Ohio bound

I'm heading off to Ohio for a wedding tomorrow. When I first heard of the wedding, I was very excited to hear the news... oddly, I found out about it in the exact same spot as I'd heard about another wedding two years before. Strange coincidence that.

I'm nervous about this wedding. I've been asked to play piano for it. When I first agreed, I thought I knew what I was getting myself into, but a lot of details have changed, and now I'm a little nervous about it. I'll be on a keyboard, not a piano, which I know will sound different - I'm just hoping it's one of those high quality boards that sounds pretty close.

I'm also playing two more songs than I originally thought, and accompanying a singer, which I've never done before, so I'm a bit nervous about the newness of that experience. We haven't practiced together yet - we'll get the chance the day before the wedding - so I'm just hoping we both are on the same page re: pacing etc. The singer sent me a copy of the music she's working from, so at least we don't have to worry about transposition or instrument differences with the music we're each working from.

I've also got a head cold. It actually feels a bit better today, but yesterday I was so fuzzy headed I was really butchering the songs as I was practicing. I'm going downstairs to practice now - I hope today's practicing goes better. I'm also really hoping the head cold clears for the wedding and flight. Both will be miserable affairs if it doesn't.

The law can be fun!

I considered law school briefly as an undergraduate, but didn't think I had what it takes to succeed. Apparently, it's not quite as difficult as I thought it was...

I usually don't read legal judgements, but this one (link to pdf) is just too funny. A couple of excerpts:

Before proceeding further, the Court notes that this case involves two extremely likable lawyers, who have together delivered some of the most amateurish pleadings ever to cross the hallowed causeway into Galveston, an effort which leads the Court to surmise but one plausible explanation. Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact--complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words--to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed.

After this remarkably long walk on a short legal pier, having received no useful guidance whatever from either party, the Court has endeavored, primarily based upon its affection for both counsel, but also out of its own sense of morbid curiosity, to resolve what it perceived to be the legal issue presented. Despite the waste of perfectly good crayon seen in both parties' briefing (and the inexplicable odor of wet dog emanating from such) the Court believes it has satisfactorily resolved this matter. Defendant's Motion for Summary Judgment is GRANTED.

Ouch! Despite the legalese, it's worth reading for passages like this.

I suppose if this professor thing doesn't work out, I could go into law instead... at least I'd have the sense to use markers and construction paper...

Back

I'm exhausted. I sit here trying to put together my thoughts, but the only one that keeps running through my head is "I'm exhausted" The trouble with going to Calgary is that we know enough people that anything short of a week means we're out all day... and most of the nights!

It's not even that there's that many people to see - just that there are too many to see them all in only a couple of days. I missed meeting up with one really good friend just because she was busy and we were busy and by the time we could've got together, I had no more time left. I'm very sorry I didn't get to talk to her. I really wish I had. But it didn't work out.

So I regret not seeing her, and sit here with a brain full of fuzzy cotton (sis, I'm thinking of your dream now too!) trying to think of something intelligent to say. Good thing teaching this morning was the same ol' same ol' otherwise I would've been lost.

Travelling so far, especially from one country to another always does amaze me though. As we rode home from the airport, I couldn't help but notice how different that ride felt from the one to the airport in Calgary. Even the air smells different here. I'm sure much of it is just my awareness that things are different, but each place still feels distinctly different.

But perhaps I should wait to blog something intelligent when I'm actually feeling more intelligent!

Barely blogging

This time tomorrow I'll be somewhere over... Montana, maybe? En route to Calgary, at any rate. Blogging will be even briefer than it has been lately. Too much life getting in the way.

We're checking out jobs, seeing old friends, and seeing oldest daughter in her new element, which I'm totally looking forward to! I know it's only been a couple of weeks, but it's been so weird to think she's living somewhere else, I haven't got my head wrapped round it yet. Hopefully we'll get to see everyone that we want to see, even if only briefly. One friend I haven't seen for the four years we've been gone. We've had virtual coffee... you know, where we're both drinking coffee while IM-ing, but it's not the same. So we'll have f2f coffee, which I'm really looking foward to.

But I guess I'll have to tell you all about it when I get back.

Huh?

There's something highly ironic about writing the following comment on a student paper discussing the importance of clear communication between medical professionals:

This is unclear here – is it the PTs who are using new procedures, or the doctors who are performing new procedures? You need to clarify who’s doing what here and who needs to communicate more clearly.

Ahh... Mr. Bulwer-Lytton's spirit strikes again

I love reading this list every year!

