Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Fun with words

After a full day of reading extremely dry material that left me scratching my head, I decided I needed some amusement. I found it when I ran across this website that converts webpages into various "dialects"... here's my last post, converted to jive:
Dursday, Octoba' 05, 2006

De mo'e doodads change da damn mo'e dey stay de same

Lookin' back, ah' see dat dree years ago on dis day, I wuz preoccupied wid mah' (in)ability t'get around.

Last year, ah' wuz bloggin' about mah' baaaad homeys.

Today, homeys and movin' around is also on mah' mind. I'm missin' homeys dat I've left behind some lot today. Slap mah fro! I'm not sho' man whut it be about today dat's generatin' dis feelin', but ah' am missin' dem. WORD! As much as wo'kin' fum crib be convenient and all, it probably won't help t'dispel de feelin' dat I'm disconnected fum de wo'ld. I'm lookin' fo'ward t'a trip back in de next few weeks as some way uh reconnectin', if only tempo'arily. Slap mah fro!

On some brighta' note, I'm pleased wid mah' last run. 'S coo', bro. Last week ah' finally gots'ta de point where ah' dun didn't feel sho't uh bread durin' de whole run. 'S coo', bro... which ah' can only assume be related t'a real slow acclimatizashun t'de higha' eleveashun here. It wuz real baaaad t'finish some (sho't) run widout feelin' likes ah' wuz gaspin' fo' air de whole time. And yesterday, ah' finally broke da damn 4 km barria' dat ah' seemed t'be stymied by fo' de last several monds. ah' know it's not much - some uh my eyeballers run MUCH farda' dan dat - but fo' me it's some bustdrough. Lop some boogie. And at least now ah' won't embarass mah'self wid some poo' puh'fo'mance at next weekend's Go'illa Run.

Now I'm gonna go convert some other webpages and see what comes out!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

The more things change the more they stay the same

Looking back, I see that three years ago on this day, I was preoccupied with my (in)ability to get around.

Last year, I was blogging about my good friends.

Today, friends and moving around are also on my mind. I'm missing friends that I've left behind a lot today. I'm not sure what it is about today that's generating this feeling, but I am missing them. As much as working from home is convenient and all, it probably won't help to dispel the feeling that I'm disconnected from the world. I'm looking forward to a trip back in the next few weeks as a way of reconnecting, if only temporarily.

On a brighter note, I'm pleased with my last run. Last week I finally got to the point where I didn't feel short of breath during the whole run... which I can only assume is related to a really slow acclimatization to the higher eleveation here. It was really good to finish a (short) run without feeling like I was gasping for air the whole time. And yesterday, I finally broke the 4 km barrier that I seemed to be stymied by for the last several months. I know it's not much - some of my readers run MUCH farther than that - but for me it's a breakthrough. And at least now I won't embarass myself with a poor performance at next weekend's Gorilla Run.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Beyond Murphy's law

My school drives me nuts! If something can go wrong, it will. And it has. I am tearing my hair out at the redundancies, the miscommunication, the lack of communication and the inefficiencies of its bureaucratic systems.

It's even worse long distance. I've been kicked off the library system twice, finally having to elicit the help of a local person to get access to its resources again (in fact, I've taken to checking it every week, whether I need access or not, just to make sure they haven't kicked me off again).

I've had to submit my change of address to five different offices - one of them twice - in order to make sure I get all the communications I'm supposed to be getting.

Emails to another office have repeatedly been ignored, forcing me to call to do my business with them.

And my payment for my tuition? Sent to the wrong account! Then it took almost two weeks for them to figure out what went wrong.

Even some of my colleagues are surprised at the number of things that go wrong in MY interactions with the institution. They don't seem to have nearly as many problems and I find myself wondering what it is about my account that brings out the bugs in every system.

I take consolation in the fact that because I'm not physically there, at least they can't frustrate me by rescinding my access to the gym like they repeatedly did when I was on location. If all this isn't incentive to finish the dissertation quickly so I no longer have to deal with this particular bureaucracy, I don't know what is!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Miscellany

Even though there's plenty going on, it feels like there's not much to say.

I signed an employment contract this morning, so I guess I'm officially employed, though I'll have a better idea about what's involved and when I'll get started on Thursday after our first meeting. I'm a little nervous about the job because I've never done something like this before, but I'm also excited because it sounds real interesting. Only time will tell whether this is a good move or not, I suppose.

I also heard about a potential adjunct position in spring, which would be nice because then I'd be back in the classroom, which I've been missing a bit.

Yesterday I had a weird sense of deja vu when I returned to the university library to pick up some materials. It wasn't so much entering the library that did it but the sense of falling back into a routine. In the library tower, when you come out of the elevators onto the floor where the literature and related texts are, you have the choice of four directions to take. The eerie part was that I turned without thinking in the very direction I needed to go to find what I was looking for. It was like my body remembered where to look, even if my conscious mind didn't. It was a little weird.

And I got invited to a new book club, which I'm looking forward to, 'cause I've been missing my old one - mostly the people in it - a lot since I left.

Other than that, everything else is just humdrum usual stuff. Bored you? Yes, I know. I apologize. I'll try to do something exciting this week. But I can't promise anything.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

A solid hit

To extend the "job hunt" metaphor, I think it's fair to say that I made a solid hit yesterday. It's an exciting position - instructional design - and something I've not really done before. I'm not quite celebrating yet, but the interviewer said I was at the top of the list and he would call by middle of next week when he returns from Halifax to discuss the contract.

I am grinning though...

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Job hunt

Why do we call it job hunting anyway? Usually the jobs I find aren't hidden anywhere, as the hunt in treasure hunt might imply (nor are they usually treasures for that matter) and I don't exactly run them down and spear them through my prowess with a weapon of some sort, since once you send off that resume, you're no longer in charge of the process. So why do we call it a hunt?

Regardless of the answer, my "hunt" is looking more positive. I got a call for an interview tomorrow - the shocking part was that the call came only one hour after I sent off the resume! In all fairness, I only submitted it an hour and a half before the deadline for submission, but talking to the interviewer, he sounded interested. And an interview is an interview, right? I'm not sure how the interviews on Friday went - each had a hiccough - but each also had moments when I felt like I shone, so it's hard to say without knowing who's my competition.

On an amusing note, some job titles struck me as funny as I read them:
1. syrup maker (not as interesting as it sounds)
2. assistant to the executive assistant (now there's a mouthful of nothing)
3. analyst for magic software (I can only assume this is a name, not a description...)

On the inside

So this is how it is on the inside... I've attended the PCA/ACA conference three times over my graduate career. Two years ago, I presented as part of the Stephen King group, and last year with the sf/fantasy group. The King group, and by extension, the members of the horror section, are a really welcoming group of scholars, and even though I wasn't presenting with them, they invited me to the group dinner last year.

So this year, when I saw that two of my new friends were putting together a panel, I decided I've love to present something with them. Last week, all I did was send a preliminary email asking if my idea would fit with their panel and they emailed back saying, "sure, you're in... what's the title of the paper so we can publish it?"

The first time I sent an abstract off for a conference, I sweated over it for a month, ran it past two professors, and got a reference from a professor in order to bolster my proposal. Now, I just email a couple of friends, tell them what I'm thinking, and they say I'm in. What a difference from that first experience! So this is how it works when you're inside... I gotta say, it's pretty nice!

Friday, September 22, 2006

Puppet shows


But not Punch and Judy. Last night, for youngest daughter's birthday, we all went to see Ronnie Burkett's Ten Nights on Earth. Burkett is an internationally renown local puppeteer whose work we've seen before. Last night's show was no disappointment.

The show opened in Toronto and is booked for international venues as well, and so far the reviews have been favorable. Canoe.ca wrote:
But art -- good art and, by extension, the people who make good art -- should always surprise.
Judged on that criteria alone, 10 Days On Earth -- the latest work from marionette master Ronnie Burkett -- is art of the highest order.

Surprise was certainly one of the features of the show, but I would add delight, empathy and plain old hilarity to the list of adjectives as well. But others have said it better than me.

