to establish the career that could be potentially damaged by having children. Not having had a career before the kids came along, meant that my worklife post-kids couldn't really be compared to worklife pre-kids since the pre-kids part was so short (and was what I would define as "work" as opposed to "career").

And how do you worry about eroding your "identity" when you've barely begun to develop it yourself? I can see how living as an adult for a decade or more before having children, could make the decision to have children feel like an entire change of identity. I understand those kinds of changes that make you wonder who you will be without ____ [fill in the blank with whatever is relevant] I suppose when you've only been an adult yourself for a few years, becoming a parent gets mixed up a bit with becoming an adult, so that being a parent seems like a natural extension of adulthood. No traumatic change here, just part of the package. Not that mixing up adulthood and parenthood isn't without its (potential) pitfalls, since separating them again after the children grow up could create problems.

I think it's telling that whenever I might try to do so, I have great difficulty imagining myself as not-parent. Some people can remember not being a parent. For me, there never really was an adult me that wasn't a parent - what adult years I had that were childless were short and so close to adolescence that they sometimes don't even seem to be adult. Adulthood and parenthood are really one and the same thing for me - they're synonymous in my vocabulary. Again, not a good/bad thing, just the way it worked out.

All this isn't to say that having children at a young age is a good thing. On the contrary. There are a lot of things that I did the hard(er) way because I was doing them with the kids. For instance, it would've been nice to be an adult student without balancing family life the whole way through. And I know there are things that more financial stability (which older parents usually have) would've provided my children that they didn't get. Then again, we simply lived the lives of a family living at or below the poverty line. There were plenty of other people in that boat with us, both with and without kids.

So it's not a matter of good or bad, just that for me, I never experienced an identity crisis in becoming a mom. But I do feel like we generally forget that "mom" isn't a cookie-cutter label. It isn't just "woman with a baby" or "woman who gives up career" or "soccer mom" or any of the other labels we so easily slap on it. I'm still a mom even after my kids can get their own breakfast (ah! sleeping in again on the weekend), dress themselves, drive a car, fall in love, live with their boyfried, have kids of their own etc.... It never ends. My mom is not only a grandmother but still a mother as well.

So why do I feel like I'm being pushed out of the category of "mother" now that mine are growing up? If there's an identity crisis here, it will be learning to be an adult without being viewed by society as a mother at the same time.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Articulating a teaching philosophy

I've been trying to write a teaching philosophy over the past few days. It's an interesting exercise fraught with what seem like numerous pitfalls. Advice ranges all over the place and the lists of "do's" and "don'ts" seems endless. I've decided the only real solution is to focus on what I do and let the advice go its own way.

But when I think about how I teach and why I teach the way I do, I find that my teaching philosophy seems to be a result of negotiating between contradictions.

On the one hand, it's important for students to see the relevance of what they do in the classroom to their lives.
On the other hand, they need to learn basic terms, ideas, and critical habits whether or not they're "relevant" to their lives.

On the one hand, post-secondary students are adults.
On the other hand, especially junior post-secondary students are not experts in the conventions of their field or the academy and they need to be taught the behaviours expected within the post-secondary educational setting.

On the one hand, I am not an entertainer.
On the other hand, I need to gain and keep the attention of my students if they are to learn what I am trying to teach them.

On the one hand, I am the one expert in the room.
On the other hand, collaboration with peers can be a powerful way of learning.

On the one hand, students need to know how to use available technology in order to succeed in their fields.
On the other hand, I need to use the best tool available to convey an idea, even it its one of the simplest tools available (like say a pen and piece of paper).

On the one hand, course objectives are there to set ou the minimum expectations for everyone in the class to achieve.
On the other hand, each student comes into the class with their own strengths, experiences, weaknesses, and goals, and I need to be able to recognize and respond to those differences.

On the one hand, the semester is very short.
On the other hand, what I teach can last a lifetime.

See what I mean? The way I teach and the reasons that I teach the way I do seem to arise out of these conflicts. I use technology, but only when I think it will be the best way to convey information or to facilitate learning. For example, I've always like to teach film. But films are between 1 1/2 and 2 hours long usually, and unless you have a three hour time block, it's difficult to show a film in its entirety in one session and then have a significant discussion about it. But showing a film and then discussing it several days later also tends to be less dynamic because the students don't have the experience of watching it immediate to mind. But the last time I taught a film, I required the students to log onto a threaded discussion and continue discussing a film we watched earlier that day, which provided an immediacy that you can't get by waiting for the next class meeting and generated a good conversation. In this case, the technology is a tool that helps me provide the students with a richer learning environment.

But at the same time, I also often use a comprehension exercise with my students that requires them to graphically represent one of the readings they've done. I supply the markers and colored paper - they supply the interpretation. It's simple, but students regularly tell me that having to visually represent a written text helps them understand the text better.

So where do I stand on technology in the classroom? Well, it's nice to have (when it works!) but it isn't the solution to every pedagogical problem.

So what do I write in the teaching philosophy about technology? I suppose I'll just have to say "it depends". But I think the tension produced by all these conflicting ideals is what produces my explanation of how I teach and why I teach the way I do.

It just seems unsatisfying to say that my teaching philosophy emerges out of contradictory impulses.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Church Bulletins

Thank God for the Church ladies who type them. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning:
"Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight:
"Searching for Jesus."
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery down stairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, wuper entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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The Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours”

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Out of control

Stress is most often caused by a person's feeling that they are not in control of the events in their life.

I am currently struggling mightily to re-gain control of my life from people who have taken it, while simultaneously letting go of the things that I can so that I don't feel like I'm out of control.

