The difference a year can make

Remember when you were a kid, or even a teenager, and a year seemed like forever?

When you get older, it seems like the years blend into each other, which means that you don't realize how time is passing. Sometimes this means you try to do things you could 10 years ago and realize you no longer can. Sometimes it means that you look at nieces or nephews you haven't seen in a few years and try to match the image in your head with the stranger in front of you.

But a year can make a big difference.

Just a few days ago, I was in a minor panic because I had convinced myself I had not idea how to write a dissertation. All that feedback I got last month had caused me to worry that I didn't know what I was doing.

But today, I realized that although I might not know what I need to do, I'm getting closer.

I sat down today to take on the next task on my list - edit the very first chapter I wrote... over a year ago. After it was reviewed last year, I made some notes, but decided I needed to write the two chapters that precede it before editing. Now that I've finished those two chapters, I'm returning.

I still am not sure that I know what a dissertation should look like. But I do know it doesn't look what I wrote a year ago. A year ago, I was still writing what really boils down to a really, really long seminar paper. And I know now that kind of writing just won't do.

So maybe I have figured out something over the last year.

It might not be much in the grand scheme of life, but that year has made a big difference in how I see my work now. I suppose now is the time to end with some platitude about old dogs and new tricks...