It was preview night at the theatre, which I hadn't been to since I worked there (several years ago now). There were a couple of hang ups (or "tangle-ups") that Burkett handled with true style and which just added to the enjoyment of the audience. We enjoyed ourselves very much, and if you're in Calgary and like puppets, I'd definitely recommend the show.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Reverse culture shock

Was talking to my dad this weekend, who reminded me that the biggest culture shock is the one you get when you come back. (He remember vividly the culture shock of returning from Brazil, though I mostly was oblivious because I was young) Coming back is more shocking because you expect things to be different when you go somewhere else, but you're not set up with the same kind of expectation when you come back.

And it's always the little things. Like:

motorists who stop for you when you're in the crosswalk


The Tragically Hip (thanks to Canadian content rules!)


pockets full of coins that add up to more than a cup of coffee


needing a coin to get your shopping cart out (but you do get it back)


dual language video covers (though this is mostly new out west)



And then there's the shock of coming back to a city whose population has exploded in the last four years. The traffic is just a bit slower everywhere, there are neighborhoods I've never even heard of, and there are labour shortages everywhere. It's actually quite severe in the service sector.

We drove up to a Wendy's today thinking we could quickly run through the drive through, but there was a sign there instead that said "Due to inadequate staffing, the drive through window is not open. Please go to the dining room to place your order. Thank you for your patience" While the A & W across the street is operating on reduced hours for the same reason. It's absolutely amazing.

And how is my job search going? Well thank you for asking! I've had two telephone pre-interview screenings - one I didn't get a call back from and the other I'm still waiting on. I also have an interview scheduled for Friday. So it's slowly picking up. The telephone screening this afternoon was for a job I'd very much like, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up in case she doesn't call back. I'm just thankful that we're in the position that I don't have to jump at the first call I get but I can wait to find something I really like.

Monday, September 18, 2006

The cost of paper

I've been transferring my amazon wish list from .com to .ca (yeah, I know, I don't have a job, but it's helping me organize my dissertation thoughts). It doesn't make much sense to me to stay with the the US version of the site, but I'm very puzzled by the price differences between the two.

Take for example this book:

on .com it retails for $13.57 US
but on .ca, it retails for $131.50 CDN

That's one hundred and seventeen dollars and ninety-three cents more! Almost ten times as much!

WHY?

It can't be that paper costs more here... we're the ones with all the trees!

(lucky for me, the university here has a copy that I can get my hands on...)

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Ahhh... the irony


As soon as we arrived here, I started seeing these smart cars on the streets. They sure stand out in a land of SUVs, half tons and Hummers, so we checked one out today. They are really fun to drive!

It's ironic that the place where I've seen the most of these little cars - which can get up to 90 mpg on the highway - is the place where the economy's been booming because of oil. The dealership has less than 10 left and are taking orders for delivery in March!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Box break

I'm taking a break from boxes to job search... but that's just making me realize how labour intensive that activity is in itself! I swear it takes me an hour to revise my resume and write a cover letter for each position! At this rate, it'll take me till tomorrow just to make it through the list of jobs I want to apply for... and then I suppose they'll be new postings!

It's also very weird to dust off my non-teaching skills as I prepare letters for non-teaching positions. I realize I've forgotten half of what I know, because I'll read a job description and it will suddenly occur to me that I worked a job where I did that particular kind of task seven years ago, and I'll have to add that into my resume so that I've at least got a shot at the position. It's a strange feeling because it keeps reminding me of my life before I started on this academic path, which feels sometimes like someone else's life...

There's tons of service type jobs around here - there are places that are advertising $1-2/hr. differentials if you'll sign up to work fulltime rather than just partime, and there are other businesses that have had to cut back their hours or actually close locations because they can't find people to work in their stores. But I'm not applying for those jobs. The ones I'm applying for are at about the same levels as they've always been, which means competition for some of them might be really tight, but if I send out enough resumes, eventually I'll get some bites. I just hope the ones that call me are the more interesting ones and not the ones that I sent a 'safety' resume to.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Not even remotely settled yet

Even though unpacking always takes less time than packing, it's taking forever this time!

We spent last Friday shopping for furniture and bought a few pieces which we picked up last Sunday when we had the moving truck. With the new furniture, we had to make two trips, but got it all done in one day, which I was impressed with. I thought it was some kind of sign that we'd be all settled in by the next weekend. But here we are at the end of the next weekend, and I'm still blogging surrounded by boxes.

It's taking a long time to get all this done. I've given up on setting a goal for completion, and am just going to take it as it comes. This house is bigger than any place I've ever lived before, and it's more than twice the size of the last place we were living in (which doesn't actually say much about the last place) so it's odd to get used to how much elbow room we all have. I haven't unpacked a single box of books yet, so that might change though!

My sister and family came over yesterday, which gave us the impetus to clear space around the dining and kitchen tables, which we desperately needed to do, and we had fun playing host to their family (especially since we ended up at their place for 10 days! My sister, she's a saint! Actually, her whole family is!). Oldest daughter came over too and stayed the night, and it was nice to have her around, even if it was just for a few hours.

I'm looking forward to the day when I wake up and my first thought is NOT about what I'm going to unpack today!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Roof over our heads

We finally found a place to live - signed the lease this afternoon. It's nice... very nice and I'm excited about moving in. We get access to it on Saturday and have a truck booked for Sunday, so by the end of the long weekend, we should be settled.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Well, we're here

We're in Calgary. We lost most of day 3 of the trip sitting on the side of the road and waiting at a mall in Illinois while the fan belt on the truck was replaced.

We're desperately trying to find a place to live. We managed to see only 2 places today, even though we called almost two dozen listings. We're hoping for a good dose of luck because it's risky not to take something right away because places are going in a single day. We have three possibilities to look at tomorrow, so hopefully one of them will be good and we'll unload our truck tomorrow or by Saturday.

Wish us luck. More later when I'm blogging on my own account. In the meantime, you can get an idea of how tense the rental situation is around here by reading the 'greedy landlords' thread on the local craigslist.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Enroute

Sitting in a hotel room in Buffalo, NY getting ready to start day 2 of epic trek back to Alberta. The UHAUL truck was smoking as I came through the toll booth last night, so keep you fingers crossed for us that it keeps running, or that if there is a problem, it's a minor one.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Northwest

Looks like we're Calgary bound! Those of you in those parts, look for us to arrive in a week and a half or so. Posting will likely be sparse till then. Wish us a smooth move, okay?

Monday, August 07, 2006

Changes

Happy civic holiday Albertans!

Unfortunately, because of your holiday, I'm still waiting to hear where we're going to live... but hopefully we'll figure it out soon! I haven't blogged much about moving because there's not much to say. We don't know where we're going, and there's not much I can do other than put things in boxes until I know where we're going. At that point, I have a huge list! Every day I think of another thing to add to it, which is a bit scary just because it is getting a bit long, particularly if our move will require crossing an international border, but I try not to think about it and just concentrate on putting stuff in boxes... I guess that summer job I had two years ago was good practice...

Friday, August 04, 2006

Rafting on the Bow

The other week while I was in Calgary, we drove across a bridge spanning the Bow River, and both of us caught our breath noticing everyone floating down the river.

Now that's a way to spend a Sunday afternoon! Drive one car down to the weir and park it - drive the other one up to Bowness Park, pull out the raft and let yourself drift downstream till you reach the first car. Such a fabulous way to spend an afternoon!


It's impossible to wear a watch or worry about the time, because you're at the mercy of the current. Sure, you take an oar, but it's not for propelling. You only dig it out if you get stuck in one of the shallow parts.

I've discovered that this seems to be a uniquely Calgarian thing to do. There's lots of other cities with rivers running through them, but very few that seem to have developed a river floating culture.

Of course Calgary takes it and makes it big with the annual Bow River Raft Race, which gives you some idea of what it's like when there are several other rafters on the river. You definitely don't want to forget the supersoaker at home!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Blogging in academia

This time, the shoe's on the other foot.

Certainly the blog has been a political force for several years already - I won't say since it's inception, since the earliest blogs usually focused on a filtering function - surfing the web for interesting items then linking to them - but the usenet group's politics has spilled over into the blog format for quite a while now. Guess it just goes to show how the ivory tower invades every aspect of academia that the political power of the blog is just now being felt.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Dog days of August

I am hiding in my house for the rest of the day. My weather page says:
Excessive heat warning in effect until 8 PM EDT this evening...
Heat advisory in effect from 11 am to 5 PM EDT Thursday...

