Spent much of the weekend at Rock and Shock, more for the shock than the rock. Neither of us recognized any of the bands playing, and the kind of music that usually accompanies horror conventioneers isn't usually my style anyway.
It was definitely a Romero-fest, which why I was surprised that I didn't see my zombi-phile buddy there, because I first heard about it from him.
Since I've never been to a horror convention before, I was interested, not only in the offerings of the convention, but in fan watching as well. There's something about genre fans that fascinates me - the whole identificatory emulation/adoration that seems to be driven by a desire for power. What's interesting about horror fans, is that unlike sf/f fans, who identify with the hero, in order to identify with the power, the horror fan must identify with the monster. If you know me in real life, I've probably yakked about genre fans before, but this up-close and personal view gave it a new twist.
There were definitely some fun bits - we went to a few Q&A's - Day of the Dead cast, The Fog cast (original) and Land of the Dead cast + Romero, where the man said some very interesting things about the politics of Land (you can catch them on the extras section of the upcoming DVD), and the philosophy of, and I quote, "You stop killing us and we'll stop eating you" that drives the ending of the movie. And yes, he left it open ended in the hopes that there would be demand for a sequel, though the box office numbers have likely ruled that out.
We also watched the original The Fog introduced by Adrienne Barbeau (which yes, I realize I could've just gone and rented), the unrated original version (not the sanitized DVD version) of Re-Animator, which had a couple of shocking extra scenes, and the slightly longer than theatre-version of Land of the Dead that will be available on DVD next week. So overall, it was worth it. I especially appreciated being able to see Land, because when it came out, I was busy enough in the two? weeks that it actually played around here, that I didn't get to see it before it was gone.
A fun weekend, considering the weather was horrific the whole time!
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Friday, October 07, 2005
Yeah, it sucks
Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs. Some of the things being poor is about:
Being poor is thinking $8 an hour is a really good deal.
Being poor is never buying anything someone else hasn't bought first.
Being poor is having to keep buying $800 cars because they're what you can afford, and then having the cars break down on you, because there's not an $800 car inAmerica North America that's worth a damn.
Being poor is six dollars short on the utility bill and no way to close the gap.
Being poor is hoping the register lady will spot you the dime.
Being poor is people who have never been poor wondering why you choose to be so.
Being poor is knowing how hard it is to stop being poor.
I would add a couple of other things to the list:
Being poor is walking home from the grocery store with a backpack instead of paying $3 for a cab ride 'cause you need that money for more food.
Being poor is hating television because it's free, but it's depressing because no one on it seems to have the problems you do.
Being poor is knowing the kids will be disappointed with the gift you could afford.
Being poor means saying no to invitations because you don't want to ask how much it will cost.
Being poor is hoping the kids don't get sick enough to stay home from school.
Being poor is thinking $8 an hour is a really good deal.
Being poor is never buying anything someone else hasn't bought first.
Being poor is having to keep buying $800 cars because they're what you can afford, and then having the cars break down on you, because there's not an $800 car in
Being poor is six dollars short on the utility bill and no way to close the gap.
Being poor is hoping the register lady will spot you the dime.
Being poor is people who have never been poor wondering why you choose to be so.
Being poor is knowing how hard it is to stop being poor.
I would add a couple of other things to the list:
Being poor is walking home from the grocery store with a backpack instead of paying $3 for a cab ride 'cause you need that money for more food.
Being poor is hating television because it's free, but it's depressing because no one on it seems to have the problems you do.
Being poor is knowing the kids will be disappointed with the gift you could afford.
Being poor means saying no to invitations because you don't want to ask how much it will cost.
Being poor is hoping the kids don't get sick enough to stay home from school.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Good friends
There's been a song running through my head for much of the day, which goes like this:
Make new friends, but keep the old
One is silver and the other gold
Yes it's short. I learnt it at camp when I was younger and we used to sing it as a round (you know, where half the people start singing the first line and the other half start the first line after the first group reaches the second one). It's nice as a round, though when it's stuck in your head, it gets a touch annoying because it's so short.
But it got me thinking about friends and being very happy for the ones I have. In the last three days, I've been offered a ride (twice), been taken out for lunch, gotten a long email detailing my friend's life, gotten invited to dinner, and had one really, funny forward sent to me.
Maybe not monumentous occasions or events, but really nice gestures from friends, of both the new and old type.
A bit of silver and a bit of gold.
To my friends, thanks for being you.
Make new friends, but keep the old
One is silver and the other gold
Yes it's short. I learnt it at camp when I was younger and we used to sing it as a round (you know, where half the people start singing the first line and the other half start the first line after the first group reaches the second one). It's nice as a round, though when it's stuck in your head, it gets a touch annoying because it's so short.
But it got me thinking about friends and being very happy for the ones I have. In the last three days, I've been offered a ride (twice), been taken out for lunch, gotten a long email detailing my friend's life, gotten invited to dinner, and had one really, funny forward sent to me.
Maybe not monumentous occasions or events, but really nice gestures from friends, of both the new and old type.
A bit of silver and a bit of gold.
To my friends, thanks for being you.
The joys of graduate school
Not only are we stacked 5 or 6 deep in our tiny offices, but now someone in an office nearby is playing some of the most god awful sentimental music and it's making it hard to concentrate.
And to think I took my walkman out of my bag this morning to make room because I didn't think I'd need it to drown out annoying noises - yeah, right...
And to think I took my walkman out of my bag this morning to make room because I didn't think I'd need it to drown out annoying noises - yeah, right...
Sunday, October 02, 2005
New Language developments at the EU
A European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English"..
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik zey vunted in ze forst plas.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English"..
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik zey vunted in ze forst plas.
Friday, September 30, 2005
I am no longer hideous! YES!
Babysat for friends yesterday and was surprised and happy that it went well. At one point during the young man's life, he would scream bloody murder if his mom or dad left the room, leaving him behind with me (even if I was on the other end of the room from him). Yesterday, he liked me.
Yeah, that's right... I'm now cool with the under-2 set.
Yeah, that's right... I'm now cool with the under-2 set.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Odd
Apparently, giant squid are not just the stuff of Jules Verne's imagination. Sure, their body parts have washed up on shore before, and we've seen them before, but now, apparently the first footage of a live, giant squid feeding have been captured.
A Japanese research team got the photos; "We believe this is the first time a grown giant squid has been captured on camera in its natural habitat," said Kyoichi Mori, one of the marine biologists on the project.
Interesting job these guys have.
A Japanese research team got the photos; "We believe this is the first time a grown giant squid has been captured on camera in its natural habitat," said Kyoichi Mori, one of the marine biologists on the project.
Interesting job these guys have.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
the latest meme
The latest meme reads something like this:
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
My results:
"I've really enjoyed the study periods that we've had as a group and it saddens me that the kind of collaborative work that we are doing in preparing for this test is rare in the profession of my choice."
I wrote this two days before the preliminary comprehensive exam - which seems like an eternity ago - and which didn't go well for me. Perhaps I enjoyed the study sessions too much? But it got me thinking and talking about collaboration, the isolation of academia, and then into a strange tangent about co-workers and a rant about dogmatic people, about the only people who I've ever had problems getting along with.
But since writing that sentence, I've become very involved in a Grad student colloquium at school, which, while it isn't collaboration, is at least an opportunity to share the work that we're doing with our colleagues. Looking back, I've realized that's one of the things that will be a drawback for me in academia - that sense of cooperation that comes from being part of a well-run work team. I will miss that feeling. (I won't miss the equally strong but much less pleasant feeling of being part of a team that doesn't work however!)
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
My results:
"I've really enjoyed the study periods that we've had as a group and it saddens me that the kind of collaborative work that we are doing in preparing for this test is rare in the profession of my choice."
I wrote this two days before the preliminary comprehensive exam - which seems like an eternity ago - and which didn't go well for me. Perhaps I enjoyed the study sessions too much? But it got me thinking and talking about collaboration, the isolation of academia, and then into a strange tangent about co-workers and a rant about dogmatic people, about the only people who I've ever had problems getting along with.
But since writing that sentence, I've become very involved in a Grad student colloquium at school, which, while it isn't collaboration, is at least an opportunity to share the work that we're doing with our colleagues. Looking back, I've realized that's one of the things that will be a drawback for me in academia - that sense of cooperation that comes from being part of a well-run work team. I will miss that feeling. (I won't miss the equally strong but much less pleasant feeling of being part of a team that doesn't work however!)
Pseudo-procrastination
It seems ironic to me that the moment I can see the end of the comps prep in sight and actually start thinking about writing them, a whole host of other things crop up to get in the way of actually finishing off the reading so I can write.
I think it's a subconscious thing, in part 'cause I'm scared shitless of writing them and flunking.
Some of it is inevitable family stuff, and other parts of it are inevitable fixing stuff kind of stuff, but I also seem to have found so many other worthwhile academic projects to do in the meantime. One of them is a conference paper I've been wanting to write for a long time now - the urbanization of the zombie film - I keep talking about it but haven't put any serious effort into writing even an abstract, though if I want to submit it to PCA next year, I'll need to do that real soon. It grows out of an interest in representations of the city in literature and film, which is of course one of the conference papers I presented last year.
My interest in urban literature was renewed on Friday because I went to see Neil Gaiman talk, and it was his Neverwhere that got me interested in the very specific ways that place functions in literature. He's a very amusing speaker, personable and articulate, with a fabulous reading voice. I could listen to him for hours - I think the next time he does one of his own audio books, I'll pick it up.
I did miss out on the Zadie Smith reading and signing today downtown. I had wanted to go, but I also needed to fix the car, and by the time I finished what I needed to do, I'd missed the time frame for doing what I wanted to do - too bad, I really like her work too.
I can't complain though - a lot of these distractions were very pleasant, like Book Club on Sunday night and dinner with some neighbors on Saturday night. Or like listening to Margaret Cho last night - what an irreverant woman - I loved it!
I'm hoping as October approaches, the pace of commitments to other things slows down enough for me to get back on track so that these things that keep delaying me - I don't want to say that I'm procrastinating, 'cause I'm not intentionally avoiding work, but they are delaying my progress. Wish me luck!
I think it's a subconscious thing, in part 'cause I'm scared shitless of writing them and flunking.
Some of it is inevitable family stuff, and other parts of it are inevitable fixing stuff kind of stuff, but I also seem to have found so many other worthwhile academic projects to do in the meantime. One of them is a conference paper I've been wanting to write for a long time now - the urbanization of the zombie film - I keep talking about it but haven't put any serious effort into writing even an abstract, though if I want to submit it to PCA next year, I'll need to do that real soon. It grows out of an interest in representations of the city in literature and film, which is of course one of the conference papers I presented last year.
My interest in urban literature was renewed on Friday because I went to see Neil Gaiman talk, and it was his Neverwhere that got me interested in the very specific ways that place functions in literature. He's a very amusing speaker, personable and articulate, with a fabulous reading voice. I could listen to him for hours - I think the next time he does one of his own audio books, I'll pick it up.
I did miss out on the Zadie Smith reading and signing today downtown. I had wanted to go, but I also needed to fix the car, and by the time I finished what I needed to do, I'd missed the time frame for doing what I wanted to do - too bad, I really like her work too.
I can't complain though - a lot of these distractions were very pleasant, like Book Club on Sunday night and dinner with some neighbors on Saturday night. Or like listening to Margaret Cho last night - what an irreverant woman - I loved it!
I'm hoping as October approaches, the pace of commitments to other things slows down enough for me to get back on track so that these things that keep delaying me - I don't want to say that I'm procrastinating, 'cause I'm not intentionally avoiding work, but they are delaying my progress. Wish me luck!
Saturday, September 24, 2005
reading, writing & 'rithmetic
I read a blogger's response to a Globe and Mail article about Canadian universities' responses to incoming students who lacked basic English and Math skills.
The 'doctor' writes:
The "then" "than" issue is mentioned, as are concerns about organisation. I would add that students often fail at basic comprehension. Summarise? That they can often do. But assess importance of content? Mmmm, not so much.
Further examples drawn from my own students over the last 4 years. Even though they all had 80's in maths, and I flunked out of grade 11 algebra 3 times... they cannot understand how the following is true:
(.5x + x) = y Therefore: x = (2/3y). Alternately 1.5x = y Therefore x = (2/3y)
This is a fundamental point that they just can't get, and it only gets worse from there.
The blog entry ends with a call for some kind of testing to ensure students are prepared for the rigors of academia, but not for a universal SAT or GRE type of test.
Then I had the Globe and Mail's version of the same story forwarded to me, and found the differences between the two perspectives interesting.
The Globe and Mail focuses on the effect this phenomena has on schools - how the number of students accessing writing centres are up and how some schools are targeting students who lack skills with intervention to keep them succeeding in school. This sounds a lot like what we're doing here. We have an early warning system to target students in trouble in core Math and English courses, and our department has been bending over backwards trying to find ways of supporting students who are in danger of flunking out.
As a teacher, I see this all the time. There's a huge difference in some of my classes between student skill levels, and here I think the problem is exacerbated by the difference between public and private school educations.
As a parent though, I also have serious doubts about my own children's preparation for post-secondary education. The Globe & Mail article notes: "I have seen students present high school English grades in the 90s, who have not passed our simple English test. And I don't know why," said Ann Barrett, managing director of the University of Waterloo's English language proficiency program. I can attest that good grades in English (even if all my children were attaining them) are not necessarily indicators of skills in writing, let alone reading, comprehension, ability to analyze, and all the other skills that you need to develop in order to write coherent prose.
The topic seems oh-so-relevant today, as I work my way through the first batch of writing my students have probably ever done at the post-secondary level, and I generate comments like, "The assignment requires you to do something you haven't done here" or "Quotations are dropped into the essay without any connection to your own words" and so on. These are those basic skills that I assumed students would have, and I was very shocked the first term that I taught to find out that I needed to teach all these things because many of them didn't know how to do these things.
And now I have to teach my kids to do this, 'cause their teachers aren't.
The 'doctor' writes:
The "then" "than" issue is mentioned, as are concerns about organisation. I would add that students often fail at basic comprehension. Summarise? That they can often do. But assess importance of content? Mmmm, not so much.
Further examples drawn from my own students over the last 4 years. Even though they all had 80's in maths, and I flunked out of grade 11 algebra 3 times... they cannot understand how the following is true:
(.5x + x) = y Therefore: x = (2/3y). Alternately 1.5x = y Therefore x = (2/3y)
This is a fundamental point that they just can't get, and it only gets worse from there.
The blog entry ends with a call for some kind of testing to ensure students are prepared for the rigors of academia, but not for a universal SAT or GRE type of test.
Then I had the Globe and Mail's version of the same story forwarded to me, and found the differences between the two perspectives interesting.
The Globe and Mail focuses on the effect this phenomena has on schools - how the number of students accessing writing centres are up and how some schools are targeting students who lack skills with intervention to keep them succeeding in school. This sounds a lot like what we're doing here. We have an early warning system to target students in trouble in core Math and English courses, and our department has been bending over backwards trying to find ways of supporting students who are in danger of flunking out.
As a teacher, I see this all the time. There's a huge difference in some of my classes between student skill levels, and here I think the problem is exacerbated by the difference between public and private school educations.
As a parent though, I also have serious doubts about my own children's preparation for post-secondary education. The Globe & Mail article notes: "I have seen students present high school English grades in the 90s, who have not passed our simple English test. And I don't know why," said Ann Barrett, managing director of the University of Waterloo's English language proficiency program. I can attest that good grades in English (even if all my children were attaining them) are not necessarily indicators of skills in writing, let alone reading, comprehension, ability to analyze, and all the other skills that you need to develop in order to write coherent prose.
The topic seems oh-so-relevant today, as I work my way through the first batch of writing my students have probably ever done at the post-secondary level, and I generate comments like, "The assignment requires you to do something you haven't done here" or "Quotations are dropped into the essay without any connection to your own words" and so on. These are those basic skills that I assumed students would have, and I was very shocked the first term that I taught to find out that I needed to teach all these things because many of them didn't know how to do these things.
