50 Book Challenge

So, all the rage this year is the 50 Book Challenge. The idea is that you commit to read 50 books over the year. Opinions vary about what's required, but the basic elements are: 1) read 50 books, and 2) blog about them (either on a hosted site or on your own). I went over to my book site and counted about 25 books blogged about since May when I started keeping track... pretty close to a 50 book a year count (and I didn't include any poetry, criticism, or theory in the list).

So I figured, what the heck! It's a good goal to shoot for - so I'm officially beginning a 50 book a year challenge.

On your mark, get set, READ!

Soggy toes

soggy toes...oh I have soggy toes... 'cause there's water, water everywhere!

The little weather thingy at the bottom of the page says there's 'light rain' - which I suppose technically is correct. But when that light rain is falling on top of an earlier dousing of freezing rain and snow, that means slush up to your knees... hence the soggy toes!

Resolution? What is this word "resolution"?

Five days in and I'm still avoiding thinking of new year's resolutions. I suppose that has something to do with the fact that I made three last year and only made good on one of them.

So... the question is: do I just import last year's resolutions, or invent new ones? I still want to do both of the things on the list, but am afraid I will jinx them by putting them on again. On the other hand, I can't think of anything new that I want to commit to this year, so putting the old stuff on the new list would just be expedient, wouldn't it?

I've had mixed luck with resolutions - sometimes I've stuck with them, and sometimes they've pretty much fallen by the wayside. I've been most successful when I've made the kind that start "sometime this year I will..." smoking and divorcing my first husband come to mind... but the ones that are more vague "I would like to be more..." tend to be so amorphous that they are not only difficult to implement (am I actually being more... right now?) but it is also difficult to know whether or not I have achieved them (was I actually more... at any point this year?)

Part of the problem is that I'm not feeling particularly resolute right now. That would imply that I'm feeling pro-active, not the passive mood that I'm currently entertaining (which partially arises out of a feeling of depression looking at the pile of books I have to read sometime soon).

I've also wondered if new year's resolutions are supposed to be like birthday wishes... do they only come true/happen if you don't tell anyone? Or is it the reverse and they only happnen IF you tell someone? I've never really shared mine with anyone before, so I have no empirical evidence either way. If anyone knows whether there's a rule for this, let me know.

I suppose you could argue that publicizing them would allow your friends and family to call you on it, but that could also be really annoying.

So, right now, all I've got for resolutions is to recycle the leftovers from last year. What remains to be seen is whether I actually get around to them this year!

Music

Filled the CD changer with new music to enjoy while reading today:

Forty Licks Rolling Stones
Something Beautiful Great Big Sea
How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb U2
Flugrekorder Nicht Offnen Rammstein

Nice mix... thanks to my wonderful husband and kids

Luxurious is a synonym for a good vacation

How absolutely wonderful to do nothing AT ALL for a week and a half. It has been so very long since I've had a break like that, which made it all that much sweeter!

I visited friends (some twice!) who I hadn't seen in a long time, ate, drank, watched movies and not much else - okay, so maybe for you that ain't heaven, but for me, that's downright celestial bliss.

My brother in law and I took the kids to the Leisure Center on Christmas eve [note: going to the Leisure Center on Christmas eve was a brainstorm - we had the place almost to ourselves!] The kids loved the waves and waterslide - I spent much of the time following my 7 year old nephew through the complex and waiting at the bottom of waterslides to catch him... which was cool!

Our whole family was together for Christmas and Boxing Day - something that hasn't happened for probably four years... longer than we've been gone even. My nieces and nephews are getting big! My far-away sister and I braved the shopping malls on Boxing Day and I was rewarded by finding a Board Doctor jacket for Angie at half price - guaranteed to -35C - not that we have those kinds of temps here! but she'll be warm anyway.

We also drove out to Banff for the one day that Dwayne was with us and it rose above -15! The wind was chilly, so we ducked quickly into our favorite candy store and the Cow store, but the wind was blocked up at the Hot Springs and the contrast between the air temp (about -12) and the water (41!) was very, very relaxing... I was glad Dwayne was driving 'cause my muscles felt like putty after all that heat!

Coming home was a bit depressing - I know we've only been here for a little more than 2 years, so I can't expect to be as familiar with the city as I am with Calgary, but I felt more comfortable with the familiar surroundings of Calgary (even though I was staying in my sister's house and my niece's bedroom - surrounded by Avril Lavine posters) than I do in my own house here in Boston. I think one of the things that makes me feel uncomfortable here is the whole visa thing at the border every time we come back - it reminds me that I don't belong here, I'm only a visitor... an "alien"... and that my stay is only temporary... at least under our current status. I suppose comfort comes with time. I just hope that some day I'll feel just as comfortable here as I do there.

