Saturday, December 18, 2004

Hard at work, or hardly working?

I suppose from an external view, someone watching me working (writing) might think it doesn't like very hard - no sweating, no blisters, no painful personality clashes with office mates...

But I find it hard. I get anxious. I find it hard to sit still. I rewrite the same sentence again and again. Other sentences I completely gloss over because I don't even want to look at them, I'm convinced they're just that bad, beyond redemption. I wonder if what I'm writing right now fits with the rest of the paper. I wander off in tangents and start talking about things that detract from my central point... I mean, really detract. I wonder how I'm going to explain myself (especially hard when I don't know what I'm talking about!) I think of all the things I could be doing instead.

Writing is the absolute worst part of my job - especially when I'm under a time constraint.

And I just heard the "good" news that another paper was accepted. So that's two definites and a maybe for this year.

Pathetic thing is, it's the maybe that's driving me nuts right now.

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