Besides, there's still lots to be packed.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Ohio bound

I'm heading off to Ohio for a wedding tomorrow. When I first heard of the wedding, I was very excited to hear the news... oddly, I found out about it in the exact same spot as I'd heard about another wedding two years before. Strange coincidence that.

I'm nervous about this wedding. I've been asked to play piano for it. When I first agreed, I thought I knew what I was getting myself into, but a lot of details have changed, and now I'm a little nervous about it. I'll be on a keyboard, not a piano, which I know will sound different - I'm just hoping it's one of those high quality boards that sounds pretty close.

I'm also playing two more songs than I originally thought, and accompanying a singer, which I've never done before, so I'm a bit nervous about the newness of that experience. We haven't practiced together yet - we'll get the chance the day before the wedding - so I'm just hoping we both are on the same page re: pacing etc. The singer sent me a copy of the music she's working from, so at least we don't have to worry about transposition or instrument differences with the music we're each working from.

I've also got a head cold. It actually feels a bit better today, but yesterday I was so fuzzy headed I was really butchering the songs as I was practicing. I'm going downstairs to practice now - I hope today's practicing goes better. I'm also really hoping the head cold clears for the wedding and flight. Both will be miserable affairs if it doesn't.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

The law can be fun!

I considered law school briefly as an undergraduate, but didn't think I had what it takes to succeed. Apparently, it's not quite as difficult as I thought it was...

I usually don't read legal judgements, but this one (link to pdf) is just too funny. A couple of excerpts:
Before proceeding further, the Court notes that this case involves two extremely likable lawyers, who have together delivered some of the most amateurish pleadings ever to cross the hallowed causeway into Galveston, an effort which leads the Court to surmise but one plausible explanation. Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact--complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words--to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed.

After this remarkably long walk on a short legal pier, having received no useful guidance whatever from either party, the Court has endeavored, primarily based upon its affection for both counsel, but also out of its own sense of morbid curiosity, to resolve what it perceived to be the legal issue presented. Despite the waste of perfectly good crayon seen in both parties' briefing (and the inexplicable odor of wet dog emanating from such) the Court believes it has satisfactorily resolved this matter. Defendant's Motion for Summary Judgment is GRANTED.

Ouch! Despite the legalese, it's worth reading for passages like this.

I suppose if this professor thing doesn't work out, I could go into law instead... at least I'd have the sense to use markers and construction paper...

Monday, July 24, 2006

Back

I'm exhausted. I sit here trying to put together my thoughts, but the only one that keeps running through my head is "I'm exhausted" The trouble with going to Calgary is that we know enough people that anything short of a week means we're out all day... and most of the nights!

It's not even that there's that many people to see - just that there are too many to see them all in only a couple of days. I missed meeting up with one really good friend just because she was busy and we were busy and by the time we could've got together, I had no more time left. I'm very sorry I didn't get to talk to her. I really wish I had. But it didn't work out.

So I regret not seeing her, and sit here with a brain full of fuzzy cotton (sis, I'm thinking of your dream now too!) trying to think of something intelligent to say. Good thing teaching this morning was the same ol' same ol' otherwise I would've been lost.

Travelling so far, especially from one country to another always does amaze me though. As we rode home from the airport, I couldn't help but notice how different that ride felt from the one to the airport in Calgary. Even the air smells different here. I'm sure much of it is just my awareness that things are different, but each place still feels distinctly different.

But perhaps I should wait to blog something intelligent when I'm actually feeling more intelligent!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Barely blogging

This time tomorrow I'll be somewhere over... Montana, maybe? En route to Calgary, at any rate. Blogging will be even briefer than it has been lately. Too much life getting in the way.

We're checking out jobs, seeing old friends, and seeing oldest daughter in her new element, which I'm totally looking forward to! I know it's only been a couple of weeks, but it's been so weird to think she's living somewhere else, I haven't got my head wrapped round it yet. Hopefully we'll get to see everyone that we want to see, even if only briefly. One friend I haven't seen for the four years we've been gone. We've had virtual coffee... you know, where we're both drinking coffee while IM-ing, but it's not the same. So we'll have f2f coffee, which I'm really looking foward to.

But I guess I'll have to tell you all about it when I get back.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Huh?

There's something highly ironic about writing the following comment on a student paper discussing the importance of clear communication between medical professionals:
This is unclear here – is it the PTs who are using new procedures, or the doctors who are performing new procedures? You need to clarify who’s doing what here and who needs to communicate more clearly.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Ahh... Mr. Bulwer-Lytton's spirit strikes again

I love reading this list every year!

The winner is:
Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.
Jim Guigli
Carmichael, CA

I've got to admire the skill of the entrants... or perhaps some of these are genuine attempts at opening lines!? The annual Bulwer-Lytton contest provides some fabulous entries. The winner was typical of Bulwer-Lytton, but several of the runners-up and dishonorable mentions were more flexible with the form. I realized as I was reading through them that I needed to put down my coffee cup or risk shorting out my keyboard!

Some of my favorites?

"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' - and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' - well do you, punk?"
Stuart Vasepuru
Edinburgh, Scotland

Lisa moved like a cat, not the kind of cat that moves with a slinky grace but more like the kind that always falls off the book shelf when he's washing himself and then gets all mad at you like it's your fault (which it wasn't although it probably was kind of mean to laugh at him like that), although on the bright side, she hardly ever attacked Ricky's toes in his sleep.
Debra Allen
Wichita Falls, TX

Sex with Rachel after she turned fifty was like driving the last-place team on the last day of the Iditarod Dog Sled Race, the point no longer the ride but the finish, the difficulty not the speed but keeping all the parts moving in the right direction, not to mention all that irritating barking.
Dan Winters
Los Altos Hills, CA

It was just another day at the office aboard "StarCruise" until David spotted a tiny speck in his passenger window, approaching from the direction of the Masai Nebula and making a right angle with bisector of the isosceles formed if you joined Bendy's Star, Planet Anet, and White Hole 14437-5A, but sighed peacefully as it turned out to be the reflection of the fluorescent light swinging loose above Captain Mudlove's head.
Talha bin Hamid
Karachi, Pakistan

The goose waddled slowly, heavily, across the road, exactly the way my mother-in-law would if she were a goose.
Mary Montiel
Wichita, KS

Twas brillig, and the toves were not just slithy, they were stinking drunk.
Richard A. Polunsky
Houston TX

Her romance ended, not a quick separation but like the gradually fading white dot on one of those old black-and-white vacuum tube TVs when it's turned off; and she was glad, because she felt uneasy in his arms and required as many adjustments to the "horizontal hold" and "vertical hold" as when she would stay up late watching scary shows like "Twilight Zone" and "Outer Limits" long ago.
Charles Wells
Albuquereque, NM

I saw her from across the room and knew I had to meet her, not because of her ample bosom, or her full lips, or her beautiful creamy skin, or the way her hair was twisted into a nice tight bun, or the buttoned-up blouse that begged to be torn off her body, or the skirt that was perhaps a size too small, but because she was my kid's teacher and I was here for the parent-teacher conference.
Lori Yates
Kezier, OR

Sunday, July 09, 2006

I don't know what's worse, the packing or the moving

We still don't know for sure where we'll be in a month. All I know is that we'll be somewhere else, so it all has to get packed. Packing is always a longer, more tiring, and dirtier job than you ever think it will be when you start. It's not like I move my bookshelves every few months to clean behind them... they sure can accumulate dust bunnies back there, that's for sure!

Keeping a sense of humor helps - over the dozens of times I've moved, I can vouch for everyone one of these:

Murphy's Laws of Moving
By: Sheila Moss

1. No matter how many boxes you have, you will never have enough.

2. The more your friends promise to help, the more likely it is they will be deathly ill or out of town the weekend you are moving.

3. Whatever it is that you need, it is always in the bottom of a box that has already been taped shut.

4. Now that you are moving and no longer need it, you will always find something you have been looking for for years.

5. The tape, the scissors, the markers and the screwdriver all know how to play hide ‘n’ seek.

6. The thing that gets broken will always be an irreplaceable antique heirloom - never something cheap that you didn't like anyway.

7. Regardless of long the drought has been going on, it will always rain on moving day.

8. You will always lose your checkbook, your car keys, the remote control or the telephone.

9. If you stay up all night packing to be ready for the movers, they will be late.

10. No matter how large the new place is, it will shrink before you move in.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Trivia(l) movies

Who would've known?