It's not easy.

I've been having troubles with a particular company that holds one of my student loans (okay, actually two - that's where the problem lies). They have in general been uncommunicative, and have lost at least two key forms over the last couple of years. This has created problems. I have had to solve these problems.

Their latest communication with me was to indicate they had sent one of my loans to collections. This was a big surprise to me, since I had been paying the loan regularly over the last year. I suspect this might surprise any other person in my position.

I made many phone calls to many different departments. I even went to my local office. Near as I can figure out, they sent the 2 payments I was making on 2 accounts to only 1 account. So even though I have receipts saying I've paid into both accounts, they think I've only been paying one account. The other account of course became delinquent.

Now, a reasonable person would think "Oh, that was a mistake. This customer was making double payments on one account and no payments on the other. That makes no sense. And this customer says she was paying both accounts. So we made a mistake. We'll fix it".

Nope.

No one who I have talked to has been willing to take responsibility for making this mistake. No one. So I have had to request a formal investigation be launched. Meanwhile, a credit agency is calling trying to collect on the account it has been forwarded.

Right now, I've done all that I can. All I can do is hope the "investigation" department isn't just a whitewash department. But I'm not holding my breath. At this point, I've received nothing but belligerance from the responsible department, which doesn't inspire confidence that their "investigation" people will be, what shall we call it,... human?

I'm experiencing a tenuous peace about the whole process. After all, I've now done all I can, and the results lie in someone else's hands. But it is tenuous at best.

But just after I launched the claim, I ran into another autonomy-stripping event.

The school I teach at uses an LMS for course management, as do most post-secondary (and even some secondary) schools. [LMS stands for "learning management system" and in its most simple form is a web portal that allows teachers and students to exchange files, post content, and manage grades] This term I'm switching from teaching full semesters to condensed ones, which means the courses are also switching from fully face to face to hybrid - half online/half classroom.

I like the idea of hybrid classes. I've always enjoyed teaching them, and one of the things that I find difficult in the online work that I do is that there is no face to face interaction to supplement it. So I've actually been looking forward to delivering these hybrid courses.

With the changeover, there's no break between terms though. I proctor my last exam Friday morning and distribute the syllabus for a new class on Monday morning. So being human, I worked hard to clear the exam week of any additional duties other than exams. In other words, for the new courses, I translated all the course content to hybrid format, created a coursepak, and wrote the syllabi and schedules all last week.

Foolish me.

I created all this material and uploaded it into the generic "inventory" shell for the course. We keep inventory shells so that you don't have to roll over the course in the next term, instead you just reload the inventory shell for a new class.

Unbeknownst to me, the powers that be decided I needed the content for the online version of the course (not the hybrid one I'm set to teach) and replaced my inventory shell with the online one.

Poof! There goes all my advanced preparation.

My first thought was "WTF!?!" Followed by "?Am I supposed to use this stuff instead?" Followed by "Is there anything useful here I can pilfer use as I erase all this content I don't want and RE-upload my stuff?" (btw: the answer is pretty much "no")

So now I'm erasing all that stuff that isn't useful but is in my course on the LMS, while having to re-load all the stuff I do want there.

To top it off, I have no control over access to the site, so 2 students have already sent confused emails saying they can't find the textbook listed on the site (you know, the online one, not the one I selected AND ordered) in the bookstore.

It's gonna be a long semester...

First IT Professional

Saturday, February 23, 2008

In Bruges

Sometimes the trailer of a movie just doesn't really do it justice. Sometimes this is because the trailer consists entirely of the good parts of the movie, leading you to think (erroneously) there are more good parts in the whole thing. Sometimes it's because the trailer seems to be for a different movie than the one that is actually made. Sometimes it's because the trailer works so hard at not giving anything away that it actually tells you nothing at all.

The trailer for In Bruges doesn't give anything away - which is good - but it also highlights only a small part of the film. That small part captures the characters in the film very well. But it doesn't capture the delightful black comedy that that the film consists of.

I went to see the film because of Brendan Gleeson and Colin Ferrell. And they were great. But the film itself is more than just a couple of great acting performances. It has you laughing and gasping in horror at your laughter, and then just somberly contemplating the horror, then laughing again. It's an intelligent film with realistic and witty dialogue, but it's the nonverbal acting abilities of its characters that carry it beyond just witty to a truly fascinating film. It's not the most intelligent film I've ever seen, and there are some scenes that left me feeling a bit hollow. But it was definitely worth the price of the ticket (not like Jumper last week that was a slick, swiss cheese plotted affair).

But don't go see it if you don' like black humour.

And don't go see it if you're American and are easily insulted (not that the Canadians fare any better - in fact, I think they come off as much less savory characters than the Americans, but they're at least taken seriously).

Monday, February 18, 2008

Blood sucking creatures

My reading over the last several days has consisted of vampire lore and theory. It's been productive, and even impressed one of my daughters who had trouble believing that I was actually studying vampires.

You might remember my question last month about what constitutes a vampire and the excellent responses I got. I was asking the question because I have a conference paper to deliver next month on vampires and posthumans. The argument I will be making is that essentially their similarities outweigh their differences and that vampires haven't cornered the market on the biological need for blood in order to reproduce.

I'm still working through the argument, which I now realize is going to be far more complex than a 15 minute conference presentation is really designed to handle. I suspect I'll end up with a seminar length paper that will have to be chopped in half to make it work.