Great vacation! just wish it had lasted even longer...

426 Emails

Sometimes, going away sucks... at least, the coming back part does...

End of vacation

"So coming back from a journey or after an illness, before habits had spun themselves across the surface, one felt that same unreality, which was so startling; felt something emerge. Life was most vivid then. One could be at one's ease."

Virginia Woolf To the Lighthouse

Happy New Year!

Boy! was it nice to sleep in my own bed last night!

Not that my vacation was horrible, or the bed a bad one (actually quite nice) but it was really nice to just be at home again.

My head aches today - hangover? no - I wish! - head cold - and my ears still haven't unplugged from the last airplane descent... *sigh* I hope they do soon.

And now it's a new year - I suppose I should spend some time today thinking about resolutions... Hope you had a good holiday and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Scurry... Christmas... Scurry

Christmas came early to our house - almost a week early - since we opened gifts this morning. I got some cool stuff, some stuff I wanted, and some stuff I totally didn't expect - which is a pretty nice combination, don't you think?

We opened presents from mom & dad, even though we're seeing them in a few days. They didn't know we were coming home for Christmas (neither did we) when they were here at Thanksgiving (the Canadian one), so they left gifts at that time.

My mom is very organized.

So is my dad come to think of it.

Hmmm... so what mutant gene did I get? Shouldn't organization be (at least in part) genetic?

So now this afternoon everyone is frantically doing laundry and packing, while I'm heading out to my book club to discuss... how right is this?... A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

God bless us, everyone!

Hard at work, or hardly working?

I suppose from an external view, someone watching me working (writing) might think it doesn't like very hard - no sweating, no blisters, no painful personality clashes with office mates...

But I find it hard. I get anxious. I find it hard to sit still. I rewrite the same sentence again and again. Other sentences I completely gloss over because I don't even want to look at them, I'm convinced they're just that bad, beyond redemption. I wonder if what I'm writing right now fits with the rest of the paper. I wander off in tangents and start talking about things that detract from my central point... I mean, really detract. I wonder how I'm going to explain myself (especially hard when I don't know what I'm talking about!) I think of all the things I could be doing instead.

Writing is the absolute worst part of my job - especially when I'm under a time constraint.

And I just heard the "good" news that another paper was accepted. So that's two definites and a maybe for this year.

Pathetic thing is, it's the maybe that's driving me nuts right now.

Sprechen Sie Englisch? Nein!

Studies show that the Chinese and Japanese both consume a low fat diet and fewer die of heart attacks than Americans or the British.

The French eat a relatively high fat diet but still have fewer die of heart attacks than Americans or the British.

Drinking red wine has been shown to be good for your heart. The Italians drink a good deal of red wine and fewer die of heart attacks than Americans or the British.

Japanese people do not drink much red wine, but they still have fewer die of heart attacks than Americans or the British.

The moral of the story?

It doesn't matter what you eat or drink. It's speaking English that kills you!

How small can you go?

Five years ago when I last bought a cell phone, I picked the smallest one available.

It looks monstrously huge beside my new phone - I'm afraid I'm gonna lose the thing - it's that small - makes me wonder how much smaller they can get - it really is just slightly larger than a man's sports watch.

Goddamn FedEx!

Sitting here perched on the edge of my couch trying to get work done while I wait for the sound of the FedEx truck that's supposed to deliver new cellphones (Christmas present to ourselves).

Why am I perched here, watching the reflections from the street in the blank tv screen out of the corner of my eye while listening for the slightest rumble that would indicate a truck is pulling up? Because yesterday they claimed that no one was home when they tried to deliver when someone was indeed home and the delivery guy was too lazy to ring the doorbell or something. So I'm poised to pounce on him when he arrives so that I don't have to go through this bullshit again tomorrow.

I wouldn't even mind missing the guy and going to pick up the package at the depot, but its way the fuck out in Needham, which is a good half hour away - probably more like an hour if I tried it during rush hour.