Apparently, a group of Northeastern students made a pretty good movie. At least, Campus MovieFest seems to think it was a great idea. Apparently,
A film created by five students from Northeastern University for Campus MovieFest, the world's largest student film festival, was selected as one of sixteen films to air at the International Grand Finale at the Atlanta Film Festival.

The movie, called Tangent, is actually kinda interesting. Some of the aesthetic choices seem a bit cliched, but it is kinda neat to recognize local places (I swear I've parked in that exact same parking spot as the one featured in the parking garage scene!)

Speaking of interesting movies, I also watched The Calcium Kid today. I was surprised during channel surfing to see Orlando Bloom in it, and assumed it was an early film of his. But then I recognized Rafe Spall (from Shaun of the Dead, of course, I recognized him!) and later Billie Piper from Dr. Who, and went to check the credits. 2004. After LOTR. I must say, it was an interesting choice for Bloom, and a role he performed fairly well, given the slightly shallow nature of the script.

It's a mockumentary. If the title reminds you of The Karate Kid, it should. And they shamelessly riff on Rocky. But it was time well spent. Might even be worth throwing on your Netflix or Blockbuster account... not too high mind you, but it was an amusing way to spend a couple of hours. Perhaps you too will be amused.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

No name post

My creativity has ebbed with my energy, thus no post title... the post itself might not be much better...

Oldest daughter should be arriving at her destination soon. We woke at 3:30 am to get her to the airport on time. She actually had three friends show up to accompany her in the limo - yes, she had a gift certificate for a free limo ride to the airport. They gave them to all the students who were leaving to go to school - how nice! First time I've ever been in a limo. Very nice. I could get used to it. Then again, my parents always did tell me I had expensive tastes... I've just never had the budget to indulge them!

Firecracker fiends were setting off squealers and poppers till long after midnight though. Very little sleep = lack of creativity.

I did cry. But just a little. She did too. Even while she was telling me not to. It's kinda nice to know she'll miss me at the same time as I'm missing her.

I also discovered that it is only the Dunkin Donuts near my school that are open at 6 am - ugh!

My students got what little energy I had this morning, which is reassuring, because if I had to teach at this moment, I'd have nothing.

I just missed a lucrative summer job offer by ten minutes. If I'd gotten home ten minutes earlier, I could have at least considered whether or not to take it. As is, the point is moot - the position is filled now. Too bad. I would've liked the choice.

What little energy still remained this afternoon was used up emailing my landlord and telling her that "no, I am not willing to move half my household items to a storage facility for a month, then go and pick them up again, just so that the house looks larger without so much furniture in it" sheesh! I know she wants to sell the place as soon as possible after we leave, but it's still my living space in the meantime.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Less than 24 hours

Less than a day till oldest daughter will be living in another country.

WOW.

I'm experiencing several emotions, anxiety/sadness/stress, but I don't think it's really sunk in yet. I haven't had much time to really sit back and think about it because I've been busy harassing her to finish packing up all her stuff before she goes. She's taking two HUGE suitcases! (I hope our bathroom scale is accurate because they're almost at the weight limit) The rest we'll ship to her wherever she'll be in fall... *sigh* that sounds sooo familiar!

I'm sure tomorrow will feel different. Right now, I'm just hoping I'm awake enough to accompany her to the airport at 4 am. I'm not much of a morning person...

Monday, July 03, 2006

I'm a big believer in prevention

When I worked loss prevention, we stressed methods of preventing shoplifting rather than detecting it... mostly by making shoppers aware that someone was watching.

When it comes to students and plagiarism, if Turnitin makes them aware someone's watching and reduces the temptation to cheat, I'm all for it too.

Overall, I'm satisfied with the software and plan to continue to use it. It does give quite a few false positives, but a teacher with half a brain can figure out that those aren't plagiarism. When it discovers that my student wrote "Langston Hughes wrote 'A Negro Speaks of Rivers' in 1921..." and a student at a high school in Ohio wrote the exact same sentence, I know enough to realize this is coincidence. It's not exactly great writing, but it's functional and there aren't many other ways of saying the same thing.

I also selected the option to ignore quoted material, since that just identified all the quotes in the paper. I really didn't need it to do that for me.

Now my students papers are part of that huge database of papers they run all the new submissions against. I wonder what they'll make of the student who submitted a paper that started out talking about Frost but ended with a narrative of how the speaker met the love of his life in an Outback Steakhouse restaurant? It's a hoot! It almost rivals "Don't be Panic"... which is still in my mind the best student paper ever! When I get depressed about what my students are doing, all I do is play the video and it makes me feel so much better! (thanks to rlt for the reminder)

The "doctor" and the doctor

I can't help but be amused that Kevin Warwick at University of Reading has created a robotic dalek... I giggle.

Warwick is the guy who implanted a chip into his forearm in an effort to begin developing real world applications of cybernetic implants. The most unusual thing I've read that he has suggested is the possibility of implants in different people communicating with each other. Apparently his wife has volunteered to have herself implanted as well and they're going to try to communicate through the implants via computer. It all sounds very interesting. I wonder if he'll be talking about it when he visits MIT in September? If I'm here and can scrape together the registration fee, it certainly would be interesting to hear him speak about it!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Smell o vision?

According to this article at New Scientist, a group of researchers in Tokyo have developed a odour recorder capable of recording scents and reproducing them when required. I don't know what all you'd use it for, but it sounds pretty cool!

If I had one of those, I could attach the smell of a maple leaf.. or maybe beer... or just a good old barbeque... in celebration of a Happy Canada Day!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

I'm exhausted

Yes, if you look at the post time, it's 11:45. a.m. It's not today that's exhausted me, but the last week... month... maybe even year...

Sandy's farewell/graduation/belated birthday party was this weekend, which went off with only a few hitches. A forecast of thundershowers meant we brought everyone back to our place - thank god a few people didn't end up coming! - and splitting people into two "shifts" (because she had 50 people on the guest list... if you've ever seen our place, you know it can't accommodate anywhere near that many people!)

Of course, not a drop of rain fell the whole time, let along thundershowers.

The shifts idea was a bit stressful because it meant it felt like two parties in a row. It also meant I did none of the huge pile of marking I had to do once it was all over, so I spent Sunday marking papers... and Monday actually... which put me in a right rotten mood when I walked into the final exam I gave yesterday.

Being bombarded by five students who all had different requests (and didn't come by my office but waited till I walked into the exam room) most of which were either a) minor, or b) left till much too late, didn't help the matter either.

Students take note: asking your teacher if you can convert the class to pass/fail moments before the final exam begins, is not under ANY circumstances cool.

Most of the marking was for that course I took over last week. I'd taught the same course last year, so I figured it wouldn't be hard, but I hadn't figured on the first instructor not only using strange assignments I'd never seen before, but also requiring that the students follow a draconian report style that requires them to force their material into a format that doesn't work well for every report. I learnt yesterday that my approach of 'do what works best for your project' was a shock (albeit a pleasant ones for those who discussed it with me) that they've had to adjust to. So despite my efforts to make the transition as seamless as possible, just my pedagogical style has meant the students have had to change course. I'm hoping based on the response from the few I've talked to that it will work out in the long run, but it's still been rough.

On top of all this, we want to get a family portait done (before my family disperses to all ends of the globe... well, okay, North America... for the summer) and we're moving, though we don't know where to yet. All we know is that my handsome partner in crime will be getting a new job now that he's graduated, and we're gonna try to 'move on up' at the same time. All I know is that I need to leave this place by mid August. Thank goodness! It's been nice and all while we've been here, but it really is a cramped space and we're hoping to gain a bit more square footage wherever we go so that it doesn't feel like we're just moving the stuff around in an endless circle trying to make room for various activities.

This whole year has been busy for us though. With two graduations in the house, the studying that goes into those, finishing my exams, trying to put together a prospectus and dissertation committee, preparing oldest daughter for transition to another country, teaching a lit course (fun! but LOTS of extra work), and everything else with everyone else, it's been a very full year.

When the kids were born, I thought the sleep deprivation was bad, but the exhaustion of keeping up with and track of teenagers rivals it... or maybe I'm just older... either way, it's been a ride this year!