And now I have to teach my kids to do this, 'cause their teachers aren't.
Friday, September 23, 2005
Got tagged
You can find previous answers to one of these getting to know you things here, a version about books here, and a version about things I've done that you might not have here.
Welcome to the spring 2005 edition of getting to know your friends.
What you are supposed to do is copy (not forward) this entire e-mail
and paste it on to a new e-mail that you'll send.
Change all the answers so they apply to you, and then send this to a
whole bunch of people including the person who sent it to you. The
theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your
friends, if you did not know them already.
1. What time did you get up this morning? 9:30 (I'm sick dammit!).
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds - I don't think I'm classy enough to pull off wearing pearls.
3. What was the last film you saw at the movies? The Exorcism of Emily Rose. I like it, but it's not The Exorcist. I think that's why I liked it.
4. What is your favorite TV show? This is a hard one. Probably toss up between That 70s Show, Family Guy, and The Daily Show.
5. What did you have for breakfast? Coffee.
6. What is your middle name? Darlene. I'm named after a dead Aunt.
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Pretty much anything I don't have to cook myself. In that category, probably pub grub... yep, like I said, I'm *real* classy.
8. What foods do you dislike? Don't like nuts.
9. What is your favorite chip flavor? Really depends on the mood... almost anything but Dill Pickle.
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? I'm rediscovering my love of GBS.
11. What type of car do you drive? Domestic POS.
12. Favorite sandwich? Tim Horton's chicken salad. Runzas are good too.
13. What characteristics do you despise? Procrastination (without good reason)
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you
go? Australia.
15. What color is your bathroom? Rental off-white - ugh!
16. Favorite brand of clothing? Is 'I got it on sale' a brand?
17. Where would you retire to? Cripes! I haven't even started a career yet and you're asking me where I'd retire to? I don't know if I'll ever really retire. I'm hoping to build a career where I make so many opportunities to travel and enjoy myself throughout that I'll never feel the need to really stop.
19. Favorite time of the day? Just before dawn on a warm fall day. Maybe it's my favorite 'cause I hardly ever see it!
20. What was your most memorable birthday? My 33rd. Some very good friends took me out to celebrate when I really needed it. I was feeling old, my marriage was falling apart, and they took me out, made me feel like myself again (though I don't quite look like it in the photos).
21. Where were you born? Regina, Saskatchewan.
22. Favorite sport to watch? Hockey! They're back!
23. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? Not applicable.
24. Person you expect to send it back first? I would say Beckler, but she tagged me.
25. What fabric detergent do you use? Varies - what's on sale this week?
26. Coke or Pepsi? Coke.
27. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Night owl.
28. What is your shoe size? With wide feet, it ranges from 7 1/2 for running shoes to 9 for dress sandals.
29. Do you have any pets? Nope. Last thing I need to worry about right now.
30. Any exciting news you'd like to share with your family? ??? Why would they not already know any exciting news I have? But I just saved a bunch on my car insurance...
31. What did you want to be when you were little? Depends on how little... first teacher, then pianist, then interpreter for the U.N., then photographer for National Geographic.
32. Siblings/Ages? Two sisters: 36 & 34.
33. What did you do last weekend? Belated back to school shopping, grocery shopping, watched aforementioned movie, studied... yeah, I know, pretty boring.
34. First Street address you ever had? Don't know - we moved when I was 1.
35. Family? Have my original family - mom, dad & 2 younger sisters. Have the family I made - hubby, three daughters. What more did you want from this question?
37. Favorite magazine? Dunno.
38. Favorite store to shop? second hand bookstores!
39. What's your house like? Three story condo - red brick, kinda cute. Mostly retired neighbors, so I think when our family moved in, they got a bit of a shock. Hate the yard guys though - they're really loud and annoying.
40. Favorite season? Summer.
41. Favorite Holiday? Anything with a BBQ involved.
42. Favorite Activity? Running, drinking, reading...
43. If you could build a second house anywhere, where would it be? Probably in the mountains (the Rockies that is)
44. Favorite kitchen appliance? Capuccino maker.
45. If you could play any instrument, what would it be? Since I play piano, I'm not sure of the question. I'd like to play better...
46. Sports car, mini van, or SUV? Sports car.
47. Do you believe in the after life? Yes, but not for everyone.
48. Favorite children's book? Charlotte's Web, almost any of Shel Silverstein's stuff, Where the Wild Things Are, Dr. Seuss.
49. Favorite ice cream? Chocolate mint
50. Favorite color? Red.
Okay, that took a long time. Now I need to go work.
Welcome to the spring 2005 edition of getting to know your friends.
What you are supposed to do is copy (not forward) this entire e-mail
and paste it on to a new e-mail that you'll send.
Change all the answers so they apply to you, and then send this to a
whole bunch of people including the person who sent it to you. The
theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your
friends, if you did not know them already.
1. What time did you get up this morning? 9:30 (I'm sick dammit!).
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds - I don't think I'm classy enough to pull off wearing pearls.
3. What was the last film you saw at the movies? The Exorcism of Emily Rose. I like it, but it's not The Exorcist. I think that's why I liked it.
4. What is your favorite TV show? This is a hard one. Probably toss up between That 70s Show, Family Guy, and The Daily Show.
5. What did you have for breakfast? Coffee.
6. What is your middle name? Darlene. I'm named after a dead Aunt.
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Pretty much anything I don't have to cook myself. In that category, probably pub grub... yep, like I said, I'm *real* classy.
8. What foods do you dislike? Don't like nuts.
9. What is your favorite chip flavor? Really depends on the mood... almost anything but Dill Pickle.
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? I'm rediscovering my love of GBS.
11. What type of car do you drive? Domestic POS.
12. Favorite sandwich? Tim Horton's chicken salad. Runzas are good too.
13. What characteristics do you despise? Procrastination (without good reason)
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you
go? Australia.
15. What color is your bathroom? Rental off-white - ugh!
16. Favorite brand of clothing? Is 'I got it on sale' a brand?
17. Where would you retire to? Cripes! I haven't even started a career yet and you're asking me where I'd retire to? I don't know if I'll ever really retire. I'm hoping to build a career where I make so many opportunities to travel and enjoy myself throughout that I'll never feel the need to really stop.
19. Favorite time of the day? Just before dawn on a warm fall day. Maybe it's my favorite 'cause I hardly ever see it!
20. What was your most memorable birthday? My 33rd. Some very good friends took me out to celebrate when I really needed it. I was feeling old, my marriage was falling apart, and they took me out, made me feel like myself again (though I don't quite look like it in the photos).
21. Where were you born? Regina, Saskatchewan.
22. Favorite sport to watch? Hockey! They're back!
23. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? Not applicable.
24. Person you expect to send it back first? I would say Beckler, but she tagged me.
25. What fabric detergent do you use? Varies - what's on sale this week?
26. Coke or Pepsi? Coke.
27. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Night owl.
28. What is your shoe size? With wide feet, it ranges from 7 1/2 for running shoes to 9 for dress sandals.
29. Do you have any pets? Nope. Last thing I need to worry about right now.
30. Any exciting news you'd like to share with your family? ??? Why would they not already know any exciting news I have? But I just saved a bunch on my car insurance...
31. What did you want to be when you were little? Depends on how little... first teacher, then pianist, then interpreter for the U.N., then photographer for National Geographic.
32. Siblings/Ages? Two sisters: 36 & 34.
33. What did you do last weekend? Belated back to school shopping, grocery shopping, watched aforementioned movie, studied... yeah, I know, pretty boring.
34. First Street address you ever had? Don't know - we moved when I was 1.
35. Family? Have my original family - mom, dad & 2 younger sisters. Have the family I made - hubby, three daughters. What more did you want from this question?
37. Favorite magazine? Dunno.
38. Favorite store to shop? second hand bookstores!
39. What's your house like? Three story condo - red brick, kinda cute. Mostly retired neighbors, so I think when our family moved in, they got a bit of a shock. Hate the yard guys though - they're really loud and annoying.
40. Favorite season? Summer.
41. Favorite Holiday? Anything with a BBQ involved.
42. Favorite Activity? Running, drinking, reading...
43. If you could build a second house anywhere, where would it be? Probably in the mountains (the Rockies that is)
44. Favorite kitchen appliance? Capuccino maker.
45. If you could play any instrument, what would it be? Since I play piano, I'm not sure of the question. I'd like to play better...
46. Sports car, mini van, or SUV? Sports car.
47. Do you believe in the after life? Yes, but not for everyone.
48. Favorite children's book? Charlotte's Web, almost any of Shel Silverstein's stuff, Where the Wild Things Are, Dr. Seuss.
49. Favorite ice cream? Chocolate mint
50. Favorite color? Red.
Okay, that took a long time. Now I need to go work.
Telecommunications suck sometimes
Usually, I'm all for email, voice mail, instant messaging... but not when people use it as a way of avoiding responding to my requests for things.
I'm starting a slow burn of annoyance at the people in my life right now who are not responding to my messages.
Just answer me, damnit! and I'll leave you alone!
I'm starting a slow burn of annoyance at the people in my life right now who are not responding to my messages.
Just answer me, damnit! and I'll leave you alone!
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Uninspired
I should be working. I had planned to be working this morning.
But I'm really feeling unfocused and uninspired this morning. Maybe part of it has to do with the brilliance of the papers presented at the colloquium last night. I walked away from it feeling stupid in retrospect.
But part of it also is that I don't want to teach this afternoon. It will be a short class because they'll all be exhausted from finishing their drafts and the biology exam that the majority of the class also has today. I also keep looking at the clock when I do try to read because I worry that I'm going to lose track of time and be late to leave. I could leave early, but since I want to drive (what luxury!) I also can't leave too early because then I won't have enough money to plug the meter.
So I sit here frazzled, uninspired, unintelligent, feeling annoyed at my three day a week schedule, not looking forward to getting drafts, and wondering if I should try going to the gym even though my workout yesterday exhausted me.
Grrrrr.
But I'm really feeling unfocused and uninspired this morning. Maybe part of it has to do with the brilliance of the papers presented at the colloquium last night. I walked away from it feeling stupid in retrospect.
But part of it also is that I don't want to teach this afternoon. It will be a short class because they'll all be exhausted from finishing their drafts and the biology exam that the majority of the class also has today. I also keep looking at the clock when I do try to read because I worry that I'm going to lose track of time and be late to leave. I could leave early, but since I want to drive (what luxury!) I also can't leave too early because then I won't have enough money to plug the meter.
So I sit here frazzled, uninspired, unintelligent, feeling annoyed at my three day a week schedule, not looking forward to getting drafts, and wondering if I should try going to the gym even though my workout yesterday exhausted me.
Grrrrr.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Pins and Needles
My head's been in my ass more often than usual lately... when I start to worry about the future, that kind of thing tends to happen.
What was bugging me wasn't much, just the whole finishing school thing, no biggie, right? Problem is, I really want to finish - I've got an awful lot invested in this. And it's not just me - our whole family is invested in this joint education venture - we've worked hard to get as far as we have, we've done without things, we've gone deep deeeeep into debt, we've lived what has felt like a precarious existence for the last three years to get as far as we have.
And we're close enough now to taste it - I can actually imagine the dissertation (which is something that I haven't been able to do before) and D is entering the home stretch - he's written qualifying exams, he's completed all his course work, he's done most of the practical qualifications he needs to graduate, and will be there in less than a year.
So when I found out that my loan application had been declined, what I felt I can't quite describe - disbelief, fear, desperation, despair, anxiety - or something that was a bit of all of them, and it preoccupied my thoughts for much of the past few weeks. People who I met often said I looked tired, but I think it was just that I was worn out with trying to figure out what was wrong.
Because there was no good reason that I could see for the decision. My credit rating looks exactly the same as it did last year when I applied for the same loan (which I got), so it couldn't be that. I checked my credit record, but there was no incorrect information on there that would've affected it. It took several days to track down the information I needed to find out what was wrong, all the time, I tried not to imagine what we'd have to do if I didn't sort this out.
You know what was wrong?
When my school emailed the confirmation of enrollment to the lender, they neglected to actually fill out the form and sent it out blank. So the lender thought that meant I wasn't registered and rejected the application. But the kicker was that it took over a week to get anyone to tell me why the loan was rejected, and then another three days, four phone calls, and a personal visit to the person in charge to get them to understand that this needed to be fixed.
Now I'm sitting here with my fingers crossed, hoping that nothing else goes wrong before they get the money to me...
What was bugging me wasn't much, just the whole finishing school thing, no biggie, right? Problem is, I really want to finish - I've got an awful lot invested in this. And it's not just me - our whole family is invested in this joint education venture - we've worked hard to get as far as we have, we've done without things, we've gone deep deeeeep into debt, we've lived what has felt like a precarious existence for the last three years to get as far as we have.
And we're close enough now to taste it - I can actually imagine the dissertation (which is something that I haven't been able to do before) and D is entering the home stretch - he's written qualifying exams, he's completed all his course work, he's done most of the practical qualifications he needs to graduate, and will be there in less than a year.
So when I found out that my loan application had been declined, what I felt I can't quite describe - disbelief, fear, desperation, despair, anxiety - or something that was a bit of all of them, and it preoccupied my thoughts for much of the past few weeks. People who I met often said I looked tired, but I think it was just that I was worn out with trying to figure out what was wrong.
Because there was no good reason that I could see for the decision. My credit rating looks exactly the same as it did last year when I applied for the same loan (which I got), so it couldn't be that. I checked my credit record, but there was no incorrect information on there that would've affected it. It took several days to track down the information I needed to find out what was wrong, all the time, I tried not to imagine what we'd have to do if I didn't sort this out.
You know what was wrong?
When my school emailed the confirmation of enrollment to the lender, they neglected to actually fill out the form and sent it out blank. So the lender thought that meant I wasn't registered and rejected the application. But the kicker was that it took over a week to get anyone to tell me why the loan was rejected, and then another three days, four phone calls, and a personal visit to the person in charge to get them to understand that this needed to be fixed.
Now I'm sitting here with my fingers crossed, hoping that nothing else goes wrong before they get the money to me...
I hate it when I can't tell dreams from reality
Last night I dreamt I needed to send out four very important and urgent emails.
Question: Is this just a general anxiety dream and the emails are just an expression of anxiety, or did my brain insert emails into the dream because I really do need to email people and have forgotten who?
I hate it when I can't tell my dreams from my reality.
Question: Is this just a general anxiety dream and the emails are just an expression of anxiety, or did my brain insert emails into the dream because I really do need to email people and have forgotten who?
I hate it when I can't tell my dreams from my reality.
Friday, September 16, 2005
They're getting closer!
The Tim Hortons, that is... there are now 3 in Massachusetts (though none are still very close by).
The quintessential Canadian donut shop is slowly infiltrating the corner of the continent that I live in and I'm psyched (even if I don't ever order the double double). In fact, Boston could be one helluva great coffee mecca if they manage to even get to the suburbs, because then I could have either Tims or ABP anywhere I go! How ideal would that be!?
After all, who can't help but love a donut shop that's penetrated the halls of academia, with a dissertation by Steven Penfold at York U. in 1999 on the sociology of Tim Hortons: "The social life of donuts: commodity and community in postwar Canada".
The quintessential Canadian donut shop is slowly infiltrating the corner of the continent that I live in and I'm psyched (even if I don't ever order the double double). In fact, Boston could be one helluva great coffee mecca if they manage to even get to the suburbs, because then I could have either Tims or ABP anywhere I go! How ideal would that be!?
After all, who can't help but love a donut shop that's penetrated the halls of academia, with a dissertation by Steven Penfold at York U. in 1999 on the sociology of Tim Hortons: "The social life of donuts: commodity and community in postwar Canada".
