The Black Box revealed!

How your computer works (watch out, the sound is a bit loud) The interconnected pieces actually remind me of a computer game we had ages ago where you had to put all these different pieces together in the right order to accomplish a task. I remember it being a lot harder than it looked...

The circularity of time

This time last year, I was blogging a storm: four entries in one day - probably a record. First I expressed my delight in having returned home, even though PCA was a great conference, and lamented the difference in climate between Southern California and New England. Then I talked about the conference experience, then I talked about more of it, and even more of it!

I ended the post saying that I needed to find a way of getting to next year's conference - which I have - but it's a little later this year. So a year later, I am frantically trying to put together the conference paper. It's not that I don't have material, it's that I have too much material, and I need to select which parts to shape into a conference paper that I'll present orally instead of writing for publication (or at least a reading audience).

This year the conference is in Atlanta, Georgia - a place I've never been, though we did drive through Georgia on the way to Florida at Christmas. I'm booked into the hostel again - I can't afford the prices at the kinds of hotels these things are held at - and I'm hoping it won't be in a club district again. Google Earth reveals a pretty quiet looking neighborhood about a kilometer from the conference site, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I'm really looking forward to it - there are some great papers listed - some names of people who I'm looking forward to meeting with again - and I get to see a city I've never been to before (even if it is just the downtown area, it's gotta be better than Indianapolis).

Dissertating is fun!

Well, at least there are some fun parts to it. Working in an area that not only includes contemporary fiction, but a cultural studies approach to it means that the kind of stuff that goes on around me every day - the news, tv shows, ads, blog topics, you name it - often has direct relevance to the topic I'm pursuing.

For instance, earlier this week, while driving home I was listening to a song I've heard many times before. But this time, when I got home, I immediately looked up the lyrics for it, and wrote them down, because they'd make a great epigraph for a chapter. I'd heard those lyrics many times before, but with my mind on computer-enhanced human beings, they took on a new resonance.

I like this getting psyched about what I'm working on! I know it will get old after a while, but right now, it's pretty cool!

so what's up with me?

Thanks for asking!

There's not much blog-worthy going on. Lot's of reading too little time. I'm slowly crossing things off the list, but still worried I won't get all of them done by deadlines.

Having said that, I'm at the point where there are so many things going on, I'm having difficulty choosing which one to work on first, and when I start working on one thing, I have this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me I should be worrying about something else.

Reading today has been especially annoying since they're doing major renovations next door... which they started at 7:30! that's half past seven IN THE A.M.! I'm all for the early bird getting the worm, but you put Michele in an awful nasty mood when you start power drilling next to her head at that hour of the morning... grrrr.

I'm trying to console myself with two facts: 1) the house next door is as small as mine, so there is a finite amount of work that can be done in it, which means it should be over soon, and 2) the house on the other side had its renovations last year, so once these guys are done, I should be guaranteed to have some peace... just in time to leave windows open overnight and hear the lawn guys at the crack of dawn...

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the rest of the day.

What part of "leave a message" didn't you understand?

I played the oddest message on my cell phone yesterday. It was left by a child - which isn't odd - but it wasn't my child, and it was left in Spanish. This child mumbled a bit, as many children do on the phone, and my Spanish is a bit elementary, but he or she seemed to be asking mom if they could go to a friend's house.

Now what part of "Please leave a message" in English spoken by someone clearly not YOUR mother, did you miss?

Odd.

Students and violence... not what you think

Those students are burying me in their papers... all I can hope is that I will soon finish responding to all of them.

In the meantime, go see V for Vendetta.

I planned to see this movie as soon as it came out, and I was even more impressed with it than I expected. If you're staying away because of the R-rating, don't. There's almost no sex and while there's violence, most of it is stylized with little blood. But some of the ideas might be incendiary if exposed to someone in the right frame of mind.

Oh, and A History of Violence - now on DVD - was also excellent. Interesting to watch both movies within a few days of each other. Each question what role violence plays in our society and come to different, but equally thought provoking conclusions. Perhaps I'll blog further about it once I crawl out from under the weight of all thse papers.

Which one is it?

The term is restarting after the spring break, and I find myself pondering what kind of a teacher I am, and whether I need to change or not.

I look at my marking book and see that two students have not handed in the assignment that was due before the beginning of the break. I sent both emails telling them I haven't received them, but still haven't heard back. One student has been struggling, and the week before the break, we worked out a schedule that would get him caught up. He agreed to it, but hasn't done it. The other one, who knows?

The question that is running around my head is how involved in all this should I be? Part of me says to leave it - they're adults - I'm not their mother, I'm their teacher etc. But another part of me hears what other people are saying, about caring about their students as people, they're not just numbers etc. and I wonder whether I should be more involved.