We need to plan ourselves a vacation!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

They say something about laughter and medicine?

** Annual English Teachers' awards for best student metaphors/analogies found in actual student papers:


Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law George. But unlike George, this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Take a break from the ordinary

Sounds like a travel ad: "Take a break from the ordinary" but there really is nothing like a break from the usual routine to shake you up and make you realize that your life has been rather ordinary for the last while. Ordinary isn't a bad thing, it's just really easy to slip into it without knowing.

Sometimes I treasure ordinariness (for example, after our hectic and stressful cross country move I was almost cried with joy at the end of a day when I realized it was the first time I hadn't felt homesick all day). But sometimes it just starts to make you dull. You do the same thing over and over again until you don't even notice that you're not growing and learning anymore.

Today I think I must have done some growing, or at least should have, because it wasn't an ordinary day.

I suppose it actually began on Thursday afternoon. As I was teaching the poetry class, I saw one of the writing program directors in the hall. I assumed he was there to talk to my colleague across the hall, but he waved me out of my classroom. I suppose I was more curious than anything, so I met with him. He asked me if I would take over a class right away. I said I had to consult with my family, but would call him the next day and I did to say I'd do it. They seemed pretty desperate to cover this class, and I'd taught the same one last summer, so I figured it'd be pretty easy.

He told me they were replacing the existing teacher because she'd failed to attend the last three classes. When I found out two days later who it was, I was surprised, because I knew this instructor (mostly by reputation) and she didn't seem like a flake. There might be other adjectives for her, but flake is never one I've heard applied in her situation.

So I walked into the classroom this morning and got the students to start telling me about the course. Strange way to begin a relationship with a group of students, and I felt slightly less authoritative than normal because I had to rely on them to tell me what they were doing.

The class is behind by a good bit, and the students are going to have to work steadily through the remainder to make up for it. I'm trying to figure out how to keep it from feeling like punishment for their teacher bailing on them.

Then I had a very relaxing and highly enjoyable dinner/writing discussion with friends. I realized that I've been relaxing far too little lately, because the enforced relaxation of just sitting around seemed strange at first. But I did get used to it, and boy did it feel good!

And then?

All I can say is neither Tampa Bay nor Raleigh have naturally occurring ice.

There's something wrong with the universe.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Pity this busy monster

I have these drafts of posts sitting here but feel like I've no time to do them justice... maybe I never will. Instead I give you some e e cummings:


pity this busy monster, manunkind,

not. Progress is a comfortable disease:
your victim (death and life safely beyond)

plays with the bigness of his littleness
--- electrons deify one razorblade
into a mountainrange; lenses extend

unwish through curving wherewhen till unwish
returns on its unself.

A world of made
is not a world of born --- pity poor flesh

and trees, poor stars and stones, but never this
fine specimen of hypermagical

ultraomnipotence. We doctors know

a hopeless case if --- listen: there's a hell
of a good universe next door; let's go

Sunday, June 11, 2006

cybernetic versification?

I'm reading a summary of T.S. Eliot's biography (and skimming quickly at that) for Tuesday's class, when I read that he was influenced by the philosophy of Henri Bergson, which gets me thinking about Benedict Anderson's argument that modern time is "empty homogenous time" ... and that gets me googling Bergsonian time, to compare it to, only to find out that Norbert Weiner used it as a model for time as it is experienced by cybernetic organisms, and that it has become a standard of sorts in all kinds [pdf] of cybernetic studies.

See? It all comes back to the robots!

I hate this part of the job


I'm reading the proposals my students posted to Blackboard - which range all over the place from concise, well thought out questions, to vague 'I gotta get some books from the library' kinds of rambles - when I come across one that sends my radar into overdrive.

You see, the proposal sounds... well, it sounds like something a graduate student would write... not something a student who almost failed the midterm would write. Now, I accept that a midterm test which requires the application of learned facts to a problem (scansion) and memorization (match this passage to who wrote it) is a very different thing than typing up something at your leisure. But this proposal was just too slick to sound right.

So I set up the paper as a Turnitin assignment. It's a nifty new (and as I understand, expensive) service that scans papers for "originality" and gives you an "originality" score for the paper. I've never used the feature before, but it strikes me as a much more efficient way to check for overlapping sources than the old google it yourself routine.

I really hate it that I even have to do this.

I also realize that there is some controversy about this product. My alma mater has decided not to adopt it, but their reasoning strikes me as only partly thought out.
Dr. Patterson [Associate VP Student Affairs]also pointed out Turnitin.com can't distinguish between intentional and accidental plagiarism.

"I think it's really hard to determine where it's actual plagiarism--where there's an actual attempt to deceive--and how much of it is lack of information on how to do it properly," she explained.
What their objections ignore is the teacher. Hello? You know, the teacher? The person who has trained for a decade or more to be in the position they're in? I agree that Turnitin could produce false positives. This is partly the objection of a McGill student who challenged that school's use of the service. He objected to Turnitin's mission to "help students take more responsibility for learning, and let teachers focus on teaching." (which is why I'm using it - my time is much too valuable to spend hours googling phrases from papers!):
"That statement is basically saying that students, if given the opportunity, will plagiarize, and they're forced to prove they didn't plagiarize before their paper is even looked at"

But that's where the teacher's intelligence and discretion comes in. Just as in any other case of a plagiarism charge, the teacher needs to present evidence that the plagiarism took place. And the teacher still has the option to confront the student about unintentional plagiarism (and Turnitin has an option that allows you to resubmit a student paper in such a case).

The thing that the opponents at U of C seem to be ignoring is that Turnitin is just one of many tools a teacher will use during their career. Their knowledge of the subject matter, their evaluation of the student's performance outside the case in question, and institutional policies will all come into play in a plagiarism case. They're acting as if a bad score on Turnitin will AUTOMATICALLY translate into a failing grade, no ifs, ands, buts, or maybes. No teacher discretion. If there's no institutional policy that says that's the case, and no institutional mechanism intercepting originality scores before the teacher gets ahold of the paper, then the teacher has the option of examining the paper more closely and ignoring the report, or challenging the student about it at which time the student has the opportunity to respond to the charge.

Yes, in an ideal world, there would be no need for Turnitin. In an ideal world, there would be no need for traffic cops to enforce laws because everyone would obey them. In an ideal world, I could open any email message I receive without fear of damaging my computer.

But this ain't an ideal world. It's the real one. And sometimes, the actions of a few people, spoil it for the rest of us. That's life.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Personal Notes

  • Oldest daughter received first acceptance letter in the mail yesterday - there was much rejoicing! It isn't her first choice, but she's in and grandparents are less than an hour away for visits/support etc.

    We discovered a glitch in communication between countries when one of the other schools sent a rejection letter last week, saying she didn't have the basic requirements. Problem was just that the requirement went by a different name here, so we sent off explanatory letters to them and everyone else hoping that solves the problem.

  • Hubby is writing Canadian licensing exam this weekend. I would've loved to go with him, but he flew out about four hours before youngest daughter came home from D.C. and one of us had to be here to pick her up and drive her home.

  • Youngest daughter had a great time in D.C. - unlike here, the weather was hot and sunny the whole time. It was probably the first time she's been away without another family member around, so it was a good growing experience.

  • Oldest daughter had made arrangements for room and board with a friend over the summer, so was beginning her job search based on these arrangements. Now, suddenly, the family may need to move and if they are in a smaller place, they will not have room for her and we'll have to make alternate arrangements. It's not so much that we have to change plans, but that we have to change them at the last minute.

  • I am far too sentimental. I sorted some old receipts this weekend, and some of the receipts reminded me of places or people who I'd been with when I'd made the purchase. I found myself feeling a bit nostalgic about the times/places those receipts represented. Usually you'd expect photographs to trigger fond memories, not receipts - goes to show how anal I am about keeping them I guess [in all fairness though, I've been audited by Student Finance twice during my student years and by Revenue Canada three times in my life - twice during the time we've lived out of country and those receipts have saved me a world of grief when that happens]

Friday, June 09, 2006

Just a matter of degree?

A good journalistic sense will sometimes compel a writer to sensationalize a subject - create an eye catching headline, or start off with a sensational first sentence, or even a ridiculous cartoon. Just like this article, "Among the Transhumanists: Cyborgs, self-mutilators and the Future of our Race" from Slate does.