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
International moments
Today, the bus driver recognized my accent, asked where I was from and told me he was from Nova Scotia.
Later in the day, I passed a man wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with "MooseJaw Saskatchewan" on the front.
Imagine that.
Later in the day, I passed a man wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with "MooseJaw Saskatchewan" on the front.
Imagine that.
That's gonna be me in the back row!
I'm happy to say that I managed to get a ticket to the sold out reading by Neil Gaiman next Friday in Cambridge. This will be very cool! Coming from where I grew up, there weren't many writers stopping by town on book tours, and though I've caught a few people before, Gaiman is definitely the coolest reading I'll ever have been to!
Monday, September 12, 2005
Connections
Booker novelists have expressed outrage at Turkey's charges against author Orhan Pamuk of "public denigration of Turkish identity" for his statements about the Armenian genocide. Turkey has actually updated its penal code regarding freedom of speech in recent years to bolster its attempt to join the EU, but this charge will likely hurt them in their application.
Connections:
I live in a town in which I've been told the largest concentration of Armenians outside Armenia itself reside. There's an Armenian library in town and the anniversary of the genocide is commemorated here.
I read lots of Booker Prize winners and I value freedom of speech for everyone (even if I don't agree with what is being said - which isn't the case this time).
The first advanced writing course I taught was to international business majors, one of whom wrote about Turkey's bid to enter the EU... so I actually know a little about it, and it doesn't look like much has changed from when this student wrote about it two years ago.
Connections:
I live in a town in which I've been told the largest concentration of Armenians outside Armenia itself reside. There's an Armenian library in town and the anniversary of the genocide is commemorated here.
I read lots of Booker Prize winners and I value freedom of speech for everyone (even if I don't agree with what is being said - which isn't the case this time).
The first advanced writing course I taught was to international business majors, one of whom wrote about Turkey's bid to enter the EU... so I actually know a little about it, and it doesn't look like much has changed from when this student wrote about it two years ago.
Ivory Tower-itis
As I started reading this article by Thomas Benton on the death of secondhand bookstores, my first thought was, "Cambridge has the best used bookstores! That's where I always go. What's he talking about?" Then I realized that he hadn't said "Cambridge", only "in the vicinity of Harvard". Aaah! Well, that's different. 'Tis a pity that Harvard has so few used bookstores in its vicinity.
As I continued to read, the back part of my brain that's always categorizing and labelling told me this was one of those opinion pieces heavy on the nostalgia, though accepting of the fact that the world changes. Then I realized when I got to the end, that it was not nostalgic or accepting, but calling for change! A rallying of the universities to save the rapidly disappearing used bookstores!
Oh! See I was mistaken. When I read the author's statement that "Online bookstores are wonderfully convenient, particularly now that I live far from a major city. These days, I can obtain nearly any book I want, including rarities, on relatively short notice" I thought he was waxing nostalgic but only that. I guess I didn't take the "live far from a major city" part seriously since he'd already indicated that when he was at Harvard, "Two or three times a year, my long-suffering wife and I would take to the road in a rented car, traveling north to Gloucester and Newburyport in Massachusetts, Exeter and Portsmouth in New Hampshire, and Portland in Maine (being sure not to miss the Douglas N. Harding rare-book warehouse on Route 1 near Wells)" which seemed to indicate that he wasn't averse to travelling to obtain books. It also seems it paid off: "I probably acquired more than 2,000 books -- scholarly and antiquarian -- by the time I finished graduate school seven years later."
Imagine my surprise at the end when he writes, "If influential and wealthy people -- perhaps the kind who collect books themselves -- can be convinced of the importance of secondhand bookstores to an academic community, perhaps money could be found to subsidize their continuing existence in places such as Cambridge" Seems like a plan, or at the least a proposal.
I wonder who those influential book collectors might be? Hmmmm?
As I continued to read, the back part of my brain that's always categorizing and labelling told me this was one of those opinion pieces heavy on the nostalgia, though accepting of the fact that the world changes. Then I realized when I got to the end, that it was not nostalgic or accepting, but calling for change! A rallying of the universities to save the rapidly disappearing used bookstores!
Oh! See I was mistaken. When I read the author's statement that "Online bookstores are wonderfully convenient, particularly now that I live far from a major city. These days, I can obtain nearly any book I want, including rarities, on relatively short notice" I thought he was waxing nostalgic but only that. I guess I didn't take the "live far from a major city" part seriously since he'd already indicated that when he was at Harvard, "Two or three times a year, my long-suffering wife and I would take to the road in a rented car, traveling north to Gloucester and Newburyport in Massachusetts, Exeter and Portsmouth in New Hampshire, and Portland in Maine (being sure not to miss the Douglas N. Harding rare-book warehouse on Route 1 near Wells)" which seemed to indicate that he wasn't averse to travelling to obtain books. It also seems it paid off: "I probably acquired more than 2,000 books -- scholarly and antiquarian -- by the time I finished graduate school seven years later."
Imagine my surprise at the end when he writes, "If influential and wealthy people -- perhaps the kind who collect books themselves -- can be convinced of the importance of secondhand bookstores to an academic community, perhaps money could be found to subsidize their continuing existence in places such as Cambridge" Seems like a plan, or at the least a proposal.
I wonder who those influential book collectors might be? Hmmmm?
Sunday, September 11, 2005
The idiocy continues
The library home page at my university was recently revamped, which means menus aren't where they used to be. And it is not evident from what is on the front page what links I would need to access the OED. After several unsuccesful links, I spot the "Search" function. Of course! I'll type in "OED" and it will take me to the link.
Only the "Search" function is "Coming Soon!" - so wait, let me get this straight. You rearrange the site then don't have a working search function? THAT was a good idea!
Only the "Search" function is "Coming Soon!" - so wait, let me get this straight. You rearrange the site then don't have a working search function? THAT was a good idea!
Saturday, September 10, 2005
I like meeting new people (well, most of the time anyway)
Met the new group of doctoral students this year - there are 9 of them, which is by far the biggest class admitted in many, many years. Makes me a bit jealous - there's only two of us left from my class - they all get to go through the same stuff together at the same time. Some don't have MAs though, so they'll still be on a different track, so I guess it's not really that big a change in the numbers.
I do know I was looking forward to meeting them when I woke up yesterday morning, but then, I felt so drained (no good reason) by the time the meet 'n greet started, that I really didn't feel like being 'on' for meeting new people... you know, making nice conversation, remembering names, asking polite questions etc....
Not that I needed to worry - they were all cool and within about two minutes, I was actually enjoying the shindig. (though I would've enjoyed it even more if the department could've sprung for at least one free drink!)
The experience was a bit like I feel about teaching. Usually when I'm heading in, I'm not enthusiastic, but within a couple of minutes of starting class, I'm psyched and actually feel energized after teaching.
Same kind of thing with meeting new people. I actually worry that I'll look or sound like a dork. Which is stupid. Not because I'm not a dork. But because when I think about it, I really just don't give a damn. Well, mostly don't...
*pfft* Okay, so I do. But I also don't. And no, I DON'T need to make up my mind. I'm gonna have it both ways.
I do know I was looking forward to meeting them when I woke up yesterday morning, but then, I felt so drained (no good reason) by the time the meet 'n greet started, that I really didn't feel like being 'on' for meeting new people... you know, making nice conversation, remembering names, asking polite questions etc....
Not that I needed to worry - they were all cool and within about two minutes, I was actually enjoying the shindig. (though I would've enjoyed it even more if the department could've sprung for at least one free drink!)
The experience was a bit like I feel about teaching. Usually when I'm heading in, I'm not enthusiastic, but within a couple of minutes of starting class, I'm psyched and actually feel energized after teaching.
Same kind of thing with meeting new people. I actually worry that I'll look or sound like a dork. Which is stupid. Not because I'm not a dork. But because when I think about it, I really just don't give a damn. Well, mostly don't...
*pfft* Okay, so I do. But I also don't. And no, I DON'T need to make up my mind. I'm gonna have it both ways.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Back into the swing of things
Going to school in the morning was an odd, and slightly disorienting experience after all the movement of travelling halfway across the country and back.
The morning started well - I was psyched about the class I was teaching, looking forward to the possibility of shadowing and working with the new prof in the department, and just really sailing through on the aftereffects of several days of no work (not to say I didn't get tired during the trip - I'm exhausted - but I didn't do anything intellectual, which was a nice break!)
Unfortunately, things started going downhill pretty much as soon as I arrived at school. I had an immediate disappointment in not being able to shadow, but it was countered by a kind of schadenfreude-relief of finding out in a non-annoying kind of way that it wasn't going to happen. Then I had some bad/worrying news that I need to follow up on to try and correct. Then I went to the department meeting... though that was kind of a neutral event.
My biggest disappointment came the moment I walked into my classroom. I walked in to the tiniest classroom I've ever seen (the functional part of it is probably the size of my bedroom... which has never had thirteen people in it before) and announced "I'm here for English 111 - Constructing Narratives across Media. I hope you all are here for that too". I was rewarded by nothing but blank looks.
Apparently, the twelve people in the class who I thought had all signed up because they were psyched about studying multiple media for their comp class didn't exist. What did exist were twelve nursing students whose advisors had just scheduled them into the class - they had not selected my class because they were interested in the topic - they just ended up in my class.
That threw me for a loop, because I felt like I needed to explain what the class was about and how it was different from the regular class and how it was the same. I almost cried in frustration - if I have to teach the freshman comp, I wanted to teach students who were excited about the concept of this special topic course and motivated to talk about it and write neat papers about it.
So I'm very disappointed... and worried... I guess I just have to wait and see if the class warms up to the material and if I can fix the problem I learnt about in the morning. Wish me luck
The morning started well - I was psyched about the class I was teaching, looking forward to the possibility of shadowing and working with the new prof in the department, and just really sailing through on the aftereffects of several days of no work (not to say I didn't get tired during the trip - I'm exhausted - but I didn't do anything intellectual, which was a nice break!)
Unfortunately, things started going downhill pretty much as soon as I arrived at school. I had an immediate disappointment in not being able to shadow, but it was countered by a kind of schadenfreude-relief of finding out in a non-annoying kind of way that it wasn't going to happen. Then I had some bad/worrying news that I need to follow up on to try and correct. Then I went to the department meeting... though that was kind of a neutral event.
My biggest disappointment came the moment I walked into my classroom. I walked in to the tiniest classroom I've ever seen (the functional part of it is probably the size of my bedroom... which has never had thirteen people in it before) and announced "I'm here for English 111 - Constructing Narratives across Media. I hope you all are here for that too". I was rewarded by nothing but blank looks.
Apparently, the twelve people in the class who I thought had all signed up because they were psyched about studying multiple media for their comp class didn't exist. What did exist were twelve nursing students whose advisors had just scheduled them into the class - they had not selected my class because they were interested in the topic - they just ended up in my class.
That threw me for a loop, because I felt like I needed to explain what the class was about and how it was different from the regular class and how it was the same. I almost cried in frustration - if I have to teach the freshman comp, I wanted to teach students who were excited about the concept of this special topic course and motivated to talk about it and write neat papers about it.
So I'm very disappointed... and worried... I guess I just have to wait and see if the class warms up to the material and if I can fix the problem I learnt about in the morning. Wish me luck
Nebraska
Okay, so first off, I just gotta say... DAMN! this country is big! Almost as big as mine! I have car butt now from sitting in a moving vehicle for soooo long! But it was worth it!
Corn, corn, corn
There's lots of corn grown in this country... or at least in the country I travelled through. Corn and soy. Different from the endless wheat fields I'm used to seeing. But if you squint, it looks exactly the same. Felt like I was driving across Saskatchewan and Manitoba most of the time.
Nebraskan fast food
In Nebraka, there's a fast food chain, Runza's Restaurants, that make runzas. What's a runza, you ask? It's a whole bunch of ground beef with cheese wrapped in dough that's then cooked. And it's damn good - too bad there aren't any of them here 'cause they'd probably get added to my list of favorite fast food places.
The wedding
Only one word describes this wedding: beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! They are a fabulous couple and their happiness was a delight to see. Congratulations!
We are such geeks!
At the wedding reception, when people are supposed to be drinking and having a good time, someone at our table of eight mentioned Bentham's Panopticon... and we all nodded our heads 'cause we're all geeks who've read Foucault. Sheesh! I felt the need to drink after that just 'cause we were obviously thinking too hard!
There is such a thing as too much
Six states and fourteen hours of driving is just too much: Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania.
Holy Toledo!
So, now I know where the expression comes from... because we decided on the way back home that we'd have dinner in Toledo. We saw the sign for the Toledo zoo - probably not a great place for dinner, so we keep driving. And driving. About ten minutes later, it dawns on us that we must've blinked real hard and missed it, 'cause there ain't no Toledo to be seen, hence "Holy Toledo! We missed it!"
State Troopers
These are scary dudes, and I really don't ever want to meet one, which is why I was really glad that I got lucky in New York with them. No, not that kind of lucky. I mean that I didn't have to talk to one of them. I was in the left lane following this dude from Kansas who wasn't going as fast as I wanted him to but wasn't moving over to the right lane to let me pass. Well, we go past a cop on the side of the road who flips his lights on just after we pass him - he's after one of us. So I back off and shift to the right lane. Kansas didn't see him or something, 'cause he kept going at the same speed. Cop pulled past me and nailed Kansas instead. I'm sure some state troopers are really nice people, but I'm happy to say I have yet to meet one!
Home again, home again, jiggedy, jig
Three thousand miles of travelling under our belts, we run into our only snag a half hour out of Boston. A tractor trailer flipped, blocking two lanes of traffic. At least that's what the radio said. I believe it, 'cause when we turned off onto a side route that would go nearby my house anyway, we say nothing but stopped traffic for a couple of miles ahead. That last half hour actually took an hour and a half - a bit of a frustration after such a long travel!
Corn, corn, corn
There's lots of corn grown in this country... or at least in the country I travelled through. Corn and soy. Different from the endless wheat fields I'm used to seeing. But if you squint, it looks exactly the same. Felt like I was driving across Saskatchewan and Manitoba most of the time.
Nebraskan fast food
In Nebraka, there's a fast food chain, Runza's Restaurants, that make runzas. What's a runza, you ask? It's a whole bunch of ground beef with cheese wrapped in dough that's then cooked. And it's damn good - too bad there aren't any of them here 'cause they'd probably get added to my list of favorite fast food places.
The wedding
Only one word describes this wedding: beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! They are a fabulous couple and their happiness was a delight to see. Congratulations!
We are such geeks!
At the wedding reception, when people are supposed to be drinking and having a good time, someone at our table of eight mentioned Bentham's Panopticon... and we all nodded our heads 'cause we're all geeks who've read Foucault. Sheesh! I felt the need to drink after that just 'cause we were obviously thinking too hard!
There is such a thing as too much
Six states and fourteen hours of driving is just too much: Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania.
Holy Toledo!
So, now I know where the expression comes from... because we decided on the way back home that we'd have dinner in Toledo. We saw the sign for the Toledo zoo - probably not a great place for dinner, so we keep driving. And driving. About ten minutes later, it dawns on us that we must've blinked real hard and missed it, 'cause there ain't no Toledo to be seen, hence "Holy Toledo! We missed it!"
State Troopers
These are scary dudes, and I really don't ever want to meet one, which is why I was really glad that I got lucky in New York with them. No, not that kind of lucky. I mean that I didn't have to talk to one of them. I was in the left lane following this dude from Kansas who wasn't going as fast as I wanted him to but wasn't moving over to the right lane to let me pass. Well, we go past a cop on the side of the road who flips his lights on just after we pass him - he's after one of us. So I back off and shift to the right lane. Kansas didn't see him or something, 'cause he kept going at the same speed. Cop pulled past me and nailed Kansas instead. I'm sure some state troopers are really nice people, but I'm happy to say I have yet to meet one!