One of the books I read - Blood Obsessions - makes an interesting argument that the serial killer and the vampire perform similar literary functions. The repetitive nature of the vampire's continuous need to feed and the serial killer's continuous need to kill are cyclical in nature and represent the Freudian 'compulsion to repeat'. Usually I'm not big on Freudian theory, at least as it is applied to literature, but I do find the argument that the serial killer and the vampire are figures performing similar functions quite compelling. I would suggest that instead of Freud's compulsion to repeat though, that the compelling nature of the two figures lies in their unhuman activities. Not only do both undertake activities not considered human(e), but they both also represent the threat that any human might become one of them - either through the bite, or through trauma, bad genes, atavism, or whatever other reason one might use to explain the production of serial killers.

Not that I'll be talking serial killers in the paper, but posthumans do tend to embody a similar threat to the human - that any human might become one of them and that they are unhuman in their activities. In that way, the posthuman challenges the vampire on its own turf, threatening to become the monster-du-jour and displace the vampire from that position.

Or at least that's the argument.

Not that you really wanted to know, but I need to start writing out the argument to work it out - as you can tell, it's pretty sketchy at this point.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Tired and wired

I just got an email from the tech people at an organization I'm a member of saying essentially "we had problems with our internet connection this morning, but now it's fixed. If you continue to have problems, please contact us"

An email.

And I thought my brain was scrambled from the weekend!

Last week was busy as I prepared to go to Boston for our second annual! grad conference. The weather last week was great, as is the weather this week, but on Friday, as I was preparing to leave, a storm blew in. It didn't seem like that bad a storm, and when I got to the airport, my flight was listed as delayed by only 15 minutes. No problem. I had two hours to connect in Toronto.

Two hours later, we finally lifted off, and even though the pilots made up time in the air, we got to TO airport with only a half hour to spare. I would've made the connection too if customs hadn't decided to close five minutes early that night. Yep, I missed my connection because the border closes at 9 pm in Toronto.

So I spent a mostly sleepless night on the Toronto airport floor. But I arrived in Boston about 45 minutes before the conference began, so at least I made it.

Travelling always tires me out, but spending the night in an airport really did me in. In my twenties, it would've been no problem. Even through most of my thirties I think it wouldn't have been a problem. But this time, it killed me.

I think I finally caught up on sleep last night!

Good news is that my paper went over quite well, and I had some great questions, which is always a lot of fun. And I got to have dinner with friends who I hadn't seen for a very long time. I have some really wonderful friends who helped out by adjusting their schedules to my wacky travel schedule and by driving me places. You know who you are and I appreciate it!

The icing on the cake? When I walked into Logan Sunday morning to come home, the first thing I see is that my flight has been cancelled! I thought I was in for the whole rigamarole all over again and was tempted to scream. Luckily they found a way to get me where I needed to go so I still got home at a decent time so that I could crawl into bed and finally sleep!

Monday, February 04, 2008

Hi, ho, the merry-o, a conferencing we will go

This conference is probably the worst timing possible! But of course I can't really complain since I was part of the committee when we set the date. For someone on a regular semester system, it's probably absolutely ideal. But with our wacky term schedule, we're in crunch mode.

In two writing classes, there was an assignment due this last week and 1/5 of each class just hasn't turned it in. I really gotta wonder what they're thinking, since the drop date has passed and they're stuck in the course now.... It's really hard as the conscientious-student-type to understand what other students are thinking of when they do stuff like this.

Good news is my conference paper is all there - in fact it's too much there. I need to trim at least 3, ideally 4 minutes off of it. I've trimmed it down considerably to this point, but it's still over the time limit. Problem is, I may have to fundamentally change (damage?) the argument to squeeze it into the time limit.

The other option to decrease speaking time might be to create a powerpoint to go with it. I can offload some of the explanation to visual images instead, you know, a picture's worth a thousand words and so on. But that will require probably more time than I have. I can imagine how a powerpoint would look, it's just that storyboarding it, finding images, designing slides, and timing it would probably take more time than I can afford. If I did it, I'd want to do it right after all...

Ah, well. The end of the week will come whether I'm ready or not, and the conference paper will get delivered one way or the other. I just wish I had an extra day to work on it. *sigh*

Sunday, February 03, 2008

New rules for living

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA :
1. Bring your own house.
2. If you are going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school, and hospital.
3. If you are going to Edmonton, wear your flak jacket. This is the murder capital of Canada .
4. If you are driving to Edmonton , note that it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
5. If you are bringing drugs, head straight to Fort McMurray, the drug capital of Canada ..
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is $5.60 per hour.
7. If you work downtown, note that parking costs $5.00 per hour or more.
8. If you are able to buy a house in Edmonton or Calgary , why not spend the money on a 15 year holiday.
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. Alberta has the highest gas prices in Canada [The Alberta Advantage].
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come here sick.
11. In Calgary the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12 years ago. Calgary is a no parking zone.


NEW CALGARY RULES OF THE ROAD:
1. You must first learn to pronounce the name correctly -- it is: "CAL-GREE". The second 'A' is redundant.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning and ends on Saturday night.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the Deerfoot 500, you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a landing at the airport. Anything less is considered "Wussy".
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Calgary now has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, Calgary , SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Calgary . . . Detour barrels are moved around each night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and more new construction starts everyday.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage, squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
9. In Calgary, 16th Avenue, TransCanada, and "Hwy #1" are all the same road.
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 kph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly.
If you return the flip, you will be shot.
12. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candles and blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Writing sucks

No, I'm not going on a rant about the dissertation - it's actually progressing along fairly well, given my heavy work schedule.