These are upperclassmen - not freshmen - so my inclination is to teach, not to nurture. If they've made it this far, they should be able to get their act together. The freshmen - yes, I treat a bit differently, especially in the fall term, because they're still adjusting to the change from high school to university. That I understand, and the adjustment is rough even if you're not 18.

My natural inclination with university students is to say, "You're adults. Start acting like one", spell out my expectations, be helpful when they come to me for help, provide a high quality classroom experience, and let them take responsibility for whether they pass or fail.

I also don't tell my students much about myself - I tell them in the first class that I'm a TA and a student like them, but after that, I'm their teacher, and that's all I am.

Part of this philosophy probably stems from my own experience as an undergrad. I would NEVER have thought of talking to a prof about a personal problem, and I NEVER asked for an extension on an assignment (I saved doing that for the first time in my doctoral program!). I figured that since I got a syllabus at the beginning of the term, there was plenty of time to plan out my time and no excuse for not being ready for a deadline. And my professors never expressed the slightest interest in knowing about my personal life. They didn't tell me about theirs and I didn't tell them about mine. Seemed right to me that that was just the way it worked.

But I was also 28 with three kids at home when I entered university, so I was used to having to take responsibility for my own life. It feels natural to me to respect my students as adults by leaving them to organize their own lives and just concentrate on sharing what I know the most about - the subject matter of the course - but I wonder whether this is enough. Mostly, I wonder if there are expectations out there in academia that I be more for my students than an expert in my field.

On an interesting side note, the results of this modified Meyers-Briggs scale don't seem to jive with my teaching philosophy... which of course makes me wonder why.

Your #1 Match: ISFJ

The Nurturer You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal. A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways. In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music. You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for. You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

Your #2 Match: ESFJ

The Caregiver You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first. A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change. You love being in groups - whether you're helping people or working on a project. You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people. You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher.

Introducing...

...the third worst poet in the Galaxy!

Check out yawp (tales from my so-cubed life) and newest addition to the blogroll. The third worst poet is not a Vogon, and hardly deserves the title "third worst" but the blog is amusing and well written - especially the haikus - I on the other hand, could never get the hang of haikus...

You'll especially want to check out a familiar/unfamiliar TV theme song linked to this post.

Old, but Good

If you've heard Abbott and Costello's "Who's On First?" routine, you might enjoy an updated version of that confusion (listen to the original)

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START".......

What was on the radio...?

On the day I was born: "I'm a Believer" by The Monkees
setting me up for an optimistic streak?
The day I graduated high school: "There'll Be Sad Songs (to Make You Cry)" by Billy Ocean
the old "first day of the rest of your life"?
First marriage: "Invisible Touch" by Genesis
Oldest daughter born: "One More Try" by George Michael
"just one more push..."
Middle daughter born: "When I See You Smile" by Bad English
Youngest daughter born: "End of the Road" by Boyz II Men
three's enough!
The day my ex and I decided to separate: "I Knew I Loved You" by Savage Garden
emphasis on the past tense I guess
The day I got married: "Hot in Herre" by Nelly
ooh yeah!

Find out the top song on your dates

Movie notes

Usually, if I'm still thinking about a movie the next day, it's because it had a strong effect on me - emotionally or intellectually - but in the case of this movie, I'm still thinking about it because I haven't yet figured it out.


I don't generally read a lot of reviews before going to see movies - I prefer to view them without the filter of someone else's opinions. But in this case, perhaps I'd feel less confused about the story if I had gone into the theatre knowing a bit more about it. The more I think about it, the less confused I get, but in the theatre, I found myself sometimes struggling to follow character motivations.

Part of what was most distracting was the stylistics of the movie - as you can see in the photo, this is not a realistic setting or world. A voiceover before the credits, after them, and at the end of the movie repeats the message "this is not a world you would recognize" which of course begs the question of just what is the relationship between that narrative voice and the audience? A question that is never satisfactorily answered - sometimes it seems we are looking at a future world, sometimes an alternate universe. Sometimes even, it seems the world we are allowed a glimpse of belongs to a different kind of universe - a comic book universe, for example - which is the only explanation that also accounts for the episodic nature of the fight scenes and their emphasis on looks over a sense that the character is at risk of losing the fight. The movie is "anti-Kill Bill", as one intelligent person described it.

A thoroughly different take on vampires is Lifeforce, based on the novel Space Vampires, which pretty much says it all. It's also rather bloodless, like Ultraviolet but in this case, it's because the space vampires don't survive on blood, but on life energy, which leaves their victims looking like mummies until they manage to steal away someone else's life energy and so on. It's a cheesy, but fun movie, with some bad acting and bad sets, but a convolutedly fun sense of its own marginal position between horror and space opera.