The second paragraph asks the question: Why do we shrug at botox, liposuction, and circumcision? but get grossed out by guys like Lizardman? What seems at first a rhetorical question actually becomes a way of mocking transhumanists for being just too "weird", essentially too idealistic or irrational "incoherent" and just plain "creepy"

The article ends on a derisive note, dismissing even the mildest claims to the betterment of the human race (and isn't this what countless doctors, philosophers, educators, philanthropists etc. have been doing for ages already?) by presenting them alongside the most outrageous.

But when you think of it,
the difference between lizardman's brow ridge implants and a buttock implant really aren't that different. Both are cosmetic modifications that change the shape of the body by inserting an implant below the skin/muscle.

I understand that on one level it's about societal notions of beauty, the acceptance of female body modification for those aims and a host of other social factors, but once you peel all that away, seems to me it's really just a matter of degree.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Up Down Up Down

On Tuesday, I began the following rant:
I just had one of the worst teaching days ever! Yes, I know I said that only about a month ago, but this one was worse!

What made it worse was not so much the actual class, even though the students were woefully unprepared for class itself, but the fact that this was the day my supervisor was sitting in on class. It felt like I was pulling teeth to get them to talk (and I know someone who pulls teeth and he makes it sound easier than this was) Then there were the several times when I felt awkward, out of control, and like I was talking a different language - one the students themselves didn't speak.... which I suppose is what I was doing, since I was talking poetry language, and they hadn't even read the poems I was talking about!

I couldn't figure it out at first. I thought maybe I was more nervous than usual because my supervisor was there (even though I only felt marginally nervous by the time class started) and that's why class seemed to be limping along, but then at one point I just stopped and asked how many hadn't read the poems. Half the class admitted to it, which means that probably 3/4 of them didn't actually read.

We didn't even have anything due today. What are they going to be like on the day the paper's due?

I despair.

And today?

Today was better. Not stellar. But soooo much better than Tuesday. Either the students who hadn't read the material masked it better, or they actually had read it.

Maybe it was me. I was so disgusted with the class on Tuesday that when I walked into the classroom, all I could think about is how much I really didn't want to be there and how unfair it was that the students could skip class whenever they didn't want to go, but the teacher can't. And then the first thing I get from them is that some of them couldn't figure out how to find the online source. Hello?! We've been downloading stuff for weeks! Does this mean you haven't downloaded anything? Or that you've forgotten everything you know about downloading?

It's a good thing no one sits in the front row because otherwise they would've heard me grind my teeth when I turned to the board to write a few notes.

But then things changed. The students started talking. One particularly brilliant one gave such a concise and descriptive summary of the first reading, that all I said was 'great! that sums it up' and moved on.

I wonder if it was the humor of the situation? After all, the second poem we talked about was called "Souvenir de Monsieur Poop"... trying saying that to a class with a straight face!

They did think that Stevie Smith's poem reminded them of Shel Silverstein's, and many of them were fans of his... my kids are fans of his too, which makes me feel so much older than those students now...


On the other hand, I did also only have three quarters of the students there, which might account for why it went as well as it did - the slackers stayed home so they weren't dead weight in the classroom.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Minding someone else's business

A few minutes ago, I was sitting studying, feeling a little tired of all the reading I'd been doing when I hear this very strange thud from outside. Normally, I don't respond to much going on outside unless I'm lying in wait for a delivery truck, or someone is actually banging on part of my house, but the thud I heard was an unusual one.

I couldn't think of anything that would make such a sound.

So I got up and looked out the window - anything for a study break, right?

Imagine my surprise when I see a body at the bottom of the stairs leading to our house!

We ran outside, ferrying towels, first aid kit and umbrellas. I called hubby since he's the one with the most medical training in the house while I called 911.

It was one of our neighbors. I've talked to her only a couple of times. She's retired, used to own a wine store (hence we had something to talk about) and lives about six houses down.

She should be okay. She was able to stand, so her back wasn't hurt. She was very disoriented though, which is why the paramedics hauled her off... that, and she needed stitches to the side of her head and her nose was probably broken.

My willingness to suspend studying for the smallest thing - in this case a thud - worked out for the best this time. She'd fallen down a flight of three stairs, but the stairs are there because the front yard slopes, and it would've been difficult to see her from the street, or anywhere other than our house or the neighbor's (which is empty right now). So if I hadn't gotten up and looked out the window, she could've laid there a long time without anyone noticing.

It kinda feels good to know we could help someone today.

I don't understand

Seeing as two people near to my heart are visiting Washington D.C. in the next month, I was having a conversation about the whitehouse and tours with one of them. She pointed out that there is a very strange list of prohibited items if you take a White House tour (which she unfortunately can't because she's a foreign national).

They include:
handbags, book bags, backpacks, purses, food and beverages of any kind, strollers, cameras, video recorders or any type of recording device, tobacco products, personal grooming items (make-up, hair brush or comb, lip or hand lotions, etc.), any pointed objects (pens, knitting needles, etc.), aerosol containers, guns, ammunition, fireworks, electric stun guns, mace, martial arts weapons/devices, or knives of any size

While the weapons certainly make sense, just as the pointed objects and aerosol containers, I'm not sure what kind of damage a hair brush could do. I've seen some bad hairdos, including that oh-so-brief flirtation with backcombing in the 80s, but really, if someone were to backcomb Mr. Pres's hair, they really couldn't make him look any more ridiculous than this.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Sometimes I think somebody just needs to stop me

I just invited my supervisor to watch me teach on Tuesday.

Why?

I don't KNOW! It seemed like a really good idea at the time...

Monday, May 29, 2006

Bodies or minds?

I've found myself wondering what kinds of connections there might be between robots and artificial intelligence. Are the anxieties and delights of each similar? Do we worry more about AI replacing humans, or robots? Do we worry at all? How do the different performances of robots and artificial intelligence systems affect our view of their relative hostility to human beings?

I found myself thinking about these questions (when I should've been prepping for the poetry class) after I'd looked at the ten coolest robots site posted earlier.

Both artificial intelligence and robots are duplications of humans - each attempts to replicate what humans can do through available technology. Both are also decidedly non-organic, which distinguishes AI and robots from cloning or genetic engineering which uses as its base materials the same stuff human bodies are already made of. So robots and AI skirt the problem of being too much like us because they're not built out of the same materials as us.

(Though to this last point, one could argue that it isn't robots who are becoming like us, but we who are becoming like robots as we increasingly rely on the kinds of materials robots are made out of to create artificial hips, hearts, or cochlear implants)

When I read science fiction (or science fact for that matter) about artificial intelligence and robots, they are relatively indistinguishable in their ability to threaten human beings, but they way in which they do so is distinctly different. I would take The Terminator (the first one) and I, Robot as two films that are representative of the difference between robot threats and AI threats in literature, as well as in the writing of some futurists who think about what our world would like like if when science fiction becomes science fact.

In The Terminator, the AI that builds the terminator machines and threatens to wipe out humanity bases its decision on logic and enacts it through the bodies of the robots it creates. The threat of nuclear war - its primary mode of attack against the humans - is presented as a threat only through the dreams of Sarah Connor however. The storyline of the film does not take us to the place where the AI dwells, or even to the battlesites it creates except through Reese's memories (flashbacks) or in Sarah's imagination of what that world looks like. The repetition of the opening sequence, which could conceivably be argued to be a glimpse of the storyworld of the future, in a dream/memory, clearly labels it as a memory, and subject to amplification or modification as most memories and dreams are. So we never see where the AI "lives".

In Terminator we also never "see" the AI, which presumably is embodied somewhere as the defense system, and so as viewers we are never directly presented with the "enemy" and have no visual image of what it looks like. [The Terminator attraction at Orlando does however present an image of the AI, not present in any of the movies, in its 3D stage/cinema production in which the freedom fighters actually penetrate the defense system and blow up the "mind" of Skynet (which looks suspiciously like the power system inside the Deathstar)]

As viewers, we only see the threat of the robot body as it stalks, maims, and eventually kills human bodies.

In I, Robot, the intelligence behind the robot threat is also less overtly threatening than the robot bodies. We are presented with VIKI, both as the visual display at the interface with which the humans interact and also in her housing (which again, is suspended in midair... what's with this motif in film anyway?). But VIKI isn't perceived as a threat until late in the film. Because we identify with the paranoid protagonist, as viewers, our perception of the threat is kept in line with the threat Spooner perceives, which is literally embodied in the robot bodies of the new NS5 models.