Perhaps a more accurate title would be that teaching writing sucks. Evaluating student progress in a writing intensive course - like composition - involves great amounts of time. Marking student papers by making useful comments on them, providing suggestions for improvement and solutions to problems just feels really overwhelming sometimes. It takes so very long. It's one of the downsides of teaching in a discipline that emphasizes writing.

I've come to this realization because of the course I took over last week. It's a psychology course - yes, it's a bit of a stretch for me, but I have studied the discipline, so most of my challenge is remembering what I studied many years ago.

The instructor for whom I'm taking over had scheduled 2 quizzes over the next several weeks, and I've been writing the first one. It's a nice change of pace from designing writing assignments. In fact, it's quite enjoyable making up the wrong answers for the multiple choice! Some of them are quite sneaky, while for others, I've thrown in options that are way out in left field. I'm intensely curious to know how well the students will perform on it, and whether the questions will trip up any who don't know the material well enough.

I'm sure that writing quizzes eventually gets quite dull. And there's probably an art to it that I'm missing the finer points of, but overall, I'm having a great time!

Top that off with the fact that the marking will be a breeze, and you can see why I'm loving it. Too bad it's just a one semester experiment...

Monday, January 28, 2008

How to know the weather is messed up

You know the weather is messed up when you head to work in -30 degree weather and actually think to yourself "oh, it's nicer this afternoon" as you walk out after work into -26 degrees!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Emergency backup

I've never thought of academia as a high turnover industry.

But twice in the last year and a half I've been asked to take over partway through a semester for an instructor who's left.

What I'm wondering is: Is this a fairly common occurence? Or is it just coincidence?

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Emerging back into the light

Whew! Busy, ugly week it has been.

Last weekend's getaway was absolutely lovely, thanks for asking!

Technological gliches have been solved by restoring my system to last working settings and tossing disk of offensive software into file 13. But man! was that a pain in the ass while I was struggling with it!

Draft of dissertation introduction is fully complete! Yeah! Now I can move to finishing off the other two chapters that are mostly complete, and then move into the second half of this monstrous beast. Feels good to finish up a piece.

But I also haven't sent it to my supervisor yet. She's waiting for it. I'm just chicken. Don't know why. I'm actually pretty happy with it (for a draft). But I'm afraid to send it off nonetheless. I'm always nervous about sharing my academic work though, even after several conferences, the dissertation writing group, and other venues. Not quite sure why. I've given myself till Monday to send the draft though - no delaying past that point. Maybe I'll read through it again before then and feel better about it!

Still not much interesting happening in life though.

We're finally getting snow, which the kids are loving. They've been out on the hill behind our house all day. They're fun to watch. At one point this afternoon, there were four of them, just lying in the snow at the bottom of the hill. Don't know what they were doing - they were just lying there. I actually spent time watching because I thought at first maybe one of them was hurt. But no. They were just hanging out in the snow. Can't remember the last time I just hung out in the snow.

Was almost late on Friday because of snow. Left early but still walked into the class at 9:02. Only half of the students were there though, so it wasn't a big deal. Ozzie's "Crazy Train" coming on the radio during the drive seemed really appropriate.

Got to thinking during the commute about how different my car is to drive. I wouldn't let a new driver try to manage it on snowy roads. It's not that it handles badly. I'm actually surprised how well it handles given its light weight and small tires.

But it does require a different kind of attention to driving. For example, when downshifting in snow, the slightly reduced traction, means that the swift shifting that the clutchless transmission does can make you slip a bit if you aren't applying the gas. Never had that happen in an automatic, nor in a standard, whose gear engagement you can control more. Means I have to avoid downshifting (not a problem since it does it automatically when I don't) or just be applying a bit of gas when I do (which actually gives me better traction than just braking and letting the car shift for me). So a very different kind of driving. I feel like I have more control over the car, but I also have to be just a bit more conscious about what the motor and transmission are doing at any given moment.

Still wouldn't trade the car in. Am still waiting for my eco-rebate though. They're apparently backed up by several months on processing all the applications. Will be nice to get 2 grand on top of all the fuel savings when it comes!

Hopefully interesting things happen soon worth blogging about! Or the dissertation meter will shoot way up! or both!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Bad blogger

Sparse blogging causes:

technological glitches
absolute immersion in the dissertation project
intense new teaching schedule
weekend getaway with hubby
lack of anything interesting/worth sharing going on in life... or head!


So there you have it. No real excuse, just stuff getting in the way.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

What's wrong with this picture?

I've been doing some quick reading about business forecasts around the emergent technologies that my dissertation is dealing with - artificial intelligence, robotics, genetic manipulation etc. Most of the futurists agree that even before the "information age" that we're currently in is finished, we will be/are entering into the "molecular age" where nanotechnology and biotechnology will change our lives significantly.

One of the sources I've been looking at Technofutures by James Canton, is a bit old already, but it looks far enough into the future that much of what he describes hasn't happened... at least not yet.

But it struck me as I read many of the "scenarios" that he presents depicting life in our ever increasingly technological future, that they really don't seem much different from our present - depressingly so in some cases. Perhaps this one is so depressing because Sarah sounds too much like me.

An abridged example:
Sarah Buys a New Car

Sarah hates to shop. She is raising three kids, went back to school for her third degree, and she doesn't have the time to haggle with car salesmen. So she contacted her Know-Broker, Sammy.... Know-brokers are Net middlemen. They keep an active knowledge network of who has the best products and services for their customers....

"Sammy gets the job done for me. I need it, he finds it," says Sarah to her son Brad. She is sitting on the front porch with her youngest son watching the early dusk come up on a beautiful Montana sky.