Home again, home again, jiggedy, jig
Three thousand miles of travelling under our belts, we run into our only snag a half hour out of Boston. A tractor trailer flipped, blocking two lanes of traffic. At least that's what the radio said. I believe it, 'cause when we turned off onto a side route that would go nearby my house anyway, we say nothing but stopped traffic for a couple of miles ahead. That last half hour actually took an hour and a half - a bit of a frustration after such a long travel!
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
ROAD TRIP!
I am off to Nebraska for a wedding, so don't expect posts for a while. Three of us are driving... and yes, it's a LONG way!
You can start placing bets on survival, sanity, arrival times etc. now.
You can start placing bets on survival, sanity, arrival times etc. now.
So far I've been lucky
The 'helicopter' parent phenomena is one that I've mostly managed to avoid, though I've certainly heard the stories. I remember talking to a woman who works in the Registrar's Office who fielded a call from a mother asking if she would check that her son was eating his vegetables. That's just wrong on so many counts, I don't know where to start.
But the more disturbing part about it is the consumer mentality that is creeping into higher education (particularly here in the U.S.). Going to school is seen as a rite of passage and a necessity to obtaining a good job. In a private institution like the one I teach at, the vast majority of freshman are just that "fresh" out of high school with little or no life experience to speak of. In all the freshman classes I've taught, I've only once encountered a student who hadn't come straight from high school, and he was still only 20.
With this mentality, students come to see their education as a product that can be consumed and if they've paid for it, they expect to get out of it a passing grade, an 'A', a credit, whatever it is that they've decided they should get out of it. In other words, I'm supposed to deliver whatever it is they think they are entitled to after they've paid their tuition. It's a weird attitude to encounter and it cheapens the learning experience.
If any of you ever see me acting like a helicopter parent when my kid goes off to school next year, slap me upside the head... hard, ok?
But the more disturbing part about it is the consumer mentality that is creeping into higher education (particularly here in the U.S.). Going to school is seen as a rite of passage and a necessity to obtaining a good job. In a private institution like the one I teach at, the vast majority of freshman are just that "fresh" out of high school with little or no life experience to speak of. In all the freshman classes I've taught, I've only once encountered a student who hadn't come straight from high school, and he was still only 20.
With this mentality, students come to see their education as a product that can be consumed and if they've paid for it, they expect to get out of it a passing grade, an 'A', a credit, whatever it is that they've decided they should get out of it. In other words, I'm supposed to deliver whatever it is they think they are entitled to after they've paid their tuition. It's a weird attitude to encounter and it cheapens the learning experience.
If any of you ever see me acting like a helicopter parent when my kid goes off to school next year, slap me upside the head... hard, ok?
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
One more thing that can go wrong
Got an electronic memo today:
During the summer, the Office of the Registrar worked closely with Information Services to develop electronic rosters (E-Rosters) for the semester undergraduate day courses. Faculty who are assigned to teach these courses in the fall and are on the University's faculty file will have the ability to print their rosters as often as they wish until the grade sheets are generated. These E-Rosters will reflect the student add/drop activity that was processed at the close of business on the previous business day.
While I understand the rationale behind this, it fills my heart with trepidation. Before it was just that (incorrect) electronic files messed with my ability to work out or access the library. Now there's the possibility that those same kinds of mistakes will screw with my work. Great!
During the summer, the Office of the Registrar worked closely with Information Services to develop electronic rosters (E-Rosters) for the semester undergraduate day courses. Faculty who are assigned to teach these courses in the fall and are on the University's faculty file will have the ability to print their rosters as often as they wish until the grade sheets are generated. These E-Rosters will reflect the student add/drop activity that was processed at the close of business on the previous business day.
While I understand the rationale behind this, it fills my heart with trepidation. Before it was just that (incorrect) electronic files messed with my ability to work out or access the library. Now there's the possibility that those same kinds of mistakes will screw with my work. Great!
Monday, August 29, 2005
This might actually be enjoyable!
Since I'm going away to a wedding on Wed. night and not coming back till the day before classes start, I figured I should do some work on my course materials etc.
I'm teaching one course this term and two next term, the reverse of what is usually required of us, but I asked for the arrangement so that I would have time to write those damn exams that are still looming over my head during the fall term. Let's hope I get them written, otherwise, I'm gonna be screwed come spring term!
Anyway, the uni has decided to try and make freshman writing more interesting by creating special topic sections of the required freshman course. So I submitted a proposal and it was accepted. It was a series of sequences that I pretty much already was working with, and all but one I've already tried out and found they worked pretty well.
So anyway, I'll be teaching a freshman writing course in "Constructing Narrative Across Media" which means we get to 'read' a whole bunch of stuff that isn't just books. We'll be 'reading' painting, film, and, you guessed it, blogs! Their final project has them revisiting the work they've been doing all term, which means one option is to create a blog of their own - the last time I tried this with students, most of them 'got' it, though some of them really didn't put much effort into it.
The course is great because I get to talk about narrative, which is something I study and actually know something about. And I get to talk about film and blogs... two things I also know a little about. The only thing I don't know much about is painting, but it's the first thing we do, so it's not like the students are ready to start rebelling yet and usually works out pretty good. It also means we get a field trip to the Museum of Fine Arts across the street (another reason why it's going to be more fun than sitting in the classroom all the time).
I suspected that there might be an added benefit to the class, and there certainly was - when I logged onto the webCT for the course, I saw that I only have 12 students signed up yet! Alright! Now, sure, that could change before the term starts, but a small class would make this an even better course to teach. It's always easier to get students talking, and everyone talking, when there aren't too many people in the class.
I still need to re-read a bunch of the essays and stuff, and write at least one more assignment before the term begins, but it's looking like this could actually be a pretty cool class!
I'm teaching one course this term and two next term, the reverse of what is usually required of us, but I asked for the arrangement so that I would have time to write those damn exams that are still looming over my head during the fall term. Let's hope I get them written, otherwise, I'm gonna be screwed come spring term!
Anyway, the uni has decided to try and make freshman writing more interesting by creating special topic sections of the required freshman course. So I submitted a proposal and it was accepted. It was a series of sequences that I pretty much already was working with, and all but one I've already tried out and found they worked pretty well.
So anyway, I'll be teaching a freshman writing course in "Constructing Narrative Across Media" which means we get to 'read' a whole bunch of stuff that isn't just books. We'll be 'reading' painting, film, and, you guessed it, blogs! Their final project has them revisiting the work they've been doing all term, which means one option is to create a blog of their own - the last time I tried this with students, most of them 'got' it, though some of them really didn't put much effort into it.
The course is great because I get to talk about narrative, which is something I study and actually know something about. And I get to talk about film and blogs... two things I also know a little about. The only thing I don't know much about is painting, but it's the first thing we do, so it's not like the students are ready to start rebelling yet and usually works out pretty good. It also means we get a field trip to the Museum of Fine Arts across the street (another reason why it's going to be more fun than sitting in the classroom all the time).
I suspected that there might be an added benefit to the class, and there certainly was - when I logged onto the webCT for the course, I saw that I only have 12 students signed up yet! Alright! Now, sure, that could change before the term starts, but a small class would make this an even better course to teach. It's always easier to get students talking, and everyone talking, when there aren't too many people in the class.
I still need to re-read a bunch of the essays and stuff, and write at least one more assignment before the term begins, but it's looking like this could actually be a pretty cool class!
Sunday, August 28, 2005
My imagination fails me
Today while driving, I was cut off by a car pulling out of a liquor store parking lot. I was behind it for a few blocks until it turned off again... into a cemetery.
????
I fail to see the connection.
????
I fail to see the connection.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
My Private School Days
Betcha didn't know I ever went to private school, did you? But I did. The only reason I did was because my dad and mom both worked for the school, otherwise, I wonder that they ever could've afforded it.
Besides, when you live in Brasil and don't speak very good Portuguese yet, you're probably best going to a school where the language of instruction is English. So I was playing with Google Earth (which is another in a long line of useful things to do when you're procrastinating about doing the work you're supposed to), and I managed to find the school! Here's the aerial shot:
And before you get all jealous, the pool was under construction when we left. That big green space? A real futbol field. The structure at the top of the picture was the elementary/junior high classrooms and the cafeteria/administrative offices are in the light colored building next to the pool.
Now I just need to find the house we lived in!
Besides, when you live in Brasil and don't speak very good Portuguese yet, you're probably best going to a school where the language of instruction is English. So I was playing with Google Earth (which is another in a long line of useful things to do when you're procrastinating about doing the work you're supposed to), and I managed to find the school! Here's the aerial shot:
And before you get all jealous, the pool was under construction when we left. That big green space? A real futbol field. The structure at the top of the picture was the elementary/junior high classrooms and the cafeteria/administrative offices are in the light colored building next to the pool.
Now I just need to find the house we lived in!
Thursday, August 25, 2005
It's good to know your limits
How much caffeine would it take to kill me?
After 104.76 cups of Brewed Coffee, you'd be pushing up daisies
Now I know. Do you want to know your limits?
After 104.76 cups of Brewed Coffee, you'd be pushing up daisies
Now I know. Do you want to know your limits?
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
There and back... again
This has been a summer full of travel, well, for my family at least. I've pretty much stayed put aside from a brief foray across the border in search of comedy.
Our family hasn't been together much this summer - they've all been off here and there, back and forth, to and fro, well, you get the picture.
The day after school ended, we sent daughters 2 & 3 off on a jet plane. The next day daughter 1 left. Then nothing much happened for about a month. Then daughters 2 & 3 came back. Two days later, daughter 2 left again. Eleven days later daughter 1 came home. Two days after that daughter 2 came home. Three days later, husband left, and three more days after that, daughter 3 left again.
Today husband gets home, and then in another three days daughter 3 gets home. Four days after that I leave and by the time I get home, school starts.
So, did you manage to keep track there? I did (though I guess I can cheat cause I have the calendar with everyone's travel plans on it in front of me). That makes three days together as a family so far and four next week. In the two months of summer, we only managed to be together for a total of a week!
Is this a having teenagers kind of thing, or just my travel bug family?
Our family hasn't been together much this summer - they've all been off here and there, back and forth, to and fro, well, you get the picture.
The day after school ended, we sent daughters 2 & 3 off on a jet plane. The next day daughter 1 left. Then nothing much happened for about a month. Then daughters 2 & 3 came back. Two days later, daughter 2 left again. Eleven days later daughter 1 came home. Two days after that daughter 2 came home. Three days later, husband left, and three more days after that, daughter 3 left again.
Today husband gets home, and then in another three days daughter 3 gets home. Four days after that I leave and by the time I get home, school starts.
So, did you manage to keep track there? I did (though I guess I can cheat cause I have the calendar with everyone's travel plans on it in front of me). That makes three days together as a family so far and four next week. In the two months of summer, we only managed to be together for a total of a week!
Is this a having teenagers kind of thing, or just my travel bug family?
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Thinking about weddings
I went to a perfectly beautiful wedding this weekend. I'm sure there were some behind the scenes moments when things didn't seem to go too well, but from a guest perspective, I think it was the most perfect wedding I've ever been to. Part of what made it perfect was that it was so uniquely them. No one else would've had their wedding quite the same - the personal touches were just so distinctly theirs that it felt like the day totally belonged to them.
Now, my perception might come from my actually quite limited experience with weddings. Not that I haven't been to many, but more because I feel like I've been to the same one several times. I come from a really large extended family (50+ aunts, uncles & cousins) on each side, and that doesn't include all those people that my cousins have married. Our family gatherings are pretty big - which is why they only take place every four years on my dad's side of the family, and every three to five years on my mom's. (My dad's family is pretty religious about following an Olympic-type schedule, whereas in my mom's family, no one has ever taken on the responsibility of making it regular, so it happens whenever it happens)
Thing is, both families closely adhere to our (their? not sure how I should reference this since I no longer practice) religion, so every wedding ceremony script sounds the same. The music is the same. The reception is the same. The food's the same. The jokes are the same. It was like going to the same wedding over and over again. As a child, I didn't realize that weddings could actually be any different. And the first secular wedding I ever attended was my own!
So I enjoyed and am very glad to have been invited to their wedding this weekend. From the readings to the song they chose for the first dance, it was all theirs.
Congratulations guys!
Now, my perception might come from my actually quite limited experience with weddings. Not that I haven't been to many, but more because I feel like I've been to the same one several times. I come from a really large extended family (50+ aunts, uncles & cousins) on each side, and that doesn't include all those people that my cousins have married. Our family gatherings are pretty big - which is why they only take place every four years on my dad's side of the family, and every three to five years on my mom's. (My dad's family is pretty religious about following an Olympic-type schedule, whereas in my mom's family, no one has ever taken on the responsibility of making it regular, so it happens whenever it happens)
Thing is, both families closely adhere to our (their? not sure how I should reference this since I no longer practice) religion, so every wedding ceremony script sounds the same. The music is the same. The reception is the same. The food's the same. The jokes are the same. It was like going to the same wedding over and over again. As a child, I didn't realize that weddings could actually be any different. And the first secular wedding I ever attended was my own!
So I enjoyed and am very glad to have been invited to their wedding this weekend. From the readings to the song they chose for the first dance, it was all theirs.
Congratulations guys!
Monday, August 22, 2005
And I've actually read this one!
Which Neil Gaiman book am I? Glad you asked!
You are Coraline! You are quirky, strange, and
charming. Some people may find you a little
alarming and not always get you... But they can
piss off, right? You are the kind of person who
always needs to be entertained, otherwise you
get uncomfortable. You probably still enjoy
everything you did when you were little, such
as childrens books and Disney movies. You're fun
to be around and are usually the life of the
party.
*~Which Neil Gaiman book are you?~*
brought to you by Quizilla
Cool!
You are Coraline! You are quirky, strange, and
charming. Some people may find you a little
alarming and not always get you... But they can
piss off, right? You are the kind of person who
always needs to be entertained, otherwise you
get uncomfortable. You probably still enjoy
everything you did when you were little, such
as childrens books and Disney movies. You're fun
to be around and are usually the life of the
party.
*~Which Neil Gaiman book are you?~*
brought to you by Quizilla
Cool!
Saturday, August 20, 2005
How misogynistic can you get?
So I followed a bunch of links till I eventually landed at this BBC news article. Apparently, one of their newsreaders is rather pissed that women seem to have all the media jobs. I guess he doesn't like the shoe on the other foot.
Then again, the article notes that two recent job changes at the BBC had a woman being replaced by a man, so I don't think he really needs to spray the door lintels at ever BBC studio with testosterone or anything to keep women away.
But the part that really got me was the last paragraph, a direct quote:
and making the house look untidy ... because that's all women care about, taking over the media and keeping the house clean.
Then again, the article notes that two recent job changes at the BBC had a woman being replaced by a man, so I don't think he really needs to spray the door lintels at ever BBC studio with testosterone or anything to keep women away.
But the part that really got me was the last paragraph, a direct quote:
"All they [men] are is sperm donors, and most women aren't going to want an unemployable sperm donor loafing around and making the house look untidy."
and making the house look untidy ... because that's all women care about, taking over the media and keeping the house clean.
More light?
I ran across an article in the local paper about the change in daylight savings time that is scheduled to begin in 2007. First time I even heard about it. In 2007, the U.S. intends to move the dates for daylight savings changeover three weeks earlier in spring and a week later in fall.
This is supposed to save energy.
This is Mr. Bush's solution to the energy crisis? It's a bit like putting weather stripping around the window but leaving the door wide open all winter. (and yes, I know there was more to the bill than DST, but not much)
The big concern that I've heard so far while reading up on it is that schoolchildren will walk to school in the dark for those few weeks. No problem around here. I think my kids are the only ones who actually walk to school (their school's are 10 minutes and 15 minutes away). They're constantly getting rides home from friend's parents, though I'm not sure why since there seems to be little call for it. Hmmm... maybe those friend's parents would give me a ride to the bus stop too? It's about as far from the house as their schools are. But I digress.