These two movies pinpoint the two real differences between robots and AI that seem to underly our anxieties about the threat they pose; one is highly visible and somatic, while the other difference lies in the imitative nature of each technology.

AI is a cognitive threat - a machine that can outthink human beings - but because the threat is from the machine's ability to think, it is largely invisible, just as our mental processes are not visible to others. In some ways, this makes the threat more insidious because you can't see it coming. It also makes the threat less immediate because there's no object which fear can point to as the threat. In the Terminator movie in particular, the threat posed by AI is global - the extermination of all humans - which is hard for the audience to imagine, given that it is composed of human beings and our collective ego has a very difficult time imagining a world in which we no longer exist.

Malevolent AI systems contain the threat of an intelligent opponent, but more importantly, of an emotionless opponent. In most human conflicts, there have always been human connections that defy the logic of the opposition between two sides - think the actions of people like Oskar Schindler or Christmas Day armistices. One on one, we at least have the option of appealing to common humanity when confronting an enemy. When confronting an AI system, there is no commonality aside from the ability to use logic, but for the AI system, unlike humans, emotion or sentiment is not a part of a reasoned argument. The inhumane thoughts of AI are what is most threatening; they're also what we can't see coming.

The technology of robots is embodied in a physical object, so the threat is much more immediate. The threat is also directed against human bodies. In I, Robot, Will Smith's character is physically pummeled by the robots, he chases Sonny, and the police are held hostage by the physical intervention of the robots; the human race is threatened, but the image of the threat is embodied in the robots themselves, not VIKI. In this way, robots are easier to imagine as enemies. They are physically present, but although they are strong, they are not indestructable. We can imagine ways of getting past their strengths by using even greater strength. Sarah Connor's act of crushing the Terminator brings that home in the movie.

But what is the weapon against an AI system that has decided that human beings are unnecessary (or perhaps even dangerous)? The logic that produces such a decision cannot be reversed by an appeal to sentiment or emotion. When it comes right down to it, the threat posed by malevolent AI in science fiction often emerges from the observation that logically, the human race has done nothing that automatically warrants its survival. We've messed up the planet, we mess each other up, we're thinking about going out and messing up the rest of the universe. What logical intelligence would conclude that keeping human beings around has any benefit whatsoever? Let's face it, we don't have much going for us.

So each threat - from AI or from robots gone bad - emerges from a difference between AI or robots and humans. The robot threat - strength and a hard body - can be countered by our use of other machines. The AI threat can only be countered by an appeal to sentiment, something that won't work on a machine, no matter how eloquently stated. In science fiction, the threat from AI intelligence has greater consequences for human beings, usually because the AI has been given a lot of power, but it's relatively rare that a story imagines only an AI threat. In most disaster scenarios, the AI needs robot bodies, or at least machines, to carry out its plans, returning us to materiality just as the robot body does. So it looks like bodies still win as the immediate threat that gets the most air time, but more distubing possibilities lie in the possibility that a malevolent AI could do more damage than a legion of robots could ever accomplish.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Since I can't read poetry all day

This list of top ten robots certainly are some of the coolest robots I've ever seen.

I especially like:
The RiSE treeclimbing robot (#8)
Boston Robotics' Big Dog - The Robotic Mule (#3);
and RHex - The Robotic Pooch (#7)
and the The Robot Bartender (#10)

I might have been more amazed by the Honda Asimo (#4) and the Sony QRIO (#5) but I'd seen them before, so they lost out to the novelty items on the list.

So which one's your favorite?

Friday, May 26, 2006

Flame out

I should've known when I cheered for the Oilers three years ago in a game against Boston that I'd eventually develop a kindly streak toward the team.

Given that they're the only Alberta and now Canadian team to make it to the finals, I'll cheer for them. I did last night. I'm not the only convert. And they have some fabulous fans... just listen to them! (I especially like the fan behind I think it's Ryan Smyth... he's just belting it out!) I miss that. The stations here don't play other countries anthems unless absolutely necessary, so it's a rare occasion when I get to hear O Canada sung, let alone so enthusiastically.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Oddities

Saw a woman wearing one of these. It looks a little creepy on the street.

Sign said "We are undergoing renovations. Sorry for the inconvenience" When I looked beyond the chain link fence, all that was left of the McDonald's was a hole in the ground. Some renovations!

The classroom just became a friendlier place

So today I figured it was make or break day - either eye roller was going to push it farther and do something that I'd have to slap her down about, or she'd get back in line. She wasn't in class right at the beginning, so I thought at first she'd decided class was useless, but then she showed up.

She didn't put her sunglasses on at any point in class - this was an improvement from Tuesday when she wore them for the remainder of class after her comment. She made friendly with others and with me during the break, then participated in discussion afterwards. I'm thinking, this is improvement and maybe we won't have problems.

Then she came up after class. And apologized for Tuesday.

It doesn't make the bad teaching day go away, but at least now I don't feel like I'm totally tanking either.

Thanks eye roller.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

What a day

Just had one of my worst teaching days ever. I've had bad days before, but this one seems especially bad... probably because it went bad right from the beginning, and the class was 2 1/2 hours long.

I wasn't really enthusiastic about the material, but I found an interesting angle for approaching it and was trying to connect it to the writing that we've already studied. I figured out it was going to go bad about twenty minutes in, when after the announcements, my bio blurb about the poet and the first read through of the poem, the first comment was so off base that it was almost ridiculous.

Even though I indicated the poem was more complex than the comment allowed, several other students jumped at the interpretation and insisted upon it, no matter how many times I pointed out that there wasn't anything in the poem to support such an interpretation. No matter how many times I'd ask a student to point out the line in the poem that clearly states their claim that the poem was about a single subject, not the plural subject that it is about, they insisted upon reading it as a poem about how every reader has their own unique interpretation of the poem.

NO! It's not about the reader! I wanted to scream. But I kept calm. I finally got them to understand that the poem meant something else than what they were obsessed with, and we moved to the next poem. They were still having difficulty, but I was starting to get through to them. I announced we'd turn to the third poem, which should have nailed it for them and put everything back on track, when a student - one who I wouldn't have imagined would be worried about it - asked about the midterm.

In the course of answering questions and indicating that the exam would cover all the assigned material, not just what we specifically went over in class, eye-roller asked "then what's the point of coming to class?" to which I answered that the midterm was only worth 10% of her mark and she might want to learn something in order to fulfill the other assignments in the course. (I knew better than to appeal to her desire to be better educated or just learn something for the joy of learning itself- she's actively counting the minutes till the course is over)

Another student, sensing the inanity of the questions, asked whether the staples would be straight up and down or at an angle on the exam, which of course lightened things up, but by then I was so annoyed, I was having a real difficulty getting back on track.

We took a break, and when we returned I mostly had it together, but I ended up just lecturing at them mostly because I just didn't have the energy or desire to let them talk.

I think students learn best when they talk - when they're challenged with questions and have to find the answers themselves instead of just having it handed to them, but it's harder as a teacher to do so because so often they end up with some really weird stuff that you have to respectfully debunk while pointing them in the right direction.

But maybe I need to lecture more and guide less.

It's not my style, but I can certainly give it a try.

I hope I feel better about it in the morning.

Friday, May 19, 2006

It IS a small world

The far North and deep South have more in common than I ever thought possible.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

CONGRATULATIONS!

So I heard a certain somebody give his valedictorian speech this last week - how cool is that!? - and he absolutely rocked the house! I thought the speech was fabulous, but his classmates loved it even more. I knew this guy was great ever since I met him, but it's also nice to know that other people also think so!

Then I watched him at commencement, also cool, which was also on Mother's Day, so we had plenty to celebrate that day... the only damper on the day was the pouring rain/leaky basement. But other than that it was fabulous!

I'm so proud of you babe!

Q: why do we call it convocation in Canada and they call it commencement here?

In which I wax poetic

You may remember how I was worrying about how to fill 210 minutes of class twice a week. Looks like that's less of a worry than I at first thought.

Having never taught for such a long time period before, I worried about how to fill such a large time slot. I also worried about the stamina of the students and whether they'd be able to keep up.