I'm extra bitchy 'cause I have too much work - though that's mostly my fault. Monday night, my neighbor reminded me of the village christmas party, so I went (won a cool origami kit - hehe), but that transmuted into checking out 'the best wings in Watertown' - which were pretty damn good I must admit - and continuing with the Merlot. Then last night, I was at the department thing - which migrated to a dive bar near campus - four beer taps : two of which were Budweiser *shudder* - so I didn't get home till late. Maybe now that the afternoon is starting to trickle away, I'll actually get started on this week's work.

Or then again, maybe not...

But what are we without bodies?

Reading an essay by Brian Aldiss on machines in SF when he describes a novel as follows: "In Tom Maddox's novel Halo, several characters are ingested by Aleph, a controlling artificail super-intelligence installed on an orbiting satellit. Jerry Chapman is one such character. He asks Aleph what became of his body. 'It was...recycled. A robot tended your remains...'"

How is Jerry Chapman a character? He exists, presumably, as a series of memories, ones that belonged to him when his body was living. But he owes his existence to a machine. Even when he tries to recall those memories, he needs the machine to do so since he doesn't exist outside the machine. Even if his memories are 'his', they belong to a 'him' that existed with a body. Once they are stored in a machine, can he really be said to be different from the machine? Isn't claiming that Jerry is a character a bit like reducing him to the level of a computer program? He can "run" while he's in the computer - talk, remember, reason - but without the computer, he can't do anything, can he? He's not independent. Can he be considered a character if he doesn't have an independent existence? If he can't do anything, in essence, can't be detected as existing outside the computer, is he not then just one dimension of that computer?

Does any character exist without a body? Or is it just the characters with bodies that make the most interesting characters - otherwise it's just all self-involved stream of consciousness drivel...

Small increments

I just spent five minutes waiting for the scanner to finish so that I could unplug the scanner cord and move the computer over 5 inches - yes, five! - so I could plug into the printer to print what I just scanned. Sheesh!

Just when you thought the world was going to hell in a handbasket...

...there comes a woman like this - amazing!

I know I would've been very, very tempted. My student loans are at least twice that right now, and the thought of not having to work till I'm 80 to pay them off would've tempted me bad... though I also have a fully functioning guilt complex, so I guess I wouldn't have kept it either.

Reading about that lady makes up for the penny-pinching jerks today at Old Navy - I hate Old Navy - why did I even go into the store? But I did. And I found something I actually liked (christmas shopping don't you know) so that forced me to actually locate a cash register at the front in order to pay for it... but, as is usually my luck, I end up behind someone who starts pulling everything BACK out of her bag, checking tags because she thinks the cashier is ripping her off.

So I go to the next line, 'cause I can see it's gonna take a while. Then the lady at the front of that line starts whining about how she can't use both of her discount cards on one purchase and insists on separating her items into two purchases... after they've already been rung in! Grrrrr. Geez lady, its Old Navy, whatcha gonna save $2? Tell you what, I'll buy you a latte and we'll call it even, k?

Bah humbug!

I hate New England

well, at least during weather like this - rain in winter - wtf is that all about anyway?

the worst isn't even the cold, or the fact that my house and car both leak when it rains... what sucks the most is this cheap-ass town doesn't have street lighting and I found myself stomping through puddles that I couldn't even see on the way home...

grrrrrrrrr

Boston and St. John's

Listening to GBS's "Boston and St. John's" and feeling homesick, even if I come from the other end of the country.

Hear it.

Boston and St. John’s
Released June 1999
(written by Doyle)

Girl, don’t tell me that it’s morning
Can we keep the curtains drawn
I haven’t given you fair warning
But our ship, she sails at dawn

Chorus
It’s true I must be going but I swear I won’t be long
There isn’t that much ocean between Boston and St. John’s
I’m a rover and I’m bound to sail away
I’m a rover can you love me anyway?

And if some suitor comes approaching
Will you let him through your door
And what if I return half broken
Will you still want me anymore?

Chorus

Bridge
Close your eyes and dream
Tell me what you see
Tell me what you want
Just tell me that you’ll wait for me

Chorus
From GBS site

Happy Holidays?

ack! I just realized there are only two more weekends till Christmas... and not only have I only bought 1 - one! - gift, but I also have to prepare for international travel right after the second weekend.

Oh, no, not so jolly a thought, this is... not so jolly at all!

Please don't get my hopes up for nothing

Please, please, please, don't get me excited and still not resolve the lockout. Please.
The NHLPA says it's ready to go back to the bargaining table - I'm almost afraid to watch....
If they talk and then it breaks down again anyway, it would be almost as bad as it was to watch the Flames lose the cup last year.