So now the question with daylight savings is whether Canada is going to follow suit. From what I've seen on the internet, there seems to be much more talk about the potential consquences of following suit than took place in the U.S. Several blogs and sites here seemed as surprised by the announcement as I was. The only ones that aren't are the techies who recognize the problems with producing flexible or two versions of software that recognizes time depending on which side of the border they'll be used on.
CTV actually has a pretty decent article on daylight savings and premiers' responses to the U.S.'s move to adopt the altered scheme. They bring up some pretty interesting points, and since we're much farther north, the concern about reducing the amount of light in the morning is a more serious question than in is in say Florida. And Florida doesn't ever have black ice either, which is difficult to see in the dark.
Wikipedia has a really good (and of course very up-to-date) entry for DST if you're curious.
This is supposed to save energy.
This is Mr. Bush's solution to the energy crisis? It's a bit like putting weather stripping around the window but leaving the door wide open all winter. (and yes, I know there was more to the bill than DST, but not much)
The big concern that I've heard so far while reading up on it is that schoolchildren will walk to school in the dark for those few weeks. No problem around here. I think my kids are the only ones who actually walk to school (their school's are 10 minutes and 15 minutes away). They're constantly getting rides home from friend's parents, though I'm not sure why since there seems to be little call for it. Hmmm... maybe those friend's parents would give me a ride to the bus stop too? It's about as far from the house as their schools are. But I digress.
So now the question with daylight savings is whether Canada is going to follow suit. From what I've seen on the internet, there seems to be much more talk about the potential consquences of following suit than took place in the U.S. Several blogs and sites here seemed as surprised by the announcement as I was. The only ones that aren't are the techies who recognize the problems with producing flexible or two versions of software that recognizes time depending on which side of the border they'll be used on.
CTV actually has a pretty decent article on daylight savings and premiers' responses to the U.S.'s move to adopt the altered scheme. They bring up some pretty interesting points, and since we're much farther north, the concern about reducing the amount of light in the morning is a more serious question than in is in say Florida. And Florida doesn't ever have black ice either, which is difficult to see in the dark.
Wikipedia has a really good (and of course very up-to-date) entry for DST if you're curious.
Friday, August 19, 2005
An Oak Tree? C'mon, I'm not that bad!
According to the Guardian's deadwood at work quiz:
You are the office oak tree, dedicated, sturdy and dependable. Shunning trivial water cooler conversations, instead you focus your energies on perfecting the 3-minute lunch. The thought of leaving the office with work left undone gives you a nervous twitch.
I didn't think it was that bad! Considering how much screwing around I've been doing this week, I think that survey must be flawed.
You are the office oak tree, dedicated, sturdy and dependable. Shunning trivial water cooler conversations, instead you focus your energies on perfecting the 3-minute lunch. The thought of leaving the office with work left undone gives you a nervous twitch.
I didn't think it was that bad! Considering how much screwing around I've been doing this week, I think that survey must be flawed.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
We still are smarter than computers
I've got this gmail address, you know, where you get ad banners in each message. I usually don't pay attention to them, but one caught my eye the other day, and got me wondering what other bloopers there were. They're supposed to be tied to the message content, but sometimes they're really off. For example:
In a message about arranging travel to a local wedding, one ad banner offered to help me get over my fear of driving. (What about fear of weddings?)
In another message about soccer practices for the week, I was offered help in dealing with fibromyalgia and the 'sleep secrets' of Einstein. (Because I always think of sleep when I think of soccer)
In an email asking for clarification on my teaching schedule, I got offered Grand Theft Auto, San Andreas, for FREE! (Should I be playing instead of teaching?)
In an email from a student asking what my office hours will be for the week of finals, I got offered postal uniforms for cheap. (Does this have anything to do with my feeling that I might end up 'going postal' when I talk to some of my students?)
In another email from a student setting up a time to meet, I got offered a cruise. (To make a quick getaway?)
In an email from an academic journal I subscribe to, I got job offers. (Are they trying to tell me something?)
In an invite to a going away party, I got offered autodial software for my office. (So I could pretend I wasn't home?)
In an email trying to arrange a day to meet for a movie, I got offered a new mattress. (What kind of movie did they think I was talking about?)
In a request from a colleague for to sub a class for her, I got offered "disturbing ghost footage" (Does this mean no students will show up for that class?)
And in an email from my writing group, I got offered a device that will be able to tell me if my drink has been spiked. (What kind of kinky writing group do they think this is?)
In a message about arranging travel to a local wedding, one ad banner offered to help me get over my fear of driving. (What about fear of weddings?)
In another message about soccer practices for the week, I was offered help in dealing with fibromyalgia and the 'sleep secrets' of Einstein. (Because I always think of sleep when I think of soccer)
In an email asking for clarification on my teaching schedule, I got offered Grand Theft Auto, San Andreas, for FREE! (Should I be playing instead of teaching?)
In an email from a student asking what my office hours will be for the week of finals, I got offered postal uniforms for cheap. (Does this have anything to do with my feeling that I might end up 'going postal' when I talk to some of my students?)
In another email from a student setting up a time to meet, I got offered a cruise. (To make a quick getaway?)
In an email from an academic journal I subscribe to, I got job offers. (Are they trying to tell me something?)
In an invite to a going away party, I got offered autodial software for my office. (So I could pretend I wasn't home?)
In an email trying to arrange a day to meet for a movie, I got offered a new mattress. (What kind of movie did they think I was talking about?)
In a request from a colleague for to sub a class for her, I got offered "disturbing ghost footage" (Does this mean no students will show up for that class?)
And in an email from my writing group, I got offered a device that will be able to tell me if my drink has been spiked. (What kind of kinky writing group do they think this is?)
Check it out!
I'm a member of a new blog started by a good friend who will soon be moving... *sob* but I'm looking forward to hearing all her travel and new home adventures via blog. Check it out!
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
One BIG Book!
Finished reading Joyce's Ulysses. Took me eight days.
It's a very long and dense book which is really hard to follow at times because so much of it is internal. It's also highly narcissitic of course (can you use that term for a book?) What I mean is that as a book, it spends a lot of time navel-gazing, or at least it's characters do. It's a hard book to write a plot summary about because there's so much internalization, and I come away from it with more of a general sense of the language and sound of the book than any meaning.
At least I can say I've read it.
It's a very long and dense book which is really hard to follow at times because so much of it is internal. It's also highly narcissitic of course (can you use that term for a book?) What I mean is that as a book, it spends a lot of time navel-gazing, or at least it's characters do. It's a hard book to write a plot summary about because there's so much internalization, and I come away from it with more of a general sense of the language and sound of the book than any meaning.
At least I can say I've read it.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Tagged by a meme a.k.a. 15 things I've done you probably haven't
Fifteen things? I don't know that I can get to 15... or that I want to publicly tell all the things I've done that you probably haven't. But here goes...
- I've lived in Brasil
- I've had a turtle for a pet.
- I prepared and filed my own divorce papers without needing a lawyer.
- I moved 3000 miles without knowing where I was gonna live when I got there.
- I got married 36 hours after the proposal.
- The only wedding invitation I gave out was written on a Post-It note.
- I shook hands with Charles, Prince of Wales.
- I've stood with one foot on each side of the equator.
- I ran away from home at the age of 6 because I didn't want to eat my vegetables.
- I've conducted research at the British Library.
- I've made Kiwi wine.
- I got my first cavity when I was 26.
- I've played flashlight tag in Paraguay.
- I've driven 1000 km roundtrip in one day just to see a band play.
- I've cooked a month's worth of food in one day.
Striking more things off the list
I drank Honduran coffee this morning, compliments of my lovely daughter who arrived safely back from Central America with all limbs intact, a craving for chocolate, and her passport!
*whew*
*whew*
Friday, August 12, 2005
I have nothing to say
But I have spent a little time playing around with the blog itself. The "What I've been reading lately" link (on your left) has been updated - 34 out of those 50 books I challenged myself to read this year - looking good!
Just below you might notice a similar link "What I've been writing lately", which is new of course. I hope you enjoy! (lemme know what you think)
Just below you might notice a similar link "What I've been writing lately", which is new of course. I hope you enjoy! (lemme know what you think)
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Booker Prize
Today the longlist for the Man Booker Prize was announced.
The Harmony Silk Factory by Tash Aw
The Sea by John Banville
Arthur & George by Julian Barnes
A Long Long Way by Sebastian Barry
Slow Man by J. M. Coetzee
In the Fold by Rachel Cusk
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
All For Love by Dan Jacobson
A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian by Marina Lewycka
Beyond Black by Hilary Mantel
Saturday by Ian McEwan
The People’s Act of Love by James Meek
Shalimar The Clown by Salman Rushdie
The Accidental by Ali Smith
On Beauty by Zadie Smith
This Thing Of Darkness by Harry Thompson
This Is The Country by William Wall
As a would-be scholar in contemporary Brit lit, I'm a little disturbed to discover: a) I don't recognize/know anything about some of these authors; b) I wasn't even aware that two of my favorite authors who are on the list had books coming out this year; and c) so far, I've only read one of these books.
In all fairness, several of the books on the list haven't been released yet (September or later for the hardcover), and although I've only read one on the list, another is coming in the mail (ordered before this announcement). But still, I really should at least have a passing familiarity with Booker nominated authors/books to call myself a contemporary Brit lit scholar.
Then again, I have so little time to read my comps stuff, let alone anything else, that maybe I'll just wait for the shortlist to be published and read that.
The Harmony Silk Factory by Tash Aw
The Sea by John Banville
Arthur & George by Julian Barnes
A Long Long Way by Sebastian Barry
Slow Man by J. M. Coetzee
In the Fold by Rachel Cusk
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
All For Love by Dan Jacobson
A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian by Marina Lewycka
Beyond Black by Hilary Mantel
Saturday by Ian McEwan
The People’s Act of Love by James Meek
Shalimar The Clown by Salman Rushdie
The Accidental by Ali Smith
On Beauty by Zadie Smith
This Thing Of Darkness by Harry Thompson
This Is The Country by William Wall
As a would-be scholar in contemporary Brit lit, I'm a little disturbed to discover: a) I don't recognize/know anything about some of these authors; b) I wasn't even aware that two of my favorite authors who are on the list had books coming out this year; and c) so far, I've only read one of these books.
In all fairness, several of the books on the list haven't been released yet (September or later for the hardcover), and although I've only read one on the list, another is coming in the mail (ordered before this announcement). But still, I really should at least have a passing familiarity with Booker nominated authors/books to call myself a contemporary Brit lit scholar.
Then again, I have so little time to read my comps stuff, let alone anything else, that maybe I'll just wait for the shortlist to be published and read that.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Such a klutz!
I awoke this morning to reasonable summer temperatures and the intention of going running. But first, I was going to walk over the mailbox and send off the applications I had filled out last night.
Klutz that I am, I stepped of the curb wrong, twisted my ankle, and took about four layers of skin off my knee... yes, I know there's only three layers, and yes, I probably only penetrated to the second one, but it feels like more!
And it hurts like a SOB. The skin will heal, that I'm not worried about, it's the twisted ankle that I worry about. It's on the leg that I tore a muscle on two years ago, which is still stiff sometimes. At least it's not swollen - that's probably a good sign that there' no permanent damage.
But dammit! I hate being a klutz!
Klutz that I am, I stepped of the curb wrong, twisted my ankle, and took about four layers of skin off my knee... yes, I know there's only three layers, and yes, I probably only penetrated to the second one, but it feels like more!
And it hurts like a SOB. The skin will heal, that I'm not worried about, it's the twisted ankle that I worry about. It's on the leg that I tore a muscle on two years ago, which is still stiff sometimes. At least it's not swollen - that's probably a good sign that there' no permanent damage.
But dammit! I hate being a klutz!
Monday, August 08, 2005
Striking things off the list
Thanks to my supervisor (who's my hero), I can strike 2 preps for fall off my worry list.
- Teaching -
seem to be getting stuck with 2 preps for the fall, which means extra pressure on the get them written when I want to part of exam worry.
Which means that I can also ratchet down a notch the exam worry, which is all good 'cause it was getting up there into the realm of getting-really-tough-to-handle. I also had an idea about dissertation - I don't know whether my hypothesis has any weight to it - I'd have to do a LOT of reading - but it's a potential approach to the material that could at least get me started.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
"Reading"
Since Dracula is on my reading list, and I haven't read it for a few years (no, I didn't read it for the Victorian class I audited last year 'cause I wasn't going to be at those classes anyway), I figure I should read it. What a better way to read it than the way it was written - by the day?
So I've been reading along on the Dracula Blogged site. It's not only an interesting way to experience the book - following along as the story unfolds day after day - but it's also really interesting to read a Victorian novel as a blog. [Dracula arrives in England next week, so the action will really start heating up soon!]
Blog reading is different than reading a novel (it's one of the topics for discussion with my students when we do the weblog sequence), in part because of its chronological nature. You read entries in reverse chronology, so the first time you reach a site, you read the newest posts first, eventually working your way back in time. Of course you can jump around in the archives, but that's another feature of the weblog that's different from novels. You could read a novel by jumping around from chapter to chapter, but it might not make sense, and a mystery novel will be entirely ruined by reading it this way, whereas the posts of a blog are discreet entries, even when they refer to earlier posts (whether directly linked or simply as parts of the story that the reader should already know).
The hyperlinks and division into posts make it possible for the reader to 'create' the text during the act of reading by selecting which parts of the blog to read, or which links to follow, but the reader also has the opportunity of creating the blog by responding to it in the comments section. In Dracula Blogged, there's also a comments section, which includes not only the blogger's comments on the book, but other's comments about the action of the story. There have been some interesting discussions of Dracula's sexuality, character motivations, and even close textual reading that reveals (or doesn't) the reactions of characters. I find the comments section, while sometimes not revealing anything I wasn't aware of, is an interesting pedagogical tool in this case, with the blogger drawing attention to details that will later be important, or playing devil's advocate about received criticism about the book, or even posing questions for other commenters to respond to.
It's definitely a different way to read a Victorian novel!
So I've been reading along on the Dracula Blogged site. It's not only an interesting way to experience the book - following along as the story unfolds day after day - but it's also really interesting to read a Victorian novel as a blog. [Dracula arrives in England next week, so the action will really start heating up soon!]
Blog reading is different than reading a novel (it's one of the topics for discussion with my students when we do the weblog sequence), in part because of its chronological nature. You read entries in reverse chronology, so the first time you reach a site, you read the newest posts first, eventually working your way back in time. Of course you can jump around in the archives, but that's another feature of the weblog that's different from novels. You could read a novel by jumping around from chapter to chapter, but it might not make sense, and a mystery novel will be entirely ruined by reading it this way, whereas the posts of a blog are discreet entries, even when they refer to earlier posts (whether directly linked or simply as parts of the story that the reader should already know).
The hyperlinks and division into posts make it possible for the reader to 'create' the text during the act of reading by selecting which parts of the blog to read, or which links to follow, but the reader also has the opportunity of creating the blog by responding to it in the comments section. In Dracula Blogged, there's also a comments section, which includes not only the blogger's comments on the book, but other's comments about the action of the story. There have been some interesting discussions of Dracula's sexuality, character motivations, and even close textual reading that reveals (or doesn't) the reactions of characters. I find the comments section, while sometimes not revealing anything I wasn't aware of, is an interesting pedagogical tool in this case, with the blogger drawing attention to details that will later be important, or playing devil's advocate about received criticism about the book, or even posing questions for other commenters to respond to.
It's definitely a different way to read a Victorian novel!
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
The worry list
Thought it was time to update my worry list. Some of it's old, but some of it's new.
- Exams - what isn't there to worry about this? I'm not smart enough, my field statements won't be comprehensive enough, I'll get questions I can't answer, I'll fail the exams, I won't write them when I want to, I'll get kicked out of the program (because I failed them) etc.