Turning back to the video screen on her wireless phone where Sammy is waiting, Sarah explains what she wants....

Sammy replies "I have ten trucks you can choose from in virtual inventory. Let me download the vid-files now with all the data"...

"Looks good, I like the prices... How about financing and pickup options?" Sarah inquires....

"Already done, financing approval coming in now. I need your digital finger signature. License and plates will be ready in 24 hours. Registration is happening now. How about we devlier to you by Thursday, no extra charge?"

"What took you so long, I got supper to cook. Sammy, you are amazing."

"Thanks, I'll vid mail all the digital ownership files to you by morning. Enjoy you new pickup, Sarah."

"Can you imagine the hassle of dealing with driving out to the different dealers? All the time that would take? And how would I ever know I got the best deal?" Sarah says to her son. "Now let's see about that dinner."

Leaving aside the fact that services like "Sammy" already exist (though they are usually people, not automated bots), what depresses me in this vision of the future is that "Sarah", mother of three, triple-degree earner, is still worrying about what to make for dinner! Where are the technological innovations for that?!

Saturday, January 05, 2008

When is a vampire not a vampire?

If you were asked to define "vampire" what would be the defining features? It's a question I'm trying to answer for a conference paper I'll be delivering. There have been so many vampire movies and books written, each of which characterize the vampire in a slightly different way.

But if we look at the corpus as a whole, what are the characteristics most frequently seen?

Friday, January 04, 2008

Drug of choice

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist
about Tequila.

Tequila is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident
about yourself and your actions. Tequila can help ease you out of your
shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do
just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Tequila almost immediately, and with a
regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent
you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, (well shyness
anyway) and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila.

Tequila may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or
nursing should not use Tequila. However, women who wouldn't mind
nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration,
erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of
money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,
headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and
play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked
Twister.

Tequila. Leave Shyness Behind.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

There's something catchy about the song...

Its cold outside,
There's no kind of atmosphere,
I'm all alone,
More or less.
Let me fly,
Far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun,
In the sun, sun, sun.

I want to lie,
Shipwrecked and comatose,
Drinking fresh,
Mango juice,
Goldfish shoals,
Nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun,
In the sun, sun, sun,
Fun, fun, fun,
In the sun, sun, sun.

... and I've got about 30 hours of it available to watch now!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

No books????

According to the paper this morning, almost 1/3 of Canadians did not read a book last year.

For someone like me, that's almost unthinkable. Not that I read a lot of books for pleasure last year - I'm actually below the average for those 2/3 who did read for pleasure last year.

Despite 1/3 of the population never reading, the 2/3 that did, did so quite voraciously, consuming an average of 20 books each in the year. But why is there such a sharp division between readers and non-readers? It seems C.P. Snow's "Two Cultures" could be updated for the twenty-first century, but instead of a divide between the sciences and the humanities, it's a divide between those who read and those who don't.

Several members of that 31% that didn't read a single book are enrolled in my composition class, and I suppose the one thing that statistic does is make me realize my students' admission they don't read for pleasure isn't an abberation, but just to be expected. Thing is, I have a couple of family members who don't like reading for pleasure who I know have finished at least one book that they didn't have to read last year. So what's the difference between them and those hordes of other people who didn't read a single book?

I don't have an answer for that. Part of me says that's okay, because that's not my world. But then again, if I'm to teach people who never read for pleasure, I might understand them better if I could answer that question. Something to puzzle over at least.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy New Year!

I wish everyone a happy new year! May all the things that you wish for this year come to you and may you find whatever it is that you seek for 2008.

Monday, December 31, 2007

Resolutions

I have mixed feelings about New Year's resolutions. Sometimes I think they're just hype. Other times, I think they are useful ways to consider where you want your life to be going. It's just the getting there that's hard.

For example, I probably made a New Year's resolution to quit smoking a dozen times during my life as a smoker. It never worked. That is, it never worked until the year I made the resolution to quite smoking not on January 1st, but sometime that year. It was April by the time I did it, but it worked.

I've also had some other rather remarkable successes with New Year's resolutions.


On the other hand, of the resolutions I made last year, I only accomplished one of the four. The resolutions were (in no particular order):
1. visit a new restaurant or coffee shop every month
2. finish the novel I've begun
3. run a half marathon
4. read or think about the dissertation at least 15 minutes everyday.

I only really accomplished number 1, and really, it wasn't a terribly hard thing to do - I really only made it a resolution because I wanted to explore the new places in the city.

Number 2 and 3 didn't get completed at all. I had to shelve the half marathon because of injury, which I suppose can't be helped, and I was making good progress until I was forced to stop. I may put it on the list again. I'm a little leery of it because the injury, so we'll see. But the novel? It's not like it actually requires a lot of work. It's 80% complete. It's just that last year I didn't write a single additional page. Why is that? I know I tell myself it's because I've been busy - and I have - but there's gotta be more to it that that because I could've made the time. I'll have to keep pondering that one.

Only number 4 was came really close to being accomplished, especially if I cut myself slack and make it 15 minutes every week day. Then I pretty much accomplished that every day except for perhaps August when we were moving. I've made really good progress on the dissertation, and I really enjoy working on it, so the goal behind the resolution - to pick up my progress on the dissertation - was definitely met.

So now I'm left with wondering if there's anything I want to put on a list for this year. Right now, I'm not certain I want to make any resolutions. Can you still call them New Year's resolutions if it takes you till February to articulate them?

Friday, December 28, 2007

Is elearning really better?