Now, a horror movie that took itself a bit more seriously, and mostly convinced me of its sincerity as a horror movie was Creep. I do have a soft spot for stories that take place in the London Underground, so that kept me going through some of the rougher spots. There was one scene that was really implausible, and the main character sometimes had very little sense, though at other times, she showed a great deal of foresight - she was inconsistent, but you're set up to think her so when she teases a fellow partygoer, then blows him off for the chance to meet George Clooney. Franka Potente does a lot of running in this movie too, in fact, I think I've only ever really seen her act like a runner. The director, in commentary said that he tried to make the audience feel sorry for the 'creep' of the title, though I never really felt much sorrow for him - he was a pitiable character, but I did think he got what was coming to him, whether he was aware that what he was doing was wrong or not. Even though it failed in a few places, it was the kind of movie that stayed with me for a day, and not in the bad I-can't-figure-it-out way that Ultraviolet did, but in a interesting-how-they-did-that kind of way.

Thin... I wish!

I just came to the realization the other day that I have committed myself to producing three pieces of academic writing by the middle of April. That's only five weeks away! Eek! I committed to two of them several months ago, but the third I committed to this week without thinking about the timing of the other two. I've done this before, but not quite this badly - it will be difficult to get all this done (I do still have to teach during this time... oh, and my taxes will be due before then, won't they?)

When I saw this article: Academic AWOL it struck a chord because I've done the same thing - in committing myself to these three projects that will be difficult to complete in the given time frame, I'm running the risk of being on an academic AWOL. I'll either have to reschedule one of them, or I'll discover that I'm smarter than I think I am by getting them done in time. I kinda hope it's the latter - it would be nice to discover I'm more capable than I think!

Note to self: stop saying yes!

Right now though, it was one of the comments about marking that caught my attention today. Mostly because I'm wading through a huge pile of marking. This term, the students seem to be worse than I've ever had before. I don't think it's necessarily a trend to poorer students but just the luck of the draw that I got two classes with a high proportion of poor or underprepared writers. They aren't bad enough to have to be in some kind of remedial class - not that we have those for this course - but so many of them have absolutely no idea how to incorporate material from other sources, the conventions of academic writing, or even what some very simple everyday words mean!

The comment that caught my attention was about how to avoid procrastinating marking. I know I procrastinate because it's painful and monotonous. It's painful to see how poorly prepared for writing some of my students are, how difficult it is for some of them to follow instructions (really, in this course, if you follow the instructions there's no way you can get lower than a B, yet students fail it all the time!). It's monotonous to tell student after student the same thing... especially if I've already said it in class!

If anyone out there does have a method for making marking easy, please let me know. Otherwise, I'll just have to keep procrastinating about it...

Once bitten, twice shy

Oh, do I know the agony this woman was going through! The woman, a master's student, stored her thesis on a jump drive but hadn't backed it up anywhere else and a thief stole her purse where she was keeping the drive. She got it back by asking herself what the thief would've done and scrounging through a dumpster until she found it.

I know her agony. I've had entire pieces of work disappear on me - from the last two hours of typing because I haven't hit 'save' and the computer crashes, to losing an entire paper revision in undergrad (at 2 am, of course!) I've gotten smart since then, maybe even a bit obsessive. Although I don't like taking the time to back stuff up, I do it at least every couple of months or less, depending on how much work I'm producing at the time. I've even worried about a fire and keep an older set of backups elsewhere so that I can recuperate the majority of my work in case my computer goes up in smoke.

I am thinking of getting one of those jump drives, or 'thumbs' though for the dissertation stage, so that I can put everything in one place and have access to my notes etc. anywhere that I go. They do look awful handy, and they're not too expensive. I suppose there is a danger of losing it, but if I've backed up on the hard drive as well, it should be minimal I would think. The idea is growing on me, that's for sure.

The canon strikes again

"You need to find a white guy" my supervisor said to me, during our meeting today. No, she wasn't giving me dating advice. She did mean 'guy' in the 'you guys' kind of way that applies to humans, you know, the way 'mankind' refers to all 'womankind' too. (When addressing my daughters I frequently say 'you guys need to clean your rooms' or similar things. I did have a non-English speaker question why I referred to my female children by a term she identified as male however) I did get my supervisor's drift though... and since we talked about white women too, she wasn't being sexist.

We were talking about which novels and novelists I would be talking about in my dissertation, and the 'you need a white guy' was a nod toward the concession that if you want to talk about contemporary British fiction, you can't just talk about fiction by postcolonial writers. You have to talk about some of those white 'guys' like Amis or Swift, or Barnes, or Byatt. It's a very good point. If I don't talk about at least one of those authors, a hiring committee might not recognize my expertise in the contemporary British novel. I want hiring committees to think I'm smart, so I need to go find a white guy for my dissertation.