They say you can't go home again, and my experience moving back to Canada would confirm that. It's not quite the same as it was before you left... because you're not the same person, obviously, but it does surprise me how many people expect things to be the same. Moving back, I remember locations, routes, what places have good coffee, what streets to avoid, and such, but my interaction with those spaces is different than it was before I left.
Actually, I found myself when we first got back thinking about the more distant past, about 20 years ago when I first arrived in the city, rather than my life just before I left it 4 years ago. I'm not sure why, but I can only assume that the re-arrival two months ago triggered a lot of memories of that first arrival.
And now I'm finding that coming back to Boston, even only two months after leaving, feels very different. I suppose most of it has to do with not having a routine to follow, or the knowledge that I'm just visiting, but even it and the school feel like different places. I also realize that my half of any conversation will feel different than the other half. As I'm talking, I'm thinking about how weird it feels to be back, but at the same time, with some people who I never did talk to on a weekly basis, I realize that for them, nothing may feel different. What seems huge to me - that I'm no longer living here - is irrelevant for them. And that's a very strange feeling.
So I guess I'm figuring out that not only you can't go home again, but you also can't go away again, without it being different.
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