The winner is:

Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.
Jim Guigli
Carmichael, CA

I've got to admire the skill of the entrants... or perhaps some of these are genuine attempts at opening lines!? The annual Bulwer-Lytton contest provides some fabulous entries. The winner was typical of Bulwer-Lytton, but several of the runners-up and dishonorable mentions were more flexible with the form. I realized as I was reading through them that I needed to put down my coffee cup or risk shorting out my keyboard!

Some of my favorites?

"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' - and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' - well do you, punk?"
Stuart Vasepuru
Edinburgh, Scotland

Lisa moved like a cat, not the kind of cat that moves with a slinky grace but more like the kind that always falls off the book shelf when he's washing himself and then gets all mad at you like it's your fault (which it wasn't although it probably was kind of mean to laugh at him like that), although on the bright side, she hardly ever attacked Ricky's toes in his sleep.
Debra Allen
Wichita Falls, TX

Sex with Rachel after she turned fifty was like driving the last-place team on the last day of the Iditarod Dog Sled Race, the point no longer the ride but the finish, the difficulty not the speed but keeping all the parts moving in the right direction, not to mention all that irritating barking.
Dan Winters
Los Altos Hills, CA

It was just another day at the office aboard "StarCruise" until David spotted a tiny speck in his passenger window, approaching from the direction of the Masai Nebula and making a right angle with bisector of the isosceles formed if you joined Bendy's Star, Planet Anet, and White Hole 14437-5A, but sighed peacefully as it turned out to be the reflection of the fluorescent light swinging loose above Captain Mudlove's head.
Talha bin Hamid
Karachi, Pakistan

The goose waddled slowly, heavily, across the road, exactly the way my mother-in-law would if she were a goose.
Mary Montiel
Wichita, KS

Twas brillig, and the toves were not just slithy, they were stinking drunk.
Richard A. Polunsky
Houston TX

Her romance ended, not a quick separation but like the gradually fading white dot on one of those old black-and-white vacuum tube TVs when it's turned off; and she was glad, because she felt uneasy in his arms and required as many adjustments to the "horizontal hold" and "vertical hold" as when she would stay up late watching scary shows like "Twilight Zone" and "Outer Limits" long ago.
Charles Wells
Albuquereque, NM

I saw her from across the room and knew I had to meet her, not because of her ample bosom, or her full lips, or her beautiful creamy skin, or the way her hair was twisted into a nice tight bun, or the buttoned-up blouse that begged to be torn off her body, or the skirt that was perhaps a size too small, but because she was my kid's teacher and I was here for the parent-teacher conference.
Lori Yates
Kezier, OR

I don't know what's worse, the packing or the moving

We still don't know for sure where we'll be in a month. All I know is that we'll be somewhere else, so it all has to get packed. Packing is always a longer, more tiring, and dirtier job than you ever think it will be when you start. It's not like I move my bookshelves every few months to clean behind them... they sure can accumulate dust bunnies back there, that's for sure!

Keeping a sense of humor helps - over the dozens of times I've moved, I can vouch for everyone one of these:

Murphy's Laws of Moving
By: Sheila Moss

1. No matter how many boxes you have, you will never have enough.

2. The more your friends promise to help, the more likely it is they will be deathly ill or out of town the weekend you are moving.

3. Whatever it is that you need, it is always in the bottom of a box that has already been taped shut.

4. Now that you are moving and no longer need it, you will always find something you have been looking for for years.

5. The tape, the scissors, the markers and the screwdriver all know how to play hide ‘n’ seek.

6. The thing that gets broken will always be an irreplaceable antique heirloom - never something cheap that you didn't like anyway.

7. Regardless of long the drought has been going on, it will always rain on moving day.

8. You will always lose your checkbook, your car keys, the remote control or the telephone.

9. If you stay up all night packing to be ready for the movers, they will be late.

10. No matter how large the new place is, it will shrink before you move in.

Trivia(l) movies

Who would've known?

Apparently, a group of Northeastern students made a pretty good movie. At least, Campus MovieFest seems to think it was a great idea. Apparently,

A film created by five students from Northeastern University for Campus MovieFest, the world's largest student film festival, was selected as one of sixteen films to air at the International Grand Finale at the Atlanta Film Festival.

The movie, called Tangent, is actually kinda interesting. Some of the aesthetic choices seem a bit cliched, but it is kinda neat to recognize local places (I swear I've parked in that exact same parking spot as the one featured in the parking garage scene!)

Speaking of interesting movies, I also watched The Calcium Kid today. I was surprised during channel surfing to see Orlando Bloom in it, and assumed it was an early film of his. But then I recognized Rafe Spall (from Shaun of the Dead, of course, I recognized him!) and later Billie Piper from Dr. Who, and went to check the credits. 2004. After LOTR. I must say, it was an interesting choice for Bloom, and a role he performed fairly well, given the slightly shallow nature of the script.