- Daughter in Honduras - strange customs/food/fauna, homesickness, illness... lots of stuff could be going wrong here.
- Teaching - seem to be getting stuck with 2 preps for the fall, which means extra pressure on the get them written when I want to part of exam worry
- Daughter in NH - she's not in Honduras, but it's her first long stint alone, and she's working, and I hope she's liking it and not missing home too much.
- Tuition - not mine, his. We don't know where this is coming from yet.
- Daughter who graduates high school next year - marks this year weren't so good, which means scholarships are out the window (see "tuition" above)
- Daughter who has decided not to read this summer - worth worrying about? maybe not - but it's unusual, and I'm hoping it's just a summer thing and not indicative of a bigger attitude thing.
On the bright side, a chat with a friend, while not actually eliminating any of the things that I'm worrying about, cheered me up and made me think that I just worry too much!
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Like a football (or maybe a soccer ball)
I've always suspected that the book publishing industry has a logic all its own, and Neil's post about publishing confirms this. He describes how book contracts have divided up English-language publishing into 'territories' that really have little or only archaic relationships to the political territories they correspond to.
I like how my country gets tossed around between the US, UK and its own autonomous publishing sovereignty when it comes to book rights. I also wonder what difference this makes in price, since it always seems that buying any book in US dollars instead of CDN is always cheaper, even with a favorable exchange rate.
I never buy books when I go home - it's not worth it, even if they're hard to find here, though I did pick up two CDs last trip - the Rush makes #10 (yeah, it's an old one, but we didn't have it) and the Nelly was inexpensive. I hadn't heard any of it before picking it up, but I'm glad I did 'cause I'm liking it even better than her first album. I probably could've gotten them both here, but it was fun to do the browsing on the other side of the border.
For bookselling purposes Australia is normally a UK territory (unless the UK edition doesn't come out within 30 days of the US edition, in which case it becomes an Open Territory), Canada is always a battleground claimed by one side or the other (Good Omens had Canada as UK territory, but all my novels since have had it as US territory)and sometimes it even gets to be Canadian Territory, Singapore regards itself as an open territory and is listed in US contracts as being open territory, but tends to turn up in UK contracts as UK territory (as does most of the Commonwealth and former Commonwealth). Ireland is a UK territory too.
I like how my country gets tossed around between the US, UK and its own autonomous publishing sovereignty when it comes to book rights. I also wonder what difference this makes in price, since it always seems that buying any book in US dollars instead of CDN is always cheaper, even with a favorable exchange rate.
I never buy books when I go home - it's not worth it, even if they're hard to find here, though I did pick up two CDs last trip - the Rush makes #10 (yeah, it's an old one, but we didn't have it) and the Nelly was inexpensive. I hadn't heard any of it before picking it up, but I'm glad I did 'cause I'm liking it even better than her first album. I probably could've gotten them both here, but it was fun to do the browsing on the other side of the border.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Skirmishes on the playground
Apparently my country is now posturing with the Danes over a small island between Greenland and Ellesmere Island - why are we doing this? I don't know. But each side is staking its claim...repeatedly. Frankly, I think it's kinda interesting how this disagreement has been going on for three decades now, with each side routinely claiming the 1.3 km island and I'm pretty impressed that the solution has been to agree to disagree.
I'm particularly amused by the Ottawa Citizen cartoon depicting how Canada might stake its claim to the island.
I'm particularly amused by the Ottawa Citizen cartoon depicting how Canada might stake its claim to the island.
They're ba-ack!
It's good to have at least two kids back. They enjoyed their time away. We enjoyed their time away. Now we enjoy our time together. This is the beauty of families - you love them when they're gone, and you love them when you get together again. My only regret is that I didn't get to take a month off and go with them and hang out at home again!
And the fridge is full again, but it won't be for long!
Our reunion is short lived though since one daughter leaves again tomorrow to go be a vacation nanny for two weeks in NH, so we'll get the joy of seeing her return home again - probably about the same time her older sister gets back from Honduras. That'll be a busy weekend too.
I love my family.
And the fridge is full again, but it won't be for long!
Our reunion is short lived though since one daughter leaves again tomorrow to go be a vacation nanny for two weeks in NH, so we'll get the joy of seeing her return home again - probably about the same time her older sister gets back from Honduras. That'll be a busy weekend too.
I love my family.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
I hate days like this
Today has been one of those days that creep up on you and ruin all your plans. I knew when I got up this morning I had some errands and small stuff to do - I just didn't realize it would take all day, and I had expected to get several hours of reading done as well.
Needless to say, I haven't read anything but email so far today. And since the two youngest get home in a couple of hours, I'm sure I won't get anything done later today either.
I wouldn't mind so much if I felt like I'd accomplished something, but so far, my hands just ache, and I still didn't finish the minor car repairs that need to be done - mostly because I have wrong parts/not enough parts/not enough brains to figure out why what I'm doing isn't working.
I guess I can take solace in the fact that there's food in the house for when the kids get back...
Needless to say, I haven't read anything but email so far today. And since the two youngest get home in a couple of hours, I'm sure I won't get anything done later today either.
I wouldn't mind so much if I felt like I'd accomplished something, but so far, my hands just ache, and I still didn't finish the minor car repairs that need to be done - mostly because I have wrong parts/not enough parts/not enough brains to figure out why what I'm doing isn't working.
I guess I can take solace in the fact that there's food in the house for when the kids get back...
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Montreal
I really liked our visit to Montreal - I'd never been there before and at one point, we turned to each other and said things along the lines of 'If McGill has a program/job that one of us could take, we should consider it'. That's how much we liked the city.
The thing that really fascinated me about Montreal was the bilingualism. The official two languages of Canada are pretty much invisible in most of the rest of the country (government signage and packaging contain both, but not much else is evidence that there are two official languages). In Montreal, all signage is in French with only occasional English subtitles, and everyone who works retails seems to be fluent in both languages. Which is really kinda cool!
Language was the thing that had me worried about going on this trip - well, that and border crossing (but that always has me a bit nervous these days) - my French is not good - signs, packages, simple directions I'm okay on (you know, lots of nouns) but with longer things like a newspaper, and speech, I'm at a loss. I'm pretty sure I've forgotten almost everything I learnt in school. But we managed just fine - although I didn't attempt much French because I've retained so little of it, we got through fine. I did worry that we would find ourselves in a situation where we'd get stuck, but we were in the tourist areas, so it was never a problem. There was one salesclerk who walked away from us when we talked to her, but after watching her for a moment, I think the reason wasn't the language but just that she was a bitch.
It's also a very clean city - even the panhandlers seemed polite. Old Montreal is really neat, as is the shoreline and the view from the hills just above downtown (where we were staying) was beautiful. We rented an apartment for the weekend, that cost less than a hotel and had a kitchenette as well as including continental breakfast (a nice one too - no skimping there) in what our landlord informed us was the 'McGill ghetto', presumably because we were four blocks from the university and lots of students lived there. Really nice place - not quite what I think of when I think ghetto - but then again, can't say I've ever seen a Canadian ghetto before, so maybe there are more ghettos down east that are just as pretty.
Eddie was great! He made all kinds of jokes about the Queen - I'll never again be able to listen to 'God save the Queen' in quite the same way as before - and he showed us how to make the queen smile by creasing the $20 bill. He made an impromptu airplane which didn't fly and therefor prompted the only heckle of the night. He had told the audience just before his failed paper airplane that he was now a pilot, and the heckle was obviously something to that effect, since he replied in typical Eddie style, "but madam, I don't have to fold my airplane before I fly it". He was the perfect entertainer for that audience - fluent in French (though the show was mostly in English) and cracking jokes that he wouldn't be able to do in a show in America 'cause no one would get them.
We also saw 'The Daily Show: Secrets Revealed' with Stephen Colbert and Samantha Bee which was a kind of roundtable with question period afterwards. It was also amusing. I wanted to try to get into the new Family Guy DVD screening (it doesn't get released till September), but the timing was too close to a show that we already had tickets for and we didn't want to miss out on the second one.
I'm glad we went, and I hope I can catch the festival again next year. The kids also want to go, so maybe we can take them up there over one of the fall holidays or something, so they can see it too.
We spent an extra night after the festival camping in northern Vermont before heading all the way back home. I'm happy to say that all three border encounters were just fine. Although the line was longer at St. Armand than it ever is at St. Stephens (in NB), we were waved right through. At the NB crossing, we've had to pull over and go into the office each time. We even went through the border patrol at the VT/NH border without any problems, though what or who they were looking for there, we couldn't tell. We at first thought drugs because there was a dog, but there was only a dog on the one line, and then we thought some other kind of smuggling because the only vehicle in front of us to produce ID was a guy in a truck, but then we thought they must've been looking for someone, because the only question they asked was where we were born and our citizenship. Odd. Does this happen often I wonder? We were already about 100 miles away from the border when this patrol stopped us, so I wonder what the purpose was.
Speaking of mileage, the car rolled over on the way back - 200,000 kms ! and it's still ticking... though I wonder for how much longer that will last...
Going to Canada from here always feels a bit weird. I feel like I'm going home when I go up there, and I feel like I'm coming home when I come back across the border. It's very strange to feel that you're going home both ways.
The thing that really fascinated me about Montreal was the bilingualism. The official two languages of Canada are pretty much invisible in most of the rest of the country (government signage and packaging contain both, but not much else is evidence that there are two official languages). In Montreal, all signage is in French with only occasional English subtitles, and everyone who works retails seems to be fluent in both languages. Which is really kinda cool!
Language was the thing that had me worried about going on this trip - well, that and border crossing (but that always has me a bit nervous these days) - my French is not good - signs, packages, simple directions I'm okay on (you know, lots of nouns) but with longer things like a newspaper, and speech, I'm at a loss. I'm pretty sure I've forgotten almost everything I learnt in school. But we managed just fine - although I didn't attempt much French because I've retained so little of it, we got through fine. I did worry that we would find ourselves in a situation where we'd get stuck, but we were in the tourist areas, so it was never a problem. There was one salesclerk who walked away from us when we talked to her, but after watching her for a moment, I think the reason wasn't the language but just that she was a bitch.
It's also a very clean city - even the panhandlers seemed polite. Old Montreal is really neat, as is the shoreline and the view from the hills just above downtown (where we were staying) was beautiful. We rented an apartment for the weekend, that cost less than a hotel and had a kitchenette as well as including continental breakfast (a nice one too - no skimping there) in what our landlord informed us was the 'McGill ghetto', presumably because we were four blocks from the university and lots of students lived there. Really nice place - not quite what I think of when I think ghetto - but then again, can't say I've ever seen a Canadian ghetto before, so maybe there are more ghettos down east that are just as pretty.
Eddie was great! He made all kinds of jokes about the Queen - I'll never again be able to listen to 'God save the Queen' in quite the same way as before - and he showed us how to make the queen smile by creasing the $20 bill. He made an impromptu airplane which didn't fly and therefor prompted the only heckle of the night. He had told the audience just before his failed paper airplane that he was now a pilot, and the heckle was obviously something to that effect, since he replied in typical Eddie style, "but madam, I don't have to fold my airplane before I fly it". He was the perfect entertainer for that audience - fluent in French (though the show was mostly in English) and cracking jokes that he wouldn't be able to do in a show in America 'cause no one would get them.
We also saw 'The Daily Show: Secrets Revealed' with Stephen Colbert and Samantha Bee which was a kind of roundtable with question period afterwards. It was also amusing. I wanted to try to get into the new Family Guy DVD screening (it doesn't get released till September), but the timing was too close to a show that we already had tickets for and we didn't want to miss out on the second one.
I'm glad we went, and I hope I can catch the festival again next year. The kids also want to go, so maybe we can take them up there over one of the fall holidays or something, so they can see it too.
We spent an extra night after the festival camping in northern Vermont before heading all the way back home. I'm happy to say that all three border encounters were just fine. Although the line was longer at St. Armand than it ever is at St. Stephens (in NB), we were waved right through. At the NB crossing, we've had to pull over and go into the office each time. We even went through the border patrol at the VT/NH border without any problems, though what or who they were looking for there, we couldn't tell. We at first thought drugs because there was a dog, but there was only a dog on the one line, and then we thought some other kind of smuggling because the only vehicle in front of us to produce ID was a guy in a truck, but then we thought they must've been looking for someone, because the only question they asked was where we were born and our citizenship. Odd. Does this happen often I wonder? We were already about 100 miles away from the border when this patrol stopped us, so I wonder what the purpose was.
Speaking of mileage, the car rolled over on the way back - 200,000 kms ! and it's still ticking... though I wonder for how much longer that will last...
Going to Canada from here always feels a bit weird. I feel like I'm going home when I go up there, and I feel like I'm coming home when I come back across the border. It's very strange to feel that you're going home both ways.
Isn't language fabulous?
Consider the phrase "The sun never sets on the British Empire".
If you type that phrase into google, among the results you'll the following two hits: one that proposes that America step down as a superpower, and the other which celebrates and encourages even greater "superpower" efforts in the world.
Notice how neither of them are about Britain? They've just appropriated the phrase from Christopher North's editorial in 1829 and applied it to another nation. It's also interesting to see how one phrase can become so loaded with meaning that it can not only be transposed entirely out of context, but can also be used within two diametrically opposed pieces.
The flexibility within language to bend and be shaped by such different wills and to such different purposes is fascinating - reminds me why I'm in this business.
If you type that phrase into google, among the results you'll the following two hits: one that proposes that America step down as a superpower, and the other which celebrates and encourages even greater "superpower" efforts in the world.
Notice how neither of them are about Britain? They've just appropriated the phrase from Christopher North's editorial in 1829 and applied it to another nation. It's also interesting to see how one phrase can become so loaded with meaning that it can not only be transposed entirely out of context, but can also be used within two diametrically opposed pieces.
The flexibility within language to bend and be shaped by such different wills and to such different purposes is fascinating - reminds me why I'm in this business.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
There and back again
Loved the weekend in Montreal - can't promise as much description and pictures as my good friend's TO trip, but I'll blog soon.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
She's alive* I survived** It's all good
*Honduras daughter called - she has all her limbs still in place.
**I marked 14 AWD third drafts today. That's my record and I never want to repeat it again!
But now I can leave for the weekend feeling good!
**I marked 14 AWD third drafts today. That's my record and I never want to repeat it again!
But now I can leave for the weekend feeling good!
good news... more (unexpected) good news... lots of boring work... more good stuff
What more could a girl want?
Yesterday started out so horribly and ended so wonderfully that it kinda feels like it was a week's worth of stuff. I was so tired in the morning that I totally forgot it was my anniversary and so I didn't say anything to D before we left, which kinda bummed me when I realized it, and then teaching didn't go so good, and then I had some quick errands that ate up time and the day was shaping up to be pretty normal.
But then when I got to the department, I went to a dissertation defense (and actually understood some of it 'cause it was late nineteenth century stuff) where I saw not only the comps supervisor who I was expecting to talk to, but one who I have been emailing for a couple of weeks, nagging her to read my list. She seemed a bit surprised to see me, but being the professional that she is, recovered well and promised to chat. Hooray!
I must admit I did have difficulty concentrating in the defense because I kept wondering whether the two comps conversations I was going to have by the end of the day were going to be good or just get worse. Obviously from the title of this post, they went good. One list is entirely approved - wahoo! and the other is pretty much approved, with some minor changes, and, AND, the stuff that I'd earlier been told to scrap because I didn't need it, is now back on (with those minor changes), so I didn't waste all that time!
This is cool beans in local (teen) parlance.
Now I have another 11 or 12 hours of third draft marking - ugh, ugh, ugh! (I might have to finish the champagne we opened last night before making it through them all)
But then it's off to Montreal for the weekend! The comedy festival and my first visit to the city at the same time... can't get any better... just as long as losing your passport isn't a genetic thing...