For someone who works in elearning, I realize this might be a career-threatening question to ask, but it's not that I'm questioning the value of technology in learning, but that I'm struggling with the social and cultural values around technology and learning.

One of my tasks this week is to create the schedules for two hybrid courses I'll be teaching next week. The syllabi are ready, but I'm struggling with the schedules still. I know my learning objectives, and I know what results I want.

What I'm struggling with is what combinations of online and face to face (f2f) activities will be accomplish those objectives and produce the desired results.

Part of the problem is just scheduling. One of the hybrid courses meets only once a week, which means we've got 4 hours f2f then a stretch of a week of nothing but online. The students will mostly be first term students as well, which will mean they'll need LOTS of hand holding to adjust to this kind of class. But even for the course that meets twice a week f2f, the schedule is still less than ideal.

What would be ideal?

A schedule where we meet for about 6 hours a week f2f and 2 hours online for the first half of the course, then 3 hours a week and 5 online for the second half would be ideal. But I've yet to hear of a post-secondary institution with such flexible scheduling.

If I had a schedule like that, we could concentrate on learning the basics, practicing them in the lab, learning to collaborate within groups and as a whole class, then I could send them off to practice what they've learnt mostly on their own. That would fit the objectives of the course nicely, and it also follows the progression that writing naturally undergoes as well. Brainstorming is a mostly collaborative affair (even if the "collaboration" exists primarily in preliminary research, not discussion), and writing a mostly solitary one. So lots of f2f at first, followed by less direct contact and more remote, online contact as support for the writing would be ideal.

[At first I was going to write that the schedule would be unique to writing courses, but then I realized that might not be the case. Perhaps it would also be ideally suited for the teaching of science, or communication studies, or even engineering. I was going to say that teaching writing is more holistic and harder to divide into discrete units, but then thinking of my own science degree, I sometimes wonder if I might have had better insight into the discipline as a whole if all my classes weren't divided into distinct units, with testing and evaluation at the end of each of them. It made each topic seem so discrete from the others. Perhaps the scheduling of those courses could also do with some flexibility!]

Since I won't get my wish for needs-based scheduling, and will have to meet regularly online and f2f, I'll have to adapt the course. But that desire got me thinking about elearning in general.

There are a few things that I think I can state with relative certainty.

1. elearning has been around long enough that most educators are familiar with the concept. Early adopters still continue to push the envelope, but most post-secondary institutions and instructors (and a good number of primary and secondary school boards) are using at least some technology to "enhance" learning.

2. most educators did not experience elearning in their own education, and if they did, it was in its very early stages (I realize this is not universal, but note that I said "most") so it is sometimes a challenge to understand the learner's experience.

3. learners (particularly post-secondary learners) are generally familiar with at least some of the elearning technologies they will encounter in the classroom, so that as a designer of elearning and blended/hybrid courses, you can count on most of your students/users familiarity with some of the basics.

4. elearning has changed so rapidly that there is little long-term research on the effectiveness of various technological solutions to educational problems, although most educators and designers would seem to feel that at least some technology has made the job of teaching (or the administration behind it) easier.

Perhaps you might challenge some of these assumptions, but they are based on my observations both in post-secondary classroom settings, and in the corporate elearning environment.

But the title of this post asked if elearning is really better because I have some doubts about it.

To be honest, my doubt does not arise from some kind of anxiety about technology itself. I think as a tool, technology provides us with a means to produce effective learning. What I do have reservations about is that in adopting technological methods to try to deliver learning, we are adapting our teaching to the technology rather than using the technology to aid our teaching.

I'll try to explain by describing a few experiences over the last few weeks that have got me wondering about it all.

A few weeks ago, I assigned an essay to my students. It's a challenging essay, but I've taught it before, and when students are prepared for the challenge, encouraged to undertake it, and then supported in the classroom through their questions about it, then generally perform fairly well. Not this time. This time, even with extra support and time, the students disengaged. They thought the essay too long. They thought it "irrelevant" to their lives. They didn't like that they had to look up some of the words they didn't understand (or they didn't even bother and just ignored their ignorance). They complained en masse about the length of the assignment. As I'm working on the schedule for this term, this complaint is on my mind and I'm trying to decide whether to use the essay again.

A week after this, two of my students bragged to me that they hadn't read a book since high school. Another one told me that even in high school he hadn't read a book - he would just read the back cover when required to write about it!

Also a few weeks ago, I watched this video over at Phendrana Drifts, which began to worry me. The students in the video seem to justify their non-reading of course material by pointing to how much time they spend on Facebook or their cell phones. The argument seems to be equating reading a textbook with reading a social networking page. Call me old fashioned, but I think the cognitive engagement involved in reading a textbook is qualitatively different than what is involved in reading a Facebook funwall.

Then a few days ago during a family discussion, my children told me that their friends think they use big words. They also said this is because I use big words at home, and that being surrounded by a large vocabulary it became natural for them to adopt the same.

I object. I don't use big words. I don't use a big word just to sound more intelligent than I am - but I will use a less than common word if I think that it more accurately represents what I want to say. I am a bit particular in that way.

But the discussion got me thinking about vocabulary and how one acquires it. I never spent time reading a dictionary to learn the words I know. Sure, I've looked up a few words in my time, but mostly I acquired vocabulary from reading and discerning through context what a word meant. Usually multiple contexts. I surrounded myself with language, and it became second nature to me to use the language that I've read.

