First comps nightmare last night (yeah, I know, a week after the test!)...but this nightmare was about getting the results back. Since it was a nightmare, I guess it should be obvious that in my dream I failed the exam and was asked to withdraw from the program. The worst part was the sinking feeling I got when I tried to figure out just exactly how I would tell my family that I messed up all their plans as well.

On a positive note...and assuming I do pass the exam and am able to stay... I was at a meeting on Friday in which the head of the department assured us that there would be TAships available for anyone progressing well through the program for their entire degree - which might seem like a given, but there was a point where we weren't sure if we would have to compete for those positions (with of course the possibility of not getting one just because there aren't enough to go round). The bad news is that it doesn't make a big difference to my budget every year since the stipend only covers less than half our monthly living expenses. And while it's not quite Ichiban every night, it's not far off - there isn't much room for the extras. But this is my choice, so I'm trying to live with it.

On the academic front, I still feel a bit stunned from the test last week - I don't think I realized until after how stressed it had made me. Now the push is on to put together papers within the next three and a half weeks. At least I've got a definite okay on one paper topic, and a qualified okay on the other. Last term, for one class that I was taking, it was only the third paper proposal that was accepted, which was a bit frustrating to say the least! I also have to revise a paper I wrote last term, so that it's ready for the conference where I'm presenting it at the end of the month. It will be kinda neat to be at the conference, but the timing isn't the greatest, so I'm looking foward to it less than I'd like.