Yesterday started out so horribly and ended so wonderfully that it kinda feels like it was a week's worth of stuff. I was so tired in the morning that I totally forgot it was my anniversary and so I didn't say anything to D before we left, which kinda bummed me when I realized it, and then teaching didn't go so good, and then I had some quick errands that ate up time and the day was shaping up to be pretty normal.
But then when I got to the department, I went to a dissertation defense (and actually understood some of it 'cause it was late nineteenth century stuff) where I saw not only the comps supervisor who I was expecting to talk to, but one who I have been emailing for a couple of weeks, nagging her to read my list. She seemed a bit surprised to see me, but being the professional that she is, recovered well and promised to chat. Hooray!
I must admit I did have difficulty concentrating in the defense because I kept wondering whether the two comps conversations I was going to have by the end of the day were going to be good or just get worse. Obviously from the title of this post, they went good. One list is entirely approved - wahoo! and the other is pretty much approved, with some minor changes, and, AND, the stuff that I'd earlier been told to scrap because I didn't need it, is now back on (with those minor changes), so I didn't waste all that time!
This is cool beans in local (teen) parlance.
Now I have another 11 or 12 hours of third draft marking - ugh, ugh, ugh! (I might have to finish the champagne we opened last night before making it through them all)
But then it's off to Montreal for the weekend! The comedy festival and my first visit to the city at the same time... can't get any better... just as long as losing your passport isn't a genetic thing...
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
So why can some people do it, and not others?
I've been taking the reading that doesn't have me tied to a computer out to the pool on occasion, which is just really nice. I read for a bit, and then I hop in the pool, floating there, thinking about the stuff I've just read - it's really a pretty ideal way to study.
But it's not an ideal way to study when there's too much else going on around me. I don't mean the kids playing and splashing in that pool - that's ambient background noise, and having three of my own, I've gotten pretty good at ignoring that stuff. It's conversations that distract me. Probably 'cause they're words. And I like words. A lot.
Now, I don't expect the pool to be a study place - if I want absolute silence, I should stay home (these days with the kids gone, that's possible), or go to the library. So I always bring my walkman. I usually select a seat that's far away from any groups that are already there when I arrive, so that I don't catch conversations, but sometimes people come in after I've settled in and start talking.
But some of them are alone.
That's what got me thinking. Are some people simply incapable of sitting - either sunning themselves or watching kids - without talking? The cell phone has made it possible for a person to never really have to be alone, and there are some people who seem to need their cell phone for that reason. There's one woman who regularly comes to the pool whose cell phone is constantly going off, and she usually comes with another friend, so either way, she's talking the whole time she's there.
Today when I arrived, I chose a spot at the far end - there were two people already there, but they were both regulars. One just lies quietly, not really doing much, and the other guy likes to talk, but after we've exchanged pleasantries, if I pick up my book, he gets the hint and lets me read.
Then a woman and her two children arrived. The kids hopped in the pool right away and she whipped out her cell phone. In response to the callee's response, she said, "Oh, well then I won't keep you long." (Which is why I didn't initially reach for the walkman) But then she proceeded to talk for another ten minutes. When she finally hung up, she immediately dialed someone else and was talking to a third when she called her kids out of the pool and left only a half hour later. She didn't strike me as a business woman trying to multitask by taking her kids to the pool while working the phone, since the conversations were pitched at a loud enough level for me to discern they were of a personal nature, not professional.
I wondered if I see this woman again, will she again be on the phone for the whole pool visit?
I've seen enough bus people and enough students to observe how some people can't seem to sit without doing something at all times, and therefor have to whip out their phone either to call someone or play games anytime they are required to sit still for a while.
I know not everyone likes to read and I suppose my early enforced religious education taught me to sit still and quiet for long periods of time - oh so very long to a young child! - but I wonder if some people just take to quiet activities better than others, who need the greater stimulation of a voice on the other end of the line. And, what did those people do before the invention of the cell phone?
But it's not an ideal way to study when there's too much else going on around me. I don't mean the kids playing and splashing in that pool - that's ambient background noise, and having three of my own, I've gotten pretty good at ignoring that stuff. It's conversations that distract me. Probably 'cause they're words. And I like words. A lot.
Now, I don't expect the pool to be a study place - if I want absolute silence, I should stay home (these days with the kids gone, that's possible), or go to the library. So I always bring my walkman. I usually select a seat that's far away from any groups that are already there when I arrive, so that I don't catch conversations, but sometimes people come in after I've settled in and start talking.
But some of them are alone.
That's what got me thinking. Are some people simply incapable of sitting - either sunning themselves or watching kids - without talking? The cell phone has made it possible for a person to never really have to be alone, and there are some people who seem to need their cell phone for that reason. There's one woman who regularly comes to the pool whose cell phone is constantly going off, and she usually comes with another friend, so either way, she's talking the whole time she's there.
Today when I arrived, I chose a spot at the far end - there were two people already there, but they were both regulars. One just lies quietly, not really doing much, and the other guy likes to talk, but after we've exchanged pleasantries, if I pick up my book, he gets the hint and lets me read.
Then a woman and her two children arrived. The kids hopped in the pool right away and she whipped out her cell phone. In response to the callee's response, she said, "Oh, well then I won't keep you long." (Which is why I didn't initially reach for the walkman) But then she proceeded to talk for another ten minutes. When she finally hung up, she immediately dialed someone else and was talking to a third when she called her kids out of the pool and left only a half hour later. She didn't strike me as a business woman trying to multitask by taking her kids to the pool while working the phone, since the conversations were pitched at a loud enough level for me to discern they were of a personal nature, not professional.
I wondered if I see this woman again, will she again be on the phone for the whole pool visit?
I've seen enough bus people and enough students to observe how some people can't seem to sit without doing something at all times, and therefor have to whip out their phone either to call someone or play games anytime they are required to sit still for a while.
I know not everyone likes to read and I suppose my early enforced religious education taught me to sit still and quiet for long periods of time - oh so very long to a young child! - but I wonder if some people just take to quiet activities better than others, who need the greater stimulation of a voice on the other end of the line. And, what did those people do before the invention of the cell phone?
Monday, July 18, 2005
Easy living
I gotta say, I'm loving these weekends that involve parties, beaches, bridal showers, watching movies, sleeping in, etc.
Eleven or so years of post secondary education made me forget that weekends can actually be fun - the last several years, they've just been opportunities to get work done, which, when you think of it, is kinda a suck-ass way to spend your weekends.
Eleven or so years of post secondary education made me forget that weekends can actually be fun - the last several years, they've just been opportunities to get work done, which, when you think of it, is kinda a suck-ass way to spend your weekends.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
You know you live in a small town when...
... you pick up the local paper with the headline "Store 24 Robbed Again" and they don't have to say which Store 24 because there is only one.
Friday, July 15, 2005
At least I have something to look forward to in fall
The week has been a rather lacklustre one - a lot of work, some of it dull, some of it just busywork, and some of it just plain screwed up. I feel like I've done too much walking, too much waiting in lines, too much running around (including making sure that I still get a paycheque this week). Part of the problem also is that I'm trying to sift through the comments generated by submitting a list last week and finding the task daunting.
There have been highlights, like booking our weekend in Montreal, the writing group, and the news that there will be hockey next year - about time, guys! My weekend looks like it will be fun - now I just need to finish this week's work before I can enjoy it!
There have been highlights, like booking our weekend in Montreal, the writing group, and the news that there will be hockey next year - about time, guys! My weekend looks like it will be fun - now I just need to finish this week's work before I can enjoy it!
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Monday, July 11, 2005
Food for Thought
Ran across this article about the dangers of blogging in academia at the Chronicle of Higher Education (courtesy Bitch. Ph.D.).
Of course I know all about being dooced, and I'd certainly wondered about my own potential position once I seriously re-enter the job market (I don't count packing textbooks into boxes last summer as a serious foray into workspace).
But now this Chronicle article has got me wondering yet again whether I should keep doing this or not. I began the blog frankly, because I'm lazy. I found after I moved, that I wanted to keep in touch with my friends back home, but would also get tired of writing the same things in emails to different people. And when I would try and change things up, I'd try to write about something different in my life to everyone I was emailing. But then I would forget who I had told what, and sometimes I'd get these confused responses because I'd tell the sequel to a story to someone who hadn't heard the first part of it!
So I started blogging thinking that everyone could just read about what I'm doing and I wouldn't a) repeat myself, b) tell someone only half a story, or c) be a delinquent emailer and only send an email once a year because I got tired of repeating myself etc. Now I just do it 'cause I like it. And I also think it's helped me loosen up in my academic writing, like all this blogging just lets me play with words so often that it's much easier to sit down and try to write serious ones.
Not many people read this thing (check out the statmeter), which is cool with me - the people who want to know (or who might be mildly amused at my so called life) read. Those who don't want to, don't. Their loss. So, I don't have a wide presence out there in the world wide gossip-monger. And I've tried to be fairly non-descript. Sure, you know some stuff about me. But chances are that's 'cause you know me in person (or think you do!), not because of what I say here. Even if you didn't know me in person, you're probably mostly going to know general things - even my recent rant about my university is probably pretty innocuous since I live in the greater Boston area and there's something like a gajillion schools here.
But this is the part of the article that gets me thinking:
Huh?!
Okay, so I've worked in HR before - small company/non-profit - but I think I've interviewed enough people and screened enough applicants to know that past behaviour IS a good predictor of future behaviour - it's the whole idea behind Behavioral Descriptive interviewing. Note: 70% of the time BDI finds the behaviors employers want as opposed to 20% for traditional inteviews.
Believe me, BDI works. It's pretty hard to lie to a BDI question unless the candidate has prepared a script ahead of time. The questions are generally broadly enough based that you can evaluate almost any behavior or attitude type you need for the job at hand (what's sometimes actually less accurate is figuring out what kind of behaviors you value for a given position). The lesson? Past behaviour IS a good indicator of future behavior. Someone who is professional and discrete enough before being hired will continue to be professional and discrete after they sign the contract.
Also makes a good case for people in academia who have non-academia-type skills, you know, who might know that BDI works... like me!
What also disturbs me is the writer's admission that they Googled candidate's names. Now, the article does point out that several people included their blog URLs in their CV or even cover letter. That invites a look-see. BUT, not everyone did, and it sounds like this hiring committee decided to Google everyone they interviewed whether they were invited to or not.
This is the part where it gets dodgey. I wouldn't include this blog in a cover letter or CV - it's not professional in any way, and really just for my friends, so I don't think anyone else would be interested in it. But do I have to worry about potential employers snooping it out? (Not that a Google search will do you much good - it doesn't turn up this site - though it does turn up a woman with my name who saw a UFO and another who advertises on an adult page (at least she doesn't look like me))*
I'm not really worried about it - if a search committee wants to find out things about me, they can, whether I invite them to or not. I just don't think it's terribly ethical of them to do so without me being aware of it - sounds a bit like the Patriot Act then.
*I did however find out in my google search that something I wrote for a book review was quoted on another website, which was kinda cool 'cause it was an academic book review after all. I think it makes me sound kinda smart too (unlike this sentence!)
Of course I know all about being dooced, and I'd certainly wondered about my own potential position once I seriously re-enter the job market (I don't count packing textbooks into boxes last summer as a serious foray into workspace).
But now this Chronicle article has got me wondering yet again whether I should keep doing this or not. I began the blog frankly, because I'm lazy. I found after I moved, that I wanted to keep in touch with my friends back home, but would also get tired of writing the same things in emails to different people. And when I would try and change things up, I'd try to write about something different in my life to everyone I was emailing. But then I would forget who I had told what, and sometimes I'd get these confused responses because I'd tell the sequel to a story to someone who hadn't heard the first part of it!
So I started blogging thinking that everyone could just read about what I'm doing and I wouldn't a) repeat myself, b) tell someone only half a story, or c) be a delinquent emailer and only send an email once a year because I got tired of repeating myself etc. Now I just do it 'cause I like it. And I also think it's helped me loosen up in my academic writing, like all this blogging just lets me play with words so often that it's much easier to sit down and try to write serious ones.
Not many people read this thing (check out the statmeter), which is cool with me - the people who want to know (or who might be mildly amused at my so called life) read. Those who don't want to, don't. Their loss. So, I don't have a wide presence out there in the world wide gossip-monger. And I've tried to be fairly non-descript. Sure, you know some stuff about me. But chances are that's 'cause you know me in person (or think you do!), not because of what I say here. Even if you didn't know me in person, you're probably mostly going to know general things - even my recent rant about my university is probably pretty innocuous since I live in the greater Boston area and there's something like a gajillion schools here.
But this is the part of the article that gets me thinking:
Professor Shrill ran a strictly personal blog, which, to the author's credit, scrupulously avoided comment about the writer's current job, coworkers, or place of employment. But it's best for job seekers to leave their personal lives mostly out of the interview process....
The content of the blog may be less worrisome than the fact of the blog itself. Several committee members expressed concern that a blogger who joined our staff might air departmental dirty laundry (real or imagined) on the cyber clothesline for the world to see. Past good behavior is no guarantee against future lapses of professional decorum.
Huh?!
Okay, so I've worked in HR before - small company/non-profit - but I think I've interviewed enough people and screened enough applicants to know that past behaviour IS a good predictor of future behaviour - it's the whole idea behind Behavioral Descriptive interviewing. Note: 70% of the time BDI finds the behaviors employers want as opposed to 20% for traditional inteviews.
Believe me, BDI works. It's pretty hard to lie to a BDI question unless the candidate has prepared a script ahead of time. The questions are generally broadly enough based that you can evaluate almost any behavior or attitude type you need for the job at hand (what's sometimes actually less accurate is figuring out what kind of behaviors you value for a given position). The lesson? Past behaviour IS a good indicator of future behavior. Someone who is professional and discrete enough before being hired will continue to be professional and discrete after they sign the contract.
Also makes a good case for people in academia who have non-academia-type skills, you know, who might know that BDI works... like me!
What also disturbs me is the writer's admission that they Googled candidate's names. Now, the article does point out that several people included their blog URLs in their CV or even cover letter. That invites a look-see. BUT, not everyone did, and it sounds like this hiring committee decided to Google everyone they interviewed whether they were invited to or not.
This is the part where it gets dodgey. I wouldn't include this blog in a cover letter or CV - it's not professional in any way, and really just for my friends, so I don't think anyone else would be interested in it. But do I have to worry about potential employers snooping it out? (Not that a Google search will do you much good - it doesn't turn up this site - though it does turn up a woman with my name who saw a UFO and another who advertises on an adult page (at least she doesn't look like me))*
I'm not really worried about it - if a search committee wants to find out things about me, they can, whether I invite them to or not. I just don't think it's terribly ethical of them to do so without me being aware of it - sounds a bit like the Patriot Act then.
*I did however find out in my google search that something I wrote for a book review was quoted on another website, which was kinda cool 'cause it was an academic book review after all. I think it makes me sound kinda smart too (unlike this sentence!)
Friday, July 08, 2005
Well! That just feels like a big mistake
So, I was whining yesterday about how unmotivated I feel, and I decided that the best thing to do would be to push myself through to the next level.
I decided that I needed to get off my fanny and email off the second and third reading lists to their respective supervisors. I've been sitting on them for probably two weeks, hesitating to send them off because I wasn't sure they were ready, and I figured one way to shake myself out of the doldrums would be to scare myself (and the thought of actually sending them off was scaring me, hence, it seemed perfect).
Bad move.
I heard back from the first person only two hours after sending it off! - in an email with a two page attachment. She had some very good suggestions for wording the field statement part, which was excellent, since it was that part that I'd been fucking around with for the last two weeks trying to get it right and still not being satisfied with it. That was good and is easy to deal with. She also explained a bit more/better what she was looking for in the secondary source list, which was good, because now I have a clearer idea about what I need to do for it, but a bit bad because it gives me a lot more books to read - which might throw off my hoped for schedule (especially if I continue to have difficulty motivating myself - which will continue if the kind of things like the stuff to follow keeps happening).