They're able to keep up (mostly) and they even seem eager to talk, which makes classtime so much easier to manage. They did get a little wearied by the scansion exercise yesterday. And I was very confused about how difficult a time some of them had grasping the concept. I had one student who swears she cannot tell which syllable the emphasis is on for any given word. I've never met anyone who couldn't figure that out.

I also thought that kids do this in school... don't they? She recalled a clapping exercise, but still claims she cannot tell which syllable to emphasize, even though she is clearly able to because her speech isn't full of weird emphases. She's also the student who rolled her eyes when I said the exam was cumulative, so I'm chalking it up to obstinacy, and just a piss poor attitude about the course.

note to self in ideal world: ask her why the hell she chose the course if she hates it so much or if she's always just this negative and whether she has many friends
I realized that most of my posting has been about this poetry class, which is not only boring for you, dear reader, but also indicates a relative lack of imagination or variety in my blog life. That's mostly because this course is eating up every spare minute that I have. I'm sure my head will be able to emerge out of my ass sometime soon... at least I hope so!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Teaching modern poetry

Teaching an elective is SO different from teaching required courses!

Sure, there are students in the class only because it fulfills a requirement. And some of those students have put it off long enough that this is the only class that they can take to fulfill that requirement before they graduate, so they're not excited about this particular course.

But most of them CHOSE this class.

Deliberately.

That's so refreshing! First day when I walked in, I was met by people who smiled and I could tell they were excited about the material. Yes, I did have a lot of "is this going to be on the exam?" kind of questions... and one eye roller when I said the final was cumulative, but c'mon people! the term's only seven weeks long! If you can't remember what you did seven weeks earlier, you should be getting a CAT scan... or staying awake in class at least.

Comparing notes with the other TA teaching a lit course this term, we were really surprised to find that her general Brit Lit course had half the students enrolled in it as mine. We couldn't figure it out, since her course is required, covers a broader range of material, and isn't poetry (which isn't always popular with undergrads... I know I wouldn't have elected to take it if it wasn't required a U of C).

I finally figured it out after I looked at the course catalog and quizzed my students about why they were in the course. My course fulfills a general "social sciences and humanities" core requirement that ALL students in Arts and Sciences have to fulfill, and the number of seniors in my class tells me that many of them have put it off till now - I have polisci majors, chem majors, graphic design, philosophy, business, you name it, and I've probably got it!

I've always found such mixes successful for discussions because students have so many different perspectives that they bring to the table that you don't end up with parroting and groupthink that sometimes happens when you're only teaching one major. But it's also made me realize that I will have to spend more time than I expected on some basics like how to scan poetry, rhyme schemes, poetic devices and effects, and sound effects.

The trick will be to teach the students who don't know this stuff, without boring the hell out of the English majors that are in the class - they make up roughly a third of the students. I'm figuring on trying to get them working in groups where there's at least one English major per group. That way the major gets to 'teach' and not get bored, while the non-majors learn what they need to know.

Regardless of the challenges that I'll still run into teaching this course, so far it's been a fabulous experience, and I'm really looking forward to the rest of the term!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

ummm...I don't get the connection...


According to CTV, the Senate proposed a levy on alcoholic drinks to pay for mental health programs.

Why beer and mental health?

Okay, aside from the 'some of it makes you feel good while too much is pathological' connection, why target beer taxation to fund mental health programs? They need to be funded, sure, definitely in fact, but I don't get the connection.

What's next?
New gas tax to fund childcare subsidies?
New cigarette tax to fund post office expansion?

I'm all for increased mental health funding, but I find it puzzling that revenues for the project are being generated specifically through increased alcohol taxation.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Talking and Listening

So I was telling a colleague over the weekend how many students I have in this summer poetry class - 28 - and she said, "Oh, so it's a lecture class then"

I really hope not! I don't think I can talk about modern poetry for seven hours a week. I can talk a lot when I need to, but seven hours? that's pushing it!

I'm actually hoping to have a discussion component in the class - I've built in a participation mark to encourage people to talk - and I'd like ideally for the class as a group to discuss the poetry. I think it would be far more pedantic to have to format discussion as small groups, because then you have to use discussion questions, which frankly get a bit annoying and students feel like it's just make-work.

At the same time, I know with 28 students, it's going to be real hard to get all of them talking. I know there will be some students who will talk all the time, while others will try to say nothing at all. But I'm going to try it anyway.... 'cause if I have to lecture for seven hours a week, my head will pop right off!

Friday, May 05, 2006

Scheduling

So I'm prepping for the summer course I'm teaching - Modern Poetry - which is pretty exciting because it's a lit course which I've never gotten to teach before. Closest I'd come is a guest lecture on Gawain in my supervisor's Medieval Lit during my MA.

I'm feeling pretty good about the material. I know which artists, poems, movements I want to talk about, but the schedule is what's giving me trouble.

I'm teaching twice a week, 210 minutes per class. Yes, 210 minutes - that's three and a half hours twice a week that we meet. Yikes! I know I've done classes that long, but they're hard! The only time I did that as an undergrad was a block week course in Canadian art. We met twice a day for two and a half hours for a full week. But in that class, half the day was spent on lit, and the other half on visual art, so it was really only like sitting through two different - albeit still long - lectures.

Here, we're talking about poetry the whole time. I want to keep their attention for both halves of the course, and don't want students deciding to ditch the second half at the break - which I know will be a temptation 'cause I've fallen victim to it myself before.

I've decided to treat each day as if they were two different classes, with two different topics, two different lectures, and possibly even two different poets to focus on. I think that will be the way to combat the weariness that I'm sure we'll all feel by the end of 210 minutes. Let's hope that does the trick.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Bloodsuckers


Dracula Blogged begins again today. If you've ever had the urge to read the original vampire story (no, not the first, but the one that has the most cachet in pop culture) you can read it day by day over at Dracula Blogged.

The novel is written as a compilation of documents, all dated, and they're posted according to those dates. If you've read the novel, the blog gives you a very different sense of the story, as it unfolds in chronological order, not page by page, which lends it a sense of veracity you can't get from the book or even from film adaptations. Check it out.

Game 7

So, yes, it is only the quarterfinals, but game 7 between the Ducks and Flames goes on tonight, and I really wouldn't mind seeing the Flames win it. Then they'd advance to play the Oilers, which would be an interesting series to watch... provided there's any coverage of it here - one would hope the semifinals would be.

In honor, I give you

25 Signs Showing You Might be Canadian:

1. You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK".
2. You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine on the chesterfield" not that I'd ever say something like this
3. You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.
4. You drink Pop, not Soda.
5. You know what 'Mickey' and '2-4' mean - I used the term "mickey" here once and was greeted by a lot of confusion... who knew it was a Canadian thing?
6. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars, lots of rum, and no Americans.
7. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.
8. You drive on a highway, not a freeway... and they're often not free
9. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
10. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group...though it would be a good name for one, eh?
11. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
12. You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion & many more, are Canadians.
13. You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!
14. You know what a touque is...and own one.
15. You design your Halloween costumes to fit over snowsuits.
16. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed" not "Zee"
17. Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
18. You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction. so true! especially in Saskatchewan!
19. You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day!
20. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
21. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan". (Sas-Kat-chew-an)
22. You perk up when you hear the theme song from 'Hockey Night in Canada'...ah...memories
23. You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade.
24. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more polite than,"Huh?"
25. You actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all of your Canadian friends (and then you send them to your American friends just to confuse them...)

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Desperation has an ugly smell

So I could tell the university had posted marks for the term by the small flurry of emails I received this morning from students who thought they'd been gypped in the marks they got. Several of them conveniently "forgot" the attendance policy even though it is clearly outlined on the syllabus, I go over it on the first day and remind them of it on a regular basis throughout the term.

I don't know what it is, but this term was worse than usual...all through the term actually. Lots of whiny, grade-grubbing students who spent a lot of time and energy trying to convince me they should get higher grades than they did. I wish they'd spent that much time and energy on just doing the work - then it wouldn't have been a problem! Sheesh!

Monday, May 01, 2006

Benefits of a cultural studies dissertation #31

I spent my weekend watching music videos


Shock To The System
By Billy Idol
BestVideoCodes.com



reading comic books







watching movies





All in the name of research! At least the book review is finally finished (it took much longer than I expected it to).