One of the most frustrating things I'm finding in this dissertation editing is the precariousness of my productivity. The littlest thing knocks me off my game into a struggle with frustration.
One day, I have a great writing day, work out part of an argument in what I can honestly say is a beautiful piece of writing, and feel confident that I will finish these revisions and they will be (mostly) acceptable and I will be able to look forward to the defence.
The next day, I flounder around, trying to get a handle on the ideas that seem too large for my head, and so they squeeze out of it, bouncing across the office floor and I have to scramble around trying to pick them back up. But they're slippery, and I can't seem to hold more than one at a time. Which I do. But even then, sometimes I pick one up, turning it this way and that, puzzled at what it means and why I thought it was a good idea in the first place. Sometimes I set it aside, hoping that it will become clearer as time goes on. Sometimes I toss it out the window.
This back and forth between confidence that I'm making satisfactory progress and despair at ever crafting an argument that makes sense is taking its toll.
Today, I'm distracted again. Thoughts of non-work-related troubles keep crowding in my brain, and no matter how hard I try, they break my concentration and I feel frustrated.
Here's hoping tomorrow's a more balanced day.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment