Since I feel as if I'm inhabiting my own private hell anyway, I thought I might try my luck at the real one....

Level 6: You approach Satan's wretched city where you behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

I think I'll stick with the comps!

2 days and counting...tomorrow doesn't really count since I have my own class to teach, office hours and a 3 hour seminar - there won't be much study time available that day, so essentially, today's the last big day of studying....

The positive part is that I can see myself getting through everything I planned to study. That still doesn't address the worry that I'm studying the wrong things, but I've gotten good advice from previous test-takers and we've been sharing information between those of us who are taking it this year as to what resources we find that are useful in preparing. But the exam really demonstrates how different each of us is and our different approaches, not only in the way we study (I go running for study breaks while another colleague plays video games) but also in our approach to the material.

I've really enjoyed the study periods that we've had as a group and it saddens me that the kind of collaborative work that we are doing in preparing for this test is rare in the profession of my choice. Teaching and academic research (particularly in the Humanities) is a very solitary endeavour. You're the only one in front of the classroom, and you're usually the only one researching and writing papers, books, lectures, etc. Of course there are collaborations, you see those kinds of edited texts all the time, but the collaboration is usually with someone who also specializes in your field, which means he/she is not going to be in your department, but likely will work halfway across the continent, or even the world! Post-colonial studies in particular is broadly spread across countries.

That sense of teamwork is something that I'm sure I'll miss. The plus end I suppose is that you don't have to work with someone you don't like, but for the most part, I get along pretty well with people who I've worked with, and the people in my life who I've felt the most dislike for are those not necessarily who disagree with me, but who are dogmatic about their beliefs, perspective, or stance and cannot accept that they do not possess the god-given truth. In our post-industrial, postmodern, transnational, transitional world how can anyone make a claim that they possess any kind of truth?

The belief in one over-arching truth requires not only something that is large enough to encompass all experience, but that something also needs to be real and flexible enough to enact an actual effect in the world. If you're going to believe in something, shouldn't it at least be something that has some utilitarian relevance in the world? Shouldn't it be something that can actually DO something in the world we inhabit? In the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, after the revelations of the renaissance, enlightenment, reformation etc. of the previous centuries, several things were posited as substitutions for the church as absolute truth. In a nostalgic turn to the classical world, people like Ruskin posited beauty as a universal truth. Humanism of course was an excellent candidate as well, and even history itself was tested as a way of understanding 'truth' in the world. Science made it big for a long time, holding sway well into the twentieth century, though the development of the nuclear age put an end to its supremacy as truth (however, I worked with a colleague who still ardently held the belief that science would save humanity from its ills).

So we float without an anchor...and for some people that's frightening. For others, the freedom that arises out of their liberation from the constraints of a universal truth is the sweetest freedom of all.

There are of course counter arguments, but that's my rant for the day. Adieu.

Just realized my blogsite thinks I'm on the west coast so I says I post three hours before I do...makes my posting on Sunday look anachronistic.

I wonder if I could use this to my advantage....

My students are feeling just as stressed as I am....and it wasn't hard for them to convince me that they would benefit more from attending a physics review during our meeting time today than coming to our class, so, at least I've salvaged a couple of hours extra for exam prep. Ah....the power of being the teacher...actually kinda pathetic that cancelling class is one of the empowering aspects of teaching....

I'm starting to rapidly reach that dangerous point where you are so fed up with studying, so confused about whether you're studying the right stuff, and so disheartened that I'm ready to just say f*** it - what I know, I know, and what I don't won't kill me - and then go get a drink and sit in the summer-like sunshine that we're enjoying (79/26 outside today with brilliant sunshine).

But, I didn't get to be where I am by giving up, so I return to the books, albeit reluctantly.

Look for more positive and intelligent posts post-test on Friday.

Five days...

I've hit that 2 pm slump that is only slightly less pronounced than the 2 am slump...my circadian rhythm is at it's lowest and I just realized that I read the same paragraph three times and I still don't think I understand it! It was theory, but it wasn't Derrida!

Starting to get that sickening feeling in my stomach....

Six days and counting....

My brain is feeling overstuffed right now and I'm starting to develop that panic that all the things I've read so far will just stay stuck in my brain when it comes time for the test. Not to mention the things I still feel as if I have to stuff into there yet. And I've still got a few student papers to mark that I've been putting off for most of the week, but they really need to get finished by Monday.

I haven't had any nightmares about the test yet, not like some of my colleagues...though I did have an odd dream about getting my wallet stolen (actually not the wallet, just everything inside it - I opened it up and all those little slots for your atm, credit cards, license etc. were empty) and another in which it took all class period just to take attendance because the students were all moving around looking for chairs to sit on, and I could not remember any of their names even though I recognized their faces. And I kept wandering around finding more students and having to ask them their names. Very odd....probably expressing some kind of fear about forgetting everything for the test and getting booted out of the program - then I wouldn't be teaching anymore either.

Part of me doubts that everything I'm doing to prepare is even going to be worthwhile or useful. After all, it's a comprehensive exam, and it's supposed to test my general knowledge of English literature. But it's not a general test like the GRE because the questions aren't that general. We're told on the one hand that the best way to study for the test is to re-read your class notes for the last year. But on the other hand, we're also told that the questions won't be class specific.

If that sounds as contradictory to you as it does to me, maybe e-mail me or something (click on Michele in the side bar), 'cause otherwise I'm gonna think I'm going batty. I mean, I realize what the difference is between the two, but it doesn't make it any easier to study. It means you have to constantly try to maintain this balance between the global and the specific - you need enough details to be able to write about the specifics of a particular genre, period, or theory, but you also can't lose yourself in those specifics while studying 'cause there's so many of them that you can't realistically cover every base.

You know, in actuality, everything that I will need to do for this test, I pretty much know already - at this point, it's just trying to refresh my memory and to integrate things that I've learnt at different times and in different places together into a cohesive schema.

But I've been in school for 8 years! That's a lot of integrating!

Well, enough retrospection...back to the books...

This week has definitely slid, and not just because I'm getting more and more worried about the comps test...though that plays a big role in my life right now.

I started the week by being accosted (pleasantly) by one of the other graduate students in the department who was practically vibrating, she was so excited, and who very excitedly told me her boyfriend had proposed on the weekend! Of course, she said yes and then told him he had really bad timing since the excitement was going to make it difficult for her to also study for the comps. I was, and still am, so happy for her - she's very excited and they make a really neat couple. And on Monday I had arrived a little worn out from the weekend, went to a meeting in which I felt really awkward and out of my league, so to hear this news was fabulous - it picked me up, and it's always cool when a friend has happy news!

But then yesterday (which is the end of my week during this term since I don't have to be on campus most Fridays), another classmate announced to us that she's transferring back home at the end of the term. Which of course is very sad since I'll miss her. To explain, there are only 4 people in my year of the PhD program...usually there's only about 4 every year...so, with the hangers on (who take 7 years to do the PhD 'cause they're doing other things with their lives as well) there are only a couple dozen doctoral students, and I only see about a dozen on a regular basis. So now, in my year, there's only 3 of us. That's a far cry from the 100 or so students in Dwayne's class and you get to know everyone pretty well 'cause they're in the same courses as you....and they write the comps at the same time!

I know it's a good move for her and her husband, but just thinking of myself, I'll be sorry to see her gone.

And now we're only three....I hope there's no more attrition!

Had a summer job interview this afternoon. Went okay - a good sign was when we were discussing the position and one of the interviewers suggested that I might be considered for another (better) position as well.

Mind you, that can be a plus and a minus. I have interviewed people for a position before and suggested another position that they hadn't applied for, but I know when I did it, it was usually because the person was not ideally suited for the original position, but I was impressed with them and wanted them as part of our organization. Sometimes it worked out that we'd hire them for another position, sometimes it didn't. Hopefully I'm in the former category 'cause the alternate position is more responsibility, more interesting, and (I'm not sure, but hopefully) more money. The more interesting is bonus enough, and the experience wouldn't hurt on my cv.

Frankly, I wasn't really enthused about the interview when I went because I wasn't sure exactly what the job was about. And sure, there are some parts that I probably won't like, but those are the ones that will challenge me to try something new, so I guess I think it would be an okay summer job - the money's okay, and it's only for six weeks, so I'd still have a little time to myself as well. I still ideally would like to teach at Northeastern, but they don't have enough classes to go around, and since I'm at the bottom of the heap, the trickle down will likely dry up before it reaches me.

So...now it's all up to fate - my name's out there for everything I can possibly find - we'll just have to see what shows up.

Man! Leaving things up to fate is hard for a control-freak like me!

I've been trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up! I arrived here with a certain plan in mind, but I've had to do some revision to that plan - some of it pretty radical, and now I'm wondering if I'm making the right choice. So, it's career planning all over again - actually, it would probably be more accurate to describe it as career positioning...because as much as it is important to me to like what I'm doing, I also need to be able to get a job at some point!

I had intended to pursue a specialization in medieval literature, but was strongly advised by my supervisor to abandon that plan for a specialty in contemporary British literature. That kind of specialization works well with many of my other interests (fantasy & sf e.g. Rowlings, Adams, Tolkein, Lewis, Gaiman) as well as film. The problem comes when I want to market myself. I'd like ideally to be able to move almost anywhere to maximize my options, but there are distinct differences in focus and specialization between the U.S. and other English speaking Commonwealth countries. A specialization in British literature is viewed differently in the British commonwealth than in a country that divides its discussions of English literature almost evenly between American and British lit - back home, British lit, even if limited to contemporary lit, is still a really, really broad specialization. And in English departments, you have to be able to fit into a funding category, since there is no such thing as a generalist.

The problem is, the more I think about it, the more I'd like to follow the contemporary British lit line, but I might limit my possibilities if I do that. But to follow the medieval line, I would need to do a LOT of extra work, and then find a project that could capture my attention long enough to spend three solid years of intense work on it.

So...I face a quandary. I do have a year to figure it out, so I'm not losing any sleep, but it's certainly been an upset to what my original plan was.

Have I mentioned yet how difficult it is to motivate myself to comment on student papers?

If it isn't the knowledge that most of the students will not actually read the comments, it's the problem of trying to explain to a student why their essay is just bland - maybe grammatically correct, but frankly, quite boring. I like tutoring and consulting with students who are interested in getting responses, but sometimes, trying to suggest ways for a student to improve a mediocre paper is just taxing - I have enough problems trying to figure out how to make my own papers interesting, let alone theirs.

What I wouldn't give for a vacation right now!

Dull day. It's hard to feel productive when you're day is split up into these little, disparate bits of life that need to be dealt with. It's already 2:30 in the afternoon and I feel as if I haven't actually accomplished anything today - I know I've been running around, but...still nada. And now I have to go teach and then run to my own class, then take the bus home (if it's running again - I had to re-route this morning to get to school because it's Marathon Monday), help finish fixing the car if necessary, and then I might finally get started on some work at 8.

There are choice words for this kind of day - I'm trying to be polite in not using them.

Is it just that we attend to things so selectively, or is there really coincidence in the world? Have you ever noticed how when you start thinking about something, it seems to pop up everywhere? Like when you've just learned you're pregnant and suddenly there are pregnant women everywhere...of maybe you're trying to get pregnant, just got your period and there are pregnant women everywhere?

Okay, maybe not a good example...but the freaky overlap of my friend's post and my student's discussion last week was certainly eerie. And okay, I will admit that talking about war at this time is not coincidence....but this is....

Schadenfreude. It's a German word that doesn't translate well into English, but I heard it explained as the delight someone feels in seeing another person fail. This is the first reference to it I had ever heard - that was three days ago - and now I run across it on a website discussing popular culture. Is that coincidence? Seems to me it is. I don't think there's a distinction made between the (understandable) joy at seeing an enemy fail and the more insidiously human-nature kind of delight at seeing a friend fail. As if there's only a limited amount of success in the world, and if too many other people get it, there's none left for you.

It's an interesting word, but the fact that I've never heard it before in my life, and now suddenly, I hear/read it twice in one week is certainly unusual. Is it coincidence, or is the cosmos trying to tell me something? Hmmm....

I'm getting so filled up with reading I wonder where it all goes....maybe at some point, I'll just overflow and it will all come spilling out again...yeah, maybe that would be good - it might relieve some of the pressure in my head!

words, words, words, words....I just keep shovelling more and more in, but they don't seem to connect to anything inside my head, like they're all just floating around in there...swimming in some big soupy mess - I wonder if I keep shoving words in without getting rid of some of them, without writing some of them back out, if they'll just start leaking out on their own...big messes of words running out of my nose and ears, and running out of my eyes and down my cheeks, splotches of black ink that will run and run like cheap mascara.

I once had a nosebleed that was so violent that the blood started coming out my eye sockets - not a word of a lie - freaked the hell out of me, that's for sure. Kinda freaky to envision words doing the same thing...kind of like a *blat* and they all come pouring and pouring out.

Didn't think this studying thing could be that dangerous.

Words, words, words, words,...you know, I used to love words, their uses, their idiosyncrasies, their exactness at times and their ambiguity at others...but I think this PhD is breeding that love out of me...turning it into a love/hate kind of relationship.

Can't live with them, can't live without them.

Ahhhh ...April is tax month - what joys!

And this year, it's double the fun with two sets of income tax to fill out - yippee! Not that the American one was hard since I don't get to claim anything....

...one down, one to go!

Right now it's 84F (29C) with a light breeze. A gorgeous day and much too nice to be stuck inside reading, yet that's what I'm doing. It's days like this that make me wonder if all this work is going to be worth it. I try to tell myself so!

It's supposed to drop to around to overnight temps around the freezing mark within a couple of days, so the reprieve is short-lived, yet it's really a pleasant thought that spring is almost here. This is the kind of thing I was expecting when we moved here, not the sub-arctic temperatures that we've been having this winter. It's really not that different from my winter last year, and there aren't even any chinooks here! Being so far from friends and family should at least be compensated by better weather, but so far, it feels the same.

What a boring blog! just talking about the weather.

We did go see something really cool yesterday - Steph's school was putting on A Midsummer Night's Dream, but instead of moving straight through the play, each scene was enacted between 2 and 4 times by different groups who brought different interpretations to the scene. Some were more dramatic, some more comedic, and some just staged differently (in some cases, they changed the order of actions within a particular scene). That, along with the varying abilities of the students made it an interesting night.

Steph did well - she was originally cast to play Cobweb and Quince in her scene, but the boy who was supposed to play Oberon wasn't there, so she took on three parts within one scene - she did really well and took the temporary loss of one of her props instride. Way to go Steph!

Our family is now eager to see Angela is The Wizard of Oz at the end of the year - she plays the wicked witch and has been practicing her "I'm melting! I'm melting...! throughout the house. They both seem to have quite the flare for the dramatic. Wonder where they get that from...?

And kudos to Sandy for placing 1st in the 2 mile at her meet on Monday! Swift kid!

Very domestic flavor to this post - from the weather to kids activities...oh, well....at least I didn't tell you the state of the vegetable garden or what color I'm painting the linen closet, or some other such mundanity as that (as if I have the time to care what the linen closet looks like!) ha!

As if worrying about the comps isn't enough, I'm starting to realize that I may be in trouble for my actual coursework this term. I'm in two classes - one called Transatlantic Romanticism and the other on Thoreau and Nature. The fact that we read the same book for both classes might tell you something. The fact that most of the questions I got wrong on the GRE were the ones about the nineteenth century might tell you something else. The fact that Thoreau and Romanticism are both nineteenth century phenomena might tell you something else again.

And if that isn't enough, the fact that I owe a big karmic thank you to Kurt for jumping in to the discussion in class today while I was obviously floundering after being put on the spot by the prof should give you a clear idea that I feel WAY over my head in these classes.

I just don't get this stuff.

There are a few Romantics in the department (nineteenth century not Harlequin) who seem to get this stuff, but the reason I was in need of rescue in class was because I just don't seem to read this stuff 'right'. My reading of the material, and what I focused on in the texts, seemed to be diametrically opposed to what the instructor wanted, so much so, that after my obviously screwed up answer, she didn't call on me again - probably afraid I'd start talking about aliens or something...

So, how do I write a couple of intelligent papers in classes that I just don't seem to "get"? It's a challenge I'm trying not to worry about until after May 2nd, but I will have to figure it then. Right now, it's just not looking good.

Monday morning and I'm already exhausted. There's something seriously messed up about being tired on Monday mornings, particularly when you don't even have any good party or event stories from the weekend to show for it.

The thing that's even more disturbing in a long term sort of way is that I have forgotten what weekends are supposed to be like. I've been studying for so many years now, that it's hard to recall what exactly I did on weekends before, since now all I seem to do is study! On good days, that thought is only mildly disturbing...on bad days, it's highly depressing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not short sighted or pessimistic enough to imagine that I never do anything enjoyable on the weekends - we certainly do plan things, even if sometimes they don't work out and we do get out and have fun once and a while. What I'm talking about is the kind of weekend where you have nothing in particular planned (including no urgent errands) and you can wake up on Saturday morning contemplating an entire weekend in which to do whatever you'd like to.

Is this just a mistaken fantasy of mine? Do I just think that other people have weekends like this? Does this kind of weekend really exist at any point after 20?

Maybe I'm just delusional...or maybe I'm just tired from the weekend!

Computer is now mostly working...car is acting up again. Just goes to prove you can't have your cake and eat it too.

Sometimes it's eerie

One of my best friends posted yesterday her thoughts about the (potential) end of the war in Iraq and remembered her response to September 11th at the same time. What's eerie about that, is that my class spent most of our time yesterday discussing September 11th and the war. What's interesting about it, is the difference in responses and I'm not sure if I can sort out whether the differences occur because of the ages of the people responding to the event, or because of their nationality.

I got to school yesterday realizing I had no specific goals for the class for that day. They were to hand in the first draft of their first paper for the course, with me responding to that draft over the weekend (I of course still have to do that) and returning it with my comments so they can write a second draft and then turn in the final paper by the end of next week. I like to use the day that they hand in first drafts as a chance for the students to take a break from what they've been working on and discuss other literary or writing topics that don't necessarily directly relate to the project at hand. I usually begin such classes with a question period and last term, I had one class that loved these opportunities and could fill the entire time with relevant and interesting questions. I usually try to have a poem or short story up my sleeve to discuss if the question period doesn't progress along. This time I choose Yeats, since it was in our anthology, and it was, interestingly, included in a section titled "Understanding September 11, 2001" which included a series of poems that have circulated in response to the event. I presented it to the students from the website from which I took the reprint below, asked them what they thought about it, then we turned to the anthology and read the introduction that identifies Yeats time, place, and position as an Irishman resenting British control of his country. After they realized it was written post-WWI (at that time of course, only know as The Great War), they were better able to understand the nihilism in the poem, though they could not agree with it. I've reprinted the poem here:

The Second Coming
W. B. Yeats

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

(thanks to The Academy of American Poets for their reproduction of the poem)

One of the most surprising things for me was that only one of my students had ever heard this poem before, and none of them recognized any of the phrases that have been appropriated by other writers and filmmakers in their products. No wonder it's so extensively quoted - there are some absoluntely fabulous lyrics in this poem!

The other thing that surprised me was the fact that almost every one of my American college freshman students expressed (almost collectively), a response to 9-11 that focused on its unifying effects, or the need after the event for people to console one another and put the event in perspective. They were not able to understand this poem as a response to 9-11 but they were able to use it as an interpretation of the war in Iraq. While they could not necessarily agree, they assigned the role of the rough beast and the sphynx in the desert to America or Iraq alternately. I was also surprised that in the class, there was no one (or at least no one willing to talk) who could interpret the Christian imagery in the poem or who knew how the events of the apocalypse (a la Revelations) are supposed to unfold.

What interested me was the students inability to understand how this nihilistic or warning poem could be useful to people as a way on understanding these events. My friend Allie, who I started talking about, says (I hope she doesn't mind, but it's so relevant) "perhaps I recognize it a way of understanding how my own thoughts can differ from one day to the other, how my loyalties are torn, how demands are made on my opinions, how my age (now I am in my 30's) precludes me from being absloultey sure of right or wrong..... how I have an awareness now that what I think is right is not always right for someone else. How I realize my opinion or needs are not more important than someone elses.... how I know I am not perfect, or sometimes not even the best person I could be". Since she says very eloquently how I feel as well, the question is, do we both feel this way because we're so much older than my students? or because we're not Americans?

My instinct tells me that age plays the biggest role, but I don't discount that some of the difference may be patriotic.

I'm all for teamwork and helping the next person out...and most of the time I really don't mind if I have to do something that someone else has forgotten about, or otherwise dropped the ball on, but when I've got plenty of my own stuff to do, it gets frustrating to have to run around doing other people's stuff for them. Sure, if I had all the time in the world, it wouldn't be a problem, but I don't, and I do like to sleep, eat, talk to friends and family, you know, normal stuff that other people get to do!

I'm supposed to be at a meeting on Monday and to prepare some materials for that meeting (actually, quite a bit of work) and I was supposed to receive the stuff I needed today from a colleague. Unfortunately, that colleague has not been around, and the coordinator for the meeting isn't either. And now I have no materials to work on over the weekend. Normally, I guess it wouldn't bother me too much, but this particular problem has the potential of costing me a lost opportunity to earn money....and THAT is no laughing matter in this expensive city!

Our car works again! Very good news!

Unfortunately, the computer crashed...is it not possible for all the technology/mechanical objects in one's life to ALL work at the same time?

This comprehensive exam is annoyingly frustrating to study for! I've gotten so much advice about how to study for it, and yet it's so vague, that I'm wiggin' out. It really is an exam that can be about anything in English literature (or film)...yes, they say the best way to study for it is to review all your notes for the last year, but they also tell you that none of the questions are going to be drawn directly from the classwork. And then you hear from someone who took the test last year that there was a question that directly related to that student's research interests. So what the...?

So far, the strategy has been to look at notes, re-read a couple of novels we looked at in different classes and re-read some theory, but the frustrating part is that for everything that I read, I think of something else that I should read...it's like a never ending story! I'm never gonna finish studying for this exam!

Hence the frustration.

So, here's a semi-funny, semi-embarassing story. I had a presentation today in class and had found the material I wanted to use last week, so I was thinking I had it pretty much made. No worries.

So I went in to the city a little earlier than I usually would in part because I wanted to make sure I photocopied some stuff I needed to copy (and the copier's been acting wonky lately) and in part because we were supposed to get a major snowstorm (which still hasn't showed up) and I didn't want to get stuck in traffic. In the photocopier room I met my classmate who is also presenting and he's photocopying his handout for the class. Yikes! We pull out the syllabus...and look at that! We're supposed to have a handout. And guess who doesn't have one! And it's a half hour before class! Ack!

Needless to say, I had a handout by the time class started, but I really can't vouch for how wonderful it was. I didn't even have time to proof read it before I had to print and copy it. Oh well, hopefully the handout part of the presentation wasn't worth too much of the mark! I guess that admonition about reading the directions is a good one - maybe next time I'll have to pay attention to the instructions.

A first attempt at blogging should have a sense of auspiciousness, or at the very least set the tone for the site. However, producing an intelligent and witty commentary on short notice is not as easy as one might think it should be (at least for me!) So instead I think I'll just state my aims for this site.

I guess there's more than one reason why I decided to begin blogging. In the first place, I would not have a blog if it was not for the pressure of my good friend Allie - thanks! It took a long time to convince myself that this wasn't just the most egotistical thing that anyone could do! I still think it's egotistical, but feeding an ego never hurts...it's overfeeding it that creates the problems with the world! ha!

So, to my purposes: since I'm living so far away from so many of my friends, this site gives me the opportunity to let them all know how I'm doing so they hopefully won't forget about me!

And of course starting something as peripheral and unproductive as a blog spot is just the perfect thing to do when you're already overworked and really can't afford to spend time doing it! It's the perfect procrastination device, and a chance to vent, create, and just plain goof off...and isn't that what daydreams are after all? At least this feels a bit more productive than just staring out the window. Besides, the view outside my window at home is uninspiring, and non-existent at school, since I don't have a window there.

So here, goes, I'm contributing to the vast array of text (used in the most inclusive sense possible) on this wonderful wide world web! Cheers!