In the past few weeks several parts of my life have come to the fore, each vying for importance and attention. In my darker moments, I think it's more like ALL, not SEVERAL parts!
This has meant I've been working almost non-stop for several weeks, over very long hours. But it's not the working that's getting to me. What's getting to me is the accompanying sense of anxiety that at any moment I will forget something critical and all those juggling balls will come tumbling down. Working long hours is tiring, but that's all it is. Working long hours with the constant suspicion that you're forgetting something even more important is anxiety-provoking.
I did forget to photocopy some materials and bring them to a class I was teaching. But since I always overprepare for classes, I had plenty of other things to do and will bring the photocopies (and the activity they're for) to the next class.
And I've been fairly good about continuing to exercise, so that helps keep me on track.
But then something happened earlier this week that scared me. And I know it happened as a result of this persistent juggling trick involving staying on top of everything at the same time.
I actually had a moment - just a moment mind you - when I pulled up at a red light and something along the lines of "what is that? red light. okay. wait. does red mean stop? yes. it means stop. green is go - red is stop. okay. gotta brake" went through my head.
Yikes!
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