A light dawned then. Although I've known for a long time that good writers are also readers, I'd always had a bit of a suspicion that at least some of my students wrote so horribly (and inimaginatively!) because they just didn't want to try. It really hit home during that discussion that they just don't have big enough vocabularies to actually write accurately. They just don't know enough different words to be able to express themselves, or describe things, accurately.

So maybe you can see what I'm thinking now. For myself, I know that the sustained effort of reading books, including long ones, and reading many of them, has trained me how to read long pieces of writing and has given me a large enough vocabulary to be able to understand most of what I read. If my students have read only a handful of books in their lives, and their only current reading consists of magazines and webpages, then when will they have had the opportunity to learn how to maintain interest in a longer piece of writing or to even understand enough of the words in it to know what they all mean?

The problem with elearning is that it encourages this kind of superficial engagement with the material in the course. This isn't to say that it isn't possible to create elearning opportunities that go beyond just the superficial, just that the association between online and superficial is strong.

For learners/users who are accustomed to short, pithy online writing like they find in email, instant messaging and social networking sites, this kind of superficial writing becomes associated with the medium in which they view it. So they come to expect everything online will be a sound bite, a short, focused piece of writing, or that it won't contain any big words. When confronted with writing online that requires a sustained, thought-provoking engagement with the material, how are they then to respond? There is a good chance they will respond by rejecting the material, because it involves a level of concentration and attention they are not accustomed to giving to online content.

All this makes me think that there is a real value to the old fashioned book. Books require discipline to sit down for extended periods of time, focusing your attention on only one thing. I realize that many of my students can focus their attention on only one thing for a long period of time - I do have plenty of gamers in my classroom. But there's a difference in cognitive engagement with a book, which requires active imagination of the action taking place, and the reaction to a video game, isn't there? I realize many games require active participation - more so than say television watching - but they still are passive at a certain level, aren't they? Even if the cognitive activity of gaming is equal to that of the book, things like vocabulary development are still absent.

But even if we don't bring back the book as the standard text for education, as an educator and elearning designer, I think it's important to work to create that kind of discipline in students. In corporate elearning, the sound bite works, but that's because elearning is a secondary layer of education that always pre-supposes a more formal layer of education in the form of a degree, or training. eLearning in the corporate world is usually for upgrading or skills maintenance. But in that first degree, the one post-secondary students (and even secondary students) are pursuing, one of the skills they will need to develop is the ability to stick with a project for an extended period of time.

The challenge, at least for me, will be to develop the depth of understanding that students need while at the same time using the technological tools at my disposal to do it. Part of the challenge will be re-training students to understand that just because it's online, doesn't mean that it won't be hard and they won't have to work at it. Shifting students' mindset from online = superficial to online = just another medium is a challenge I think those of us who work in elearning have to manage in order for the technology to really make a difference in how we teach. The difficulties of meeting this challenge is part of the reason why I question a wholesale embrace of elearning in the classroom. Without understanding the nature of the medium, it would be far to easy to dumb things down to the level students come to expect from online instead of challenging them to reach the levels of complexity the content requires.

I've run across an analogy a couple of times that is usually used to demonstrate the need for technology in education. The analogy compares surgery and education. A surgeon of 100 years ago brought into a modern surgery would not be able to perform surgery because so much has changed, while a teacher from 100 years ago would be able to teach in a modern classroom (aside from lacking knowledge of what's happened in the last century). In other words, the practice of surgery has radically changed, but the practice of teaching has not. This story is usually used to demonstrate how teaching needs to get on the technology bandwagon and upgrade itself.

But I have to wonder. Is the practice of teaching mostly the same as it was 100 years ago because it works? Is this a case of "if it's not broke, don't fix it"? Surgical survival rates are higher now, which demonstrates the success of the changes in surgical practice. But is teaching the same because we've already figured out a good way to do it? After all, by most measures we're smarter, more literate, and better educated today than we were 100 years ago. We must be doing something right, mustn't we? Is elearning just a case of unnecessary messing with something we already do well?

Friday, December 21, 2007

Just an average Joe... or Stephen

Today after work I had one last stop to make aside from groceries. I stopped into my local Chapters bookstore, which was packed with people, though the helpful salesclerk who directed me to what I was looking for told me it was actually quiet!

As I approached the long line at the cash register, I noticed a security man next to the line. He wasn't wearing a uniform, but those distinctive ear pieces are a dead give away. I found myself wondering what had recently happened in the store that they'd decided to hire security. I'd been a regular at this store for many years before we'd moved away, and had never seen a security guard there before. I assumed it had something to do with the holiday rush.

As I stood in line, I saw a gentleman leaving the tellers, far ahead of where I was, and thought, "he looks familiar" and then a second later, "he looks like Stephen Harper." Then it dawned on me. It was Stephen Harper.

Two thoughts flashed through my mind in rapid succession. The first was curiosity. What's in his bag? What kind of books does the Prime Minister read? (Then I realized peeking in his bag wouldn't do any good because it was probably a gift.)

The second was a sense of approval. Some of it was for the man, but only a bit, since I don't agree with a lot of his policies; mostly it was a kind of sense of inclusiveness, a bit of homegrown pride, and a touch of admiration. I live in a country where the leader of my nation does his own Christmas shopping! I think that's pretty cool. Sure, he was surrounded by three men in dark coats and another in a plain suit who I assume was some assistant (I'd finally noticed the other security men when I'd realized the Prime Minister was in the checkout line with me). But at the same time, he was making his own purchase. And when a woman stopped him to ask if she could introduce her daughter to him, he stopped and chatted a moment before leaving the store.