It's a mockumentary. If the title reminds you of The Karate Kid, it should. And they shamelessly riff on Rocky. But it was time well spent. Might even be worth throwing on your Netflix or Blockbuster account... not too high mind you, but it was an amusing way to spend a couple of hours. Perhaps you too will be amused.

No name post

My creativity has ebbed with my energy, thus no post title... the post itself might not be much better...

Oldest daughter should be arriving at her destination soon. We woke at 3:30 am to get her to the airport on time. She actually had three friends show up to accompany her in the limo - yes, she had a gift certificate for a free limo ride to the airport. They gave them to all the students who were leaving to go to school - how nice! First time I've ever been in a limo. Very nice. I could get used to it. Then again, my parents always did tell me I had expensive tastes... I've just never had the budget to indulge them!

Firecracker fiends were setting off squealers and poppers till long after midnight though. Very little sleep = lack of creativity.

I did cry. But just a little. She did too. Even while she was telling me not to. It's kinda nice to know she'll miss me at the same time as I'm missing her.

I also discovered that it is only the Dunkin Donuts near my school that are open at 6 am - ugh!

My students got what little energy I had this morning, which is reassuring, because if I had to teach at this moment, I'd have nothing.

I just missed a lucrative summer job offer by ten minutes. If I'd gotten home ten minutes earlier, I could have at least considered whether or not to take it. As is, the point is moot - the position is filled now. Too bad. I would've liked the choice.

What little energy still remained this afternoon was used up emailing my landlord and telling her that "no, I am not willing to move half my household items to a storage facility for a month, then go and pick them up again, just so that the house looks larger without so much furniture in it" sheesh! I know she wants to sell the place as soon as possible after we leave, but it's still my living space in the meantime.

Less than 24 hours

Less than a day till oldest daughter will be living in another country.

WOW.

I'm experiencing several emotions, anxiety/sadness/stress, but I don't think it's really sunk in yet. I haven't had much time to really sit back and think about it because I've been busy harassing her to finish packing up all her stuff before she goes. She's taking two HUGE suitcases! (I hope our bathroom scale is accurate because they're almost at the weight limit) The rest we'll ship to her wherever she'll be in fall... *sigh* that sounds sooo familiar!

I'm sure tomorrow will feel different. Right now, I'm just hoping I'm awake enough to accompany her to the airport at 4 am. I'm not much of a morning person...

I'm a big believer in prevention

When I worked loss prevention, we stressed methods of preventing shoplifting rather than detecting it... mostly by making shoppers aware that someone was watching.

When it comes to students and plagiarism, if Turnitin makes them aware someone's watching and reduces the temptation to cheat, I'm all for it too.

Overall, I'm satisfied with the software and plan to continue to use it. It does give quite a few false positives, but a teacher with half a brain can figure out that those aren't plagiarism. When it discovers that my student wrote "Langston Hughes wrote 'A Negro Speaks of Rivers' in 1921..." and a student at a high school in Ohio wrote the exact same sentence, I know enough to realize this is coincidence. It's not exactly great writing, but it's functional and there aren't many other ways of saying the same thing.

I also selected the option to ignore quoted material, since that just identified all the quotes in the paper. I really didn't need it to do that for me.

Now my students papers are part of that huge database of papers they run all the new submissions against. I wonder what they'll make of the student who submitted a paper that started out talking about Frost but ended with a narrative of how the speaker met the love of his life in an Outback Steakhouse restaurant? It's a hoot! It almost rivals "Don't be Panic"... which is still in my mind the best student paper ever! When I get depressed about what my students are doing, all I do is play the video and it makes me feel so much better! (thanks to rlt for the reminder)

The "doctor" and the doctor

I can't help but be amused that Kevin Warwick at University of Reading has created a robotic dalek... I giggle.

Warwick is the guy who implanted a chip into his forearm in an effort to begin developing real world applications of cybernetic implants. The most unusual thing I've read that he has suggested is the possibility of implants in different people communicating with each other. Apparently his wife has volunteered to have herself implanted as well and they're going to try to communicate through the implants via computer. It all sounds very interesting. I wonder if he'll be talking about it when he visits MIT in September? If I'm here and can scrape together the registration fee, it certainly would be interesting to hear him speak about it!

Smell o vision?

According to this article at New Scientist, a group of researchers in Tokyo have developed a odour recorder capable of recording scents and reproducing them when required. I don't know what all you'd use it for, but it sounds pretty cool!

If I had one of those, I could attach the smell of a maple leaf.. or maybe beer... or just a good old barbeque... in celebration of a Happy Canada Day!