The very first thing in her response - the thing that really was the most depressing even though I'm trying to just let it roll off and not bug me - was that she asked why I had a whole huge section of literature on my list. She said it didn't seem that I was interested in this literature, and wouldn't deal with it in my dissertation, so why was it on there? Why? WHY? Well, 'cause you told me to put it on there! You even lent me a book to help me compile that part of the list. No, I don't want to study it, but I put it on there because you told me to. AND. This is the big part. And, I spent about two solid months reading much of the material in that section - two months I could have spent reading other things.
*a wailing, gnashing of teeth, and growling ensues*
Two months (and I think that's conservative) spent on reading stuff that won't be on my list. I'm not talking an article or two, or even one book. I'm talking several books as well as many shorter pieces.
It's just depressing.
But it gets better.
Because I'm a trooper - or an idiot - take your pick - I go for a long walk, burning off some steam and return home with the plan to try to forget that I wasted so very much time on useless research and just try to focus on moving forward. What I need to do is focus on the books she's told me to go find - I don't know what books yet - I just know I have to read them. I'm an hour and a half away from the library, but I have DSL and the library has a slough of useful online databases. So, the logical thing to do is to do some research. Look up books that we have in the library, find their tables of contents, their indexes, figure out what's in them, then compile a list and physically go into the library, take them off the shelves (or order them from other libraries) and figure out if I should read them. I can do all this online too.
It sounds like a good plan, doesn't it? I thought it did.
I begin to make some progress; I'm finding stuff in the regular catalogs as well as in databases and online resources outside the university. I compile a list of about 40 books, but there are some books the university doesn't have, so I want to order them through interlibrary loan. I go to login. "Your patron privileges have been revoked" Crap! I took them the letter they needed last month, and I still got booted off. And it's 4:25 on Thursday. Offices close in 5 minutes, and most aren't open on Fridays.
But aha! I'll be sneaky. I have a faculty account as well as a student account. I'll get into the secure databases that way. "Your patron privileges have been revoked" Damn! I betcha this has something to do with getting kicked off Blackboard last week.
Yes, I seem to be persona non grata at the university these days. They don't have a record of me paying for gym privileges over the summer, so I have to carry my receipt with me at all times (yeah, I know, I'm not doing that one again!). And even then, some of the 'brilliant' work study people behind the counter are still suspicious about whether they should let me in or not.
And last week, I couldn't log on to Blackboard (the course management site for the course I'm teaching), because someone told them I was no longer working for the university. I wouldn't have minded not working for the university for the rest of the summer if it meant I still didn't have to go in and teach.
That was a pain in the ass to track down, because whoever did it, did it the Friday before the long weekend, and there was almost no one around over the weekend to fix it. Took till the next Wednesday to get back on. And of course I look like a dufus to my students because I can't get ahold of them 'cause their email addresses are all locked away on the site. As soon as I got access, I enrolled myself through my student account in my own course that I'm teaching, so at least if they decide to do this again, I'll at least have access to the email list, even though I won't be able to access the gradebook or any of the other instructor features.
But I'm kinda stuck till Monday in my research efforts. And I just realized I have yet to hear back from the other advisor - I'm not looking forward to that one.
Is this some subtle form of messaging? "Aliens go home"? Why not just send me a memo? If you don't want me here, just come right out and say it. I'm a big girl. I can take it. But right now you're just confusing me. You invited me to come here. I came from another country. I travelled 3210 miles, without a place to live at the end of the line to get here. That was faith. And you seemed to want me. You gave me an assistantship. And then you even renewed it - twice. If you didn't want me here, all you had to do was not offer me money. I would've got the hint. In fact, I would've had to leave - I couldn't have afforded to stay. But you gave me assistantships during the year, and even offered me a part time job in the summer. You're confusing me. Do you want me or not?
I decided that I needed to get off my fanny and email off the second and third reading lists to their respective supervisors. I've been sitting on them for probably two weeks, hesitating to send them off because I wasn't sure they were ready, and I figured one way to shake myself out of the doldrums would be to scare myself (and the thought of actually sending them off was scaring me, hence, it seemed perfect).
Bad move.
I heard back from the first person only two hours after sending it off! - in an email with a two page attachment. She had some very good suggestions for wording the field statement part, which was excellent, since it was that part that I'd been fucking around with for the last two weeks trying to get it right and still not being satisfied with it. That was good and is easy to deal with. She also explained a bit more/better what she was looking for in the secondary source list, which was good, because now I have a clearer idea about what I need to do for it, but a bit bad because it gives me a lot more books to read - which might throw off my hoped for schedule (especially if I continue to have difficulty motivating myself - which will continue if the kind of things like the stuff to follow keeps happening).
The very first thing in her response - the thing that really was the most depressing even though I'm trying to just let it roll off and not bug me - was that she asked why I had a whole huge section of literature on my list. She said it didn't seem that I was interested in this literature, and wouldn't deal with it in my dissertation, so why was it on there? Why? WHY? Well, 'cause you told me to put it on there! You even lent me a book to help me compile that part of the list. No, I don't want to study it, but I put it on there because you told me to. AND. This is the big part. And, I spent about two solid months reading much of the material in that section - two months I could have spent reading other things.
*a wailing, gnashing of teeth, and growling ensues*
Two months (and I think that's conservative) spent on reading stuff that won't be on my list. I'm not talking an article or two, or even one book. I'm talking several books as well as many shorter pieces.
It's just depressing.
But it gets better.
Because I'm a trooper - or an idiot - take your pick - I go for a long walk, burning off some steam and return home with the plan to try to forget that I wasted so very much time on useless research and just try to focus on moving forward. What I need to do is focus on the books she's told me to go find - I don't know what books yet - I just know I have to read them. I'm an hour and a half away from the library, but I have DSL and the library has a slough of useful online databases. So, the logical thing to do is to do some research. Look up books that we have in the library, find their tables of contents, their indexes, figure out what's in them, then compile a list and physically go into the library, take them off the shelves (or order them from other libraries) and figure out if I should read them. I can do all this online too.
It sounds like a good plan, doesn't it? I thought it did.
I begin to make some progress; I'm finding stuff in the regular catalogs as well as in databases and online resources outside the university. I compile a list of about 40 books, but there are some books the university doesn't have, so I want to order them through interlibrary loan. I go to login. "Your patron privileges have been revoked" Crap! I took them the letter they needed last month, and I still got booted off. And it's 4:25 on Thursday. Offices close in 5 minutes, and most aren't open on Fridays.
But aha! I'll be sneaky. I have a faculty account as well as a student account. I'll get into the secure databases that way. "Your patron privileges have been revoked" Damn! I betcha this has something to do with getting kicked off Blackboard last week.
Yes, I seem to be persona non grata at the university these days. They don't have a record of me paying for gym privileges over the summer, so I have to carry my receipt with me at all times (yeah, I know, I'm not doing that one again!). And even then, some of the 'brilliant' work study people behind the counter are still suspicious about whether they should let me in or not.
And last week, I couldn't log on to Blackboard (the course management site for the course I'm teaching), because someone told them I was no longer working for the university. I wouldn't have minded not working for the university for the rest of the summer if it meant I still didn't have to go in and teach.
That was a pain in the ass to track down, because whoever did it, did it the Friday before the long weekend, and there was almost no one around over the weekend to fix it. Took till the next Wednesday to get back on. And of course I look like a dufus to my students because I can't get ahold of them 'cause their email addresses are all locked away on the site. As soon as I got access, I enrolled myself through my student account in my own course that I'm teaching, so at least if they decide to do this again, I'll at least have access to the email list, even though I won't be able to access the gradebook or any of the other instructor features.
But I'm kinda stuck till Monday in my research efforts. And I just realized I have yet to hear back from the other advisor - I'm not looking forward to that one.
Is this some subtle form of messaging? "Aliens go home"? Why not just send me a memo? If you don't want me here, just come right out and say it. I'm a big girl. I can take it. But right now you're just confusing me. You invited me to come here. I came from another country. I travelled 3210 miles, without a place to live at the end of the line to get here. That was faith. And you seemed to want me. You gave me an assistantship. And then you even renewed it - twice. If you didn't want me here, all you had to do was not offer me money. I would've got the hint. In fact, I would've had to leave - I couldn't have afforded to stay. But you gave me assistantships during the year, and even offered me a part time job in the summer. You're confusing me. Do you want me or not?
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Makes my problems seem really rather irrelevant
So, I've been reading about the bombing in London. I'm not really gonna blog about the politics of it, and I'm not going to second guess whether the group that claims to have done it did it.
The thing that impresses me the most about all the accounts I've been reading about it is the attitude of those who have been involved, either responding to the crisis, or living through it. Londoners' attitudes have been compared to those of the Blitz, and they seem to be rallying together in a way that I'm sure is reminiscent of that previous bombing. And as commentators (particularly the British papers) have noted, they've always had the IRA to deal with.
I still however find myself feeling very remote from it all - perhaps in part because I haven't taken transit in the last couple of days and probably won't have to till next week (mostly 'cause I'm not working till then and have no need to stir from the nest of misery that's my life right now).
But I think even then I will find my attitude to my commute unchanged. It's hard to get worked up about a bunch of weirdos in some far away country maybe deciding to attack the transit system I ride, and even then, maybe attacking on the day I'm on it, and maybe on the bus I'm on. You see the odds? Whereas I've been at a station when they stopped the trains because someone was shot, and I've been on a bus where a man grabbed a woman but ran away before the cops could show up, even though he continued to make threatening gestures at her (and I think more generally at the other women on the bus as well). So, yeah, it's hard to get anxious about it. I think there's a far greater chance of my senile neighbor leaving the stove on and burning us all to a crisp in the middle of the night than me getting blown up on a subway ride.
But perhaps now that I've said that, I'm bringing such a fate upon myself.
Is that too fatalistic? Perhaps it is a bit dark. But I guess I figure there's not much that I can do about the things that happen in life other than how I respond to them. How I respond personally to the events in London is not to fear for myself, but to feel empathy for those people who are there, for those people who were injured, and for those people who had someone they care about die. I know that there are many people in London (and beyond) for whom this is a personal matter, and for them, I feel sympathy and wish them strength and the compassion of those nearest them.
I also am concerned on a more general level about the purpose of the attack - terror-ism - it is the desire to terrify an enemy, and it is that ratcheting up a notch of the terror everyone in the world feels everytime an act of terrorism is committed that I worry about. It feeds into a bunker mentality. Not always right away, but later on it does, as people continue to worry about it. At first, everyone pulls together, but then once the crisis is over, suspicion sets in. It's not just of unattended packages though, it extends to anyone acting a little weird, or maybe looking angry, or "suspicious" in some other way. And the worst of it comes when people start to be suspicious of anyone who doesn't look like them, or conversely, who looks like a terrorist (whatever terrorists look like in your dreams). That's the thing that worries me the most about these kinds of terrorist attacks. They make the world a more dangerous place for me and my kids. When everyone starts to look over their shoulder, when we start eroding civil liberties in the name of security, when ordinary people start to mistrust their neighbors and the people they meet everyday, the world gets to be a little bit scarier.
It gets scarier because when you don't trust anyone, you start just looking out for yourself. Which is a good thing (it's something that it's SO hard to get teenagers to do, or at least my teenager). But because my teen has so little worry about her own safety, she may find herself in a situation where she needs the help of a stranger. And that stranger might be unwilling to help her because he/she has retreated from society, has let the terror and suspicion get to him/her. And then my daughter suffers. To hell with society suffering. I worry about her suffering. And THAT's what I worry about whenever terror is used against ordinary people - that the world is becoming less safe not just because of the terrorists, but because of what it does to us all.
The thing that impresses me the most about all the accounts I've been reading about it is the attitude of those who have been involved, either responding to the crisis, or living through it. Londoners' attitudes have been compared to those of the Blitz, and they seem to be rallying together in a way that I'm sure is reminiscent of that previous bombing. And as commentators (particularly the British papers) have noted, they've always had the IRA to deal with.
I still however find myself feeling very remote from it all - perhaps in part because I haven't taken transit in the last couple of days and probably won't have to till next week (mostly 'cause I'm not working till then and have no need to stir from the nest of misery that's my life right now).
But I think even then I will find my attitude to my commute unchanged. It's hard to get worked up about a bunch of weirdos in some far away country maybe deciding to attack the transit system I ride, and even then, maybe attacking on the day I'm on it, and maybe on the bus I'm on. You see the odds? Whereas I've been at a station when they stopped the trains because someone was shot, and I've been on a bus where a man grabbed a woman but ran away before the cops could show up, even though he continued to make threatening gestures at her (and I think more generally at the other women on the bus as well). So, yeah, it's hard to get anxious about it. I think there's a far greater chance of my senile neighbor leaving the stove on and burning us all to a crisp in the middle of the night than me getting blown up on a subway ride.
But perhaps now that I've said that, I'm bringing such a fate upon myself.
Is that too fatalistic? Perhaps it is a bit dark. But I guess I figure there's not much that I can do about the things that happen in life other than how I respond to them. How I respond personally to the events in London is not to fear for myself, but to feel empathy for those people who are there, for those people who were injured, and for those people who had someone they care about die. I know that there are many people in London (and beyond) for whom this is a personal matter, and for them, I feel sympathy and wish them strength and the compassion of those nearest them.
I also am concerned on a more general level about the purpose of the attack - terror-ism - it is the desire to terrify an enemy, and it is that ratcheting up a notch of the terror everyone in the world feels everytime an act of terrorism is committed that I worry about. It feeds into a bunker mentality. Not always right away, but later on it does, as people continue to worry about it. At first, everyone pulls together, but then once the crisis is over, suspicion sets in. It's not just of unattended packages though, it extends to anyone acting a little weird, or maybe looking angry, or "suspicious" in some other way. And the worst of it comes when people start to be suspicious of anyone who doesn't look like them, or conversely, who looks like a terrorist (whatever terrorists look like in your dreams). That's the thing that worries me the most about these kinds of terrorist attacks. They make the world a more dangerous place for me and my kids. When everyone starts to look over their shoulder, when we start eroding civil liberties in the name of security, when ordinary people start to mistrust their neighbors and the people they meet everyday, the world gets to be a little bit scarier.
It gets scarier because when you don't trust anyone, you start just looking out for yourself. Which is a good thing (it's something that it's SO hard to get teenagers to do, or at least my teenager). But because my teen has so little worry about her own safety, she may find herself in a situation where she needs the help of a stranger. And that stranger might be unwilling to help her because he/she has retreated from society, has let the terror and suspicion get to him/her. And then my daughter suffers. To hell with society suffering. I worry about her suffering. And THAT's what I worry about whenever terror is used against ordinary people - that the world is becoming less safe not just because of the terrorists, but because of what it does to us all.
I'm in a slump
I can't seem to get any work done today... haven't really worked since the beginning of last week... at least not in any concerted manner that will move me through this program at anything but a snail's pace.
It all just seems so overwhelming right now. Too much I don't know. Too much I'm worried I need to know. Too much to read. Too much to pay attention to. I'm ready to give up. I want to give up. I want to sit on the couch and watch movies all day. I want to go out and go shopping, or visit friends, or just wander down to the nearest coffee shop (a good mile away, so 'wander' doesn't quite seem the right word). In short, I want to be doing just about anything that doesn't involve school.
Help!
It all just seems so overwhelming right now. Too much I don't know. Too much I'm worried I need to know. Too much to read. Too much to pay attention to. I'm ready to give up. I want to give up. I want to sit on the couch and watch movies all day. I want to go out and go shopping, or visit friends, or just wander down to the nearest coffee shop (a good mile away, so 'wander' doesn't quite seem the right word). In short, I want to be doing just about anything that doesn't involve school.
Help!
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