Just another one of us poor, benighted souls trying to squeeze in a little last minute shopping... there's a kind of humility there that I can't help but admire. But then I realized, while he might be fighting the last minute shoppers, at least he has an entourage that can help clear the way! Not like the rest of us...

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Feathered Fan

Walter must be fairly impressed with the Flames' 6 road-trip win record...

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Posts begun and not completed

By the looks of this blog, there's been no activity. But that's not true. I've begun many posts. They just don't get completed. Sometimes they haven't even gone beyond the boundaries of my brain! They've been started; just not completed.

It's not that I don't have anything to say - I certainly do! It's just that I've got so many other demands on my time right now I can't seem to get any posts finished. Perhaps all those drafts will get completed at the beginning of the year....

I will say I was disappointed by the end of I Am Legend. They made it a Hollywood ending, and their explanation of the "legend" was lame, tacked on as if it was an after-thought. I went back and flipped through the ending in the book because I thought perhaps I was being unrealistic in thinking they could've filmed that ending. But no. I can clearly see how they could've translated the book's ending - far superior - to the screen. Someone just chose not to. Disappointing.

Last week I hated my students. This week I love them. It might have something to do with having a lot of marking to do last week. Too much marking. But if you've ever taught, you know what I'm talking about... and even if you haven't, you know what parts of your job you hate. Yep, that's where I was last week.

Holiday preparations are mostly complete. There's the grocery store still, and some gift wrapping yet to do as well as one more party, but I should not have to enter another retail outlet till after the holiday season, so I'm breathing a sigh of relief (partly because I won't have to listen to that horrible Christmas music anymore).

January and February are going to be very busy months for me, so I'm scrambling right now to finished academic and teaching activities as well as the online proposals that need to be gotten out of the way before the crunch hits during those months, but I'm hoping to finish those up this week as well and actually relax. (Yes, I know it won't actually happen, but the fantasy is keeping me going right now...)

The great thing about December is that you can always hope that the new year will be different than this one!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Straight No Chaser - 12 Days

If the department stores could just play this kind of music instead of the stuff they're playing, I'd be a much happier shopper!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Wow! That IS a long time...

My head hasn't been in the dissertation lately - which I'm missing terribly. I keep looking at the pile of dissertation books, wishing I could pick up the next one. I suppose I should just be glad that I'm not at the part of the process where I dread working on it.

My online work has been really busy, as has teaching, but that's not the only reason I'm not dissertating these days. What I am working on is that project I mentioned a while ago - the one where a colleague contacted me out of the blue to contribute to her book project.

I've set aside the next two weeks to work on the revisions. I figured two weeks (which really with everything else translates to about 3 days) would be enough when I first heard of it. But I just looked at the requirements again, and because I actually have to pretty much double what I've got right now, I've got lots of room to talk. That's good. I've got lots to talk about.

I'm also thinking there's another really good reason I should give this project a bit more attention. After all, I've been working on it for almost 10 years already. Such commitment deserves more than a couple weeks revisiting, don't you think? Hard to believe it's been that long, but it has. I first wrote on the Dark Tower series when there were only 4 books in the series. In fact, when I wrote the proposal for my undergrad honors thesis, the fourth volume was still in production and I read it as I was doing the research for the project.

I enjoyed it so much, that once the last three books were produced, I decided I wanted to revisit the work I'd done back in undergrad, so I submitted an abstract to a conference and dug out the thesis and started working. I certainly needed to do a lot of work on the thesis - after all, I'd written it many years before as a novice scholar. But to my surprise as well, there were some really good bits in it. Surprisingly good. I found myself marvelling that I'd actually written it in some places. I didn't remember being that insightful...!

And now I'm returning to it again several years later. It's a really interesting project to look back at my work on this particular piece of scholarship over the last decade. It kind of nicely chronicles my development as a scholar. The thing that surprises me the most about looking back at my undergrad writing is that there were some good ideas there - but they were badly expressed. Or more often, only partially expressed. I wrote a lot of observations, but failed in a lot of cases to make the connections between them. I didn't move beyond the surface. I didn't pose difficult questions of the text. Probably because I was still in the grip of author-awe I wrote about a few weeks ago. (Being reminded of my own struggles, even as an honors student has also helped me understand the fumbling rhetoric of my students a bit better)

But the work I did then was a good start. It has created a nice groundwork for me to take now and shape into a more nuanced argument. Or at least that's the hope! But it's funny how my grasp of the implications of some textual moments that I just observed earlier is much firmer now than it was then.

What's the neatest part of all this is it gives me an idea of what it might be like to be a professor, working as a scholar, knowing all the foundational texts, or having heard all the arguments before, having that huge reservoir of knowledge and experience to draw upon when making an argument.

In the dissertation, as much as I love what I'm doing, I feel like a novice. I feel like there's so much that I DON'T know in comparison to what I DO know that it's difficult to adopt the authoritative voice that I need in order to make the very arguments I need to make. In this project, I've worked over the material so many times now, the writing is all developing the best argument possible and then choosing an effective means of expressing it - I find I'm not worrying so much about authority.

It's a really nice feeling. I'm looking forward to attaining that confidence in more than just this one text. So this must be what it feels like to really be an expert, not just write as if you are one!

Monday, December 10, 2007

Nothing

It's not that there's nothing happening in my life. There's a good bit going on. But most of it is work - which is boring. The parts that aren't boring, are mostly just making me grouchy, and I've never mastered the art of the rant. When I rant, it just sounds grouchy. The world doesn't need more of that.

So until I find something pleasant or intelligent to post on, I'm afraid all you're getting is silence. I hope it doesn't last long.