Makes my problems seem really rather irrelevant

So, I've been reading about the bombing in London. I'm not really gonna blog about the politics of it, and I'm not going to second guess whether the group that claims to have done it did it.

The thing that impresses me the most about all the accounts I've been reading about it is the attitude of those who have been involved, either responding to the crisis, or living through it. Londoners' attitudes have been compared to those of the Blitz, and they seem to be rallying together in a way that I'm sure is reminiscent of that previous bombing. And as commentators (particularly the British papers) have noted, they've always had the IRA to deal with.

I still however find myself feeling very remote from it all - perhaps in part because I haven't taken transit in the last couple of days and probably won't have to till next week (mostly 'cause I'm not working till then and have no need to stir from the nest of misery that's my life right now).

But I think even then I will find my attitude to my commute unchanged. It's hard to get worked up about a bunch of weirdos in some far away country maybe deciding to attack the transit system I ride, and even then, maybe attacking on the day I'm on it, and maybe on the bus I'm on. You see the odds? Whereas I've been at a station when they stopped the trains because someone was shot, and I've been on a bus where a man grabbed a woman but ran away before the cops could show up, even though he continued to make threatening gestures at her (and I think more generally at the other women on the bus as well). So, yeah, it's hard to get anxious about it. I think there's a far greater chance of my senile neighbor leaving the stove on and burning us all to a crisp in the middle of the night than me getting blown up on a subway ride.

But perhaps now that I've said that, I'm bringing such a fate upon myself.

Is that too fatalistic? Perhaps it is a bit dark. But I guess I figure there's not much that I can do about the things that happen in life other than how I respond to them. How I respond personally to the events in London is not to fear for myself, but to feel empathy for those people who are there, for those people who were injured, and for those people who had someone they care about die. I know that there are many people in London (and beyond) for whom this is a personal matter, and for them, I feel sympathy and wish them strength and the compassion of those nearest them.

I also am concerned on a more general level about the purpose of the attack - terror-ism - it is the desire to terrify an enemy, and it is that ratcheting up a notch of the terror everyone in the world feels everytime an act of terrorism is committed that I worry about. It feeds into a bunker mentality. Not always right away, but later on it does, as people continue to worry about it. At first, everyone pulls together, but then once the crisis is over, suspicion sets in. It's not just of unattended packages though, it extends to anyone acting a little weird, or maybe looking angry, or "suspicious" in some other way. And the worst of it comes when people start to be suspicious of anyone who doesn't look like them, or conversely, who looks like a terrorist (whatever terrorists look like in your dreams). That's the thing that worries me the most about these kinds of terrorist attacks. They make the world a more dangerous place for me and my kids. When everyone starts to look over their shoulder, when we start eroding civil liberties in the name of security, when ordinary people start to mistrust their neighbors and the people they meet everyday, the world gets to be a little bit scarier.

It gets scarier because when you don't trust anyone, you start just looking out for yourself. Which is a good thing (it's something that it's SO hard to get teenagers to do, or at least my teenager). But because my teen has so little worry about her own safety, she may find herself in a situation where she needs the help of a stranger. And that stranger might be unwilling to help her because he/she has retreated from society, has let the terror and suspicion get to him/her. And then my daughter suffers. To hell with society suffering. I worry about her suffering. And THAT's what I worry about whenever terror is used against ordinary people - that the world is becoming less safe not just because of the terrorists, but because of what it does to us all.