Better than expected, yet weird

The conference paper went over better than I expected it to - I really had expected to be challenged about my work, and although I saw a few puzzled faces, there were also a few smiles, and the questions/comments after were encouraging. One other presenter said he liked my style, which was pretty nice to hear since style is something that I've struggled with developing over the last few years.

It has also been weird being here. I found myself contemplating going to the graduate caucus meeting two days ago, then realized that I was no longer a graduate student. So those concerns, although still important, are not directly my concerns anymore.

That felt weird.

And I still find myself gravitating toward talking to graduate students at meet and greets and those kinds of things. Part of that is because graduate students are usually more open to complete strangers approaching them and they attend these things without having an already built-in network of buddies to hang out with.

It means I meet interesting, new people. But unless we both show up at the same conference a few years in a row, it usually doesn't amount to an ongoing connection. Not that those kinds of professional connections will actually be useful. None of us as grad students (or now as a newly doctored but untenured underemployed sessional) have any power in this game. So connections are comfortable, but their networking power will only emerge several years down the road.

There's a sizeable contingent here from my alma mater, and they are all quite intent on sticking to themselves, which unfortunately means that the people who I know from previous encounters don't seem interested in expanding their circle at this conference. So I find others to talk to.

I've talked to some very interesting people, including an international scholar whose name is the same as a very famous actor and who consequently has even better stories than mine about border crossing guard questions. It's been a productive conference so far and the bigger meet and greet is tonight, so I'm interested in meeting other new people as well.

But it will be nice to get back home again, as always.

End of May RBOC

In the last week:

• three weeks after the defense and I finally feel fairly normal again. Not that this will last long (see bullet #4)
• we doubled the size of our patio this weekend by pulling up part of the lawn and installing flagstones. It happened without any major glitches and looks great! There are a couple of hours of additional work that should still be done, mostly because by Monday I was too sore to keep going, but we've just effectively doubled the usable space, which will be really nice this summer.
• youngest daughter is graduating this week! She's pretty happy with the state of affairs, as are we, though it's really hard to believe that she's going to be finished soon! When did I get this old?
  
• I head off to a conference just after youngest daughter's grad. Due to inattention on my part (I booked the flight during a particularly hectic point in the semester), I am flying red-eye to the east coast a mere 3 hours after the grad banquet. Also, I don't sleep well on planes at all, so it's not going to be a pretty arrival. Luckily, I don't present till the second day, which is better than the time I spent the night on the Toronto airport floor and then presented later that morning. Don't want to do that again!
• the paper that I'm delivering came together unlike any paper I've ever written before. It seemed easy, which of course scares me a bit because I suspect it seemed easy only because it's simple-minded. But I felt like I really knew what I wanted to do and just pulled it all together. There was some flailing as I mentioned before, but it was actually much shorter-lived than usual, and I'm inexplicably impressed with the state of the paper. I guess I'll have to see what audience reaction is like to find out if I indeed nailed it, or missed the boat entirely!

So that's what's going on in our neck of the woods. It'll be nice to see June roll around since April and May have seemed really full of activity!

Flailing

After blogging about my excitement about being a doctor now, I'm mired in a mess of writing that feels just like it did when I wasn't yet a doctor. How's that for a shower of cold water on that delight?

The flailing around in this writing project is a bit urgent. The paper needs to be delivered next Saturday at a conference, and I have several meetings, small projects and travel that have to also happen before then. So I've got a little less than a week to turn that flailing in the muck of this draft (very drafty!) into an elegant swan dive (or perhaps just a dog paddle....) [Yes, the metaphor is breaking down]

The time frame makes me a bit anxious in the way that flailing within a dissertation chapter didn't because the time frames there, even though I set many deadlines, were a bit more flexible.

But the great thing about that long and drawn out process of writing (and completing! hehe) a dissertation is that it taught me that the flailing seems to be a necessary part of the process. (At least, it's necessary for me. Perhaps there are people out there who don't flail/just write, but I'm not one of them.) So I know it won't last. If I keep typing/erasing/retyping, and re-reading, and thinking (usually by wandering around the house muttering to myself), I'll get it pulled together.

Knowing I'll do it doesn't make the discomfort of flailing any easier though....

Still tickling my fancy

It's now been two weeks since I passed the defense and officially became a doctor. It still does not fail to delight me to be reminded of that.

I know it'll get old after a while, but right now, hearing someone call me doctor always puts a smile on my face. Can't help it - I'm just so tickled by the fact that it's finally finished!

What know they of cricket who only cricket know?

wrote the great West Indian Marxist CLR James.

Good, Bad and Ugly

THE GOOD:
... is that I have a section of the new GenEd course that I'm going to teach (and am very psyched about) as well as a section of the survey course for fall (whoopee! Got my first choice!). A third course would be good because then I would be able to keep my benefits but we'll see what happens. I might get the poetry survey, since the chair and I figured out it would work nicely into my schedule and it may need to be covered. Two new preps and one second-go-round (which means I'll be revising the course outline), but that's a nice load.

THE BAD:
... is that because of the ugly below, I am all out of sorts today and only just beginning to get my head back into the space it needs to be for the dissertation defense in three short days! I know I can get back into it, but it's a bit disturbing how little concentration I've been able to harness over the last several days.

THE UGLY:
... is the 26cm of snow we got overnight on Thursday (that's almost a foot for you non-metric people). I had an exam at 8am that morning. I left the house at 6am for what is usually a 25 minute drive and yet I was over an hour late for the exam AND had to abandon the car on the side of the road.

This picture was actually taken a few kms from my house but several hours later. When I was leaving the house, the snow was much, much deeper. I dug myself out twice on the way, but the third time, I just couldn't get out and had to abandon the car for the bus. Little did I know that road closures meant the bus stop I was waiting at wasn't going to be serviced. I'm grateful to the good samaritan neighbour who told me the buses weren't getting through and drove me the kilometer to a place where I could catch one!

I managed to get someone else to start the exam, but it still started an hour late, so some students had to leave at the scheduled end time, which meant I spent the rest of Thursday arranging an alternate writing day/time for those students. The last of them finished the exam this morning. So for the last three days, it's just felt like one loooong exam. Very tiring.

Weird part is, it's been gorgeous since then and there's only the tiniest of snowbanks left. Very little proof of the madness that